I’m Busy!
9 years ago by
Okay so this post has absolutely nothing to do with style or beauty, seeing as this blog is becoming my personal space for ranting about existence on earth in general and the new developments of my everyday life in particular, but I have to ask you, WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
We were talking about that on Sunday with two of my French friends at Ladurée Soho, which is the clichéest thing you can do as a group of French girls, but nonetheless delightful. Even more if you’re screaming (have you ever heard a group of French girls talking in French as if no one could understand them? Has it annoyed you? Yes, sorry as that was us yesterday in the back dark corner of Ladurée.) (thing is, Laura had ordered TWO giant palmiers – a sort of crazy French cookie that’s as huge as a Céline Classic and that is a delicious but deathly blend of gluten and sugar, so we where soon hyperventilating, on sugar high, telling each other how much we were totally not having dinner that night.).
Bianca was telling me how she can’t stand living alone, Laura was telling me about how now she’s doing okay and has actually learned to enjoy solitude with a Dalai Lama expression on her face.
Yet, she’s probably the busiest girl I know and has a dinner party every night and weekends in Tulum everyday.
I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, very French On Sugar High of me.
So there, there. WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!
I mean, what’s wrong with me?
Since I’ve been living alone, my life is hell. I have way too much to do, too many friends, too many dinners, I’m busy, I’m busy, I’m busy.
It’s like suddenly, you’re not in a couple and the demons unleash, super fun friends come out of the woodworks and the things you thought you would NDA (never do again) suddenly feel like very valid options, like let’s say bar hopping from The Bowery (high end and annoying) to Tom and Jerry’s (dive bar and annoying) and drink like there is no tomorrow.
It’s like, since I’ve moved in to my new place, I’ve spent… What.
Four evenings alone just hanging out with myself?
Yeah.
So for a little while, I thought it was just because I’m just so busy.
I’m so in demand. I’m so crazy popular, what can I do? Right?
And I mean, it’s not like I’m alone being in the popular zone. Except for one friend of mine who’s in burnt out territory (new York will do that to you if you’re not careful!) and is living a love story with her bed, most my friends have a crazy, neverending, high voltage social life.
Dinners every night, OF COURSE. Pre dinner drinks. Lunches. Crazy New York weekends that I probably already debriefed for you in the past.
We’re actually all pretty crazy popular if you know what I mean. No time to be alone ! Way too many people to see and too many things to do ! It’s like having a burning social fire up your ass 100% of the time.
Till the day you forgot to make plans.
That’s the Southern French speaking to you, here. The girl who, before becoming a New Yorker with loneliness anxiety, would never ever make any plans and would call her friends at the last minute (if she felt like it) and check up on what they were doing.
Usually they were just hanging (probably smoking pot and laughing around) and they would all meet organically, no stress. No plans. Organic. Weed. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.
Anyways, so sometimes I do forget to make plans. You have to forgive me. With such a crazy busy social life, sometimes you don’t even have time to book your next weekend!
And then I find myself alone, in my apartment, with no plans, and I am the happiest person there can be on planet Earth, it’s so great.
Aaaaahhhhhh.
Mmmmnnn.
Goooood okay.
Okayokayokay.
Let’s make a tea.
Oh, a text! Emily sending me a photo of her on the trapeze! Trapeze afternoon! Fun!
…
Wait.
Why am I not doing something exciting like trapeze right now again?
Oh yeah cause I didn’t make plans.
Why didn’t I make plans again?
Oh yeah, cause I didn’t have time to. Maybe I didn’t really want to?
Or because, my friends are all doing exciting things and I’m left out?
No.
Remember, Sarah asked me if I wanted to play tennis and I said no?
I could have had a plan, had I wanted.
See? So all is good. I’m gonna stay here and enjoy my beautiful solitude.
But wait. Let me just check to make sure. What is Paul doing?
Garance to Paul : Hey what’s up?
Paul to Garance : I’m in Japan you just woke me up [guns and skulls emoticons]
Garance to Paul : Who sleeps with their phone not on silent? Even more when they are in Japan? Pfffffff. Come back soon.
Yeah so okay so it’s all good so I’m just gonna stay here and enjoy my own company for once.
Let’s try to read that Lena Dunham book.
Mmmmmmm
Okay but first let’s check what Delphine is doing.
Garance to Delphine : Yo what’s up?
Delphine to Garance : I’m biking on the highline with Wes! Come with!!!
Garance to Delphine : No way I’m enjoying solitude as we speak. So good.
Delphine to Garance : Then why are you texting me?
Garance to Dephine : Aaaaargh shit okay I’m coming.
That’s it. Some people write books called 100 Years Of Solitude and some can’t even spend a New York minute alone. Guess who’s the literary genius of the two? Yeaaaaah (read that book it’s amazing by the way)(if you can stand to be alone with no external stimulus for more than five minutes that is)(Lena, I’m on your case. Your books seems amazing, I’m totally reading it.)
So, hey now. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?
Well, I guess I forgot how to be alone. In the city that never sleeps (oh my God that formula was even more cliché than three French girls spending an afternoon at Ladurée) you can spend 100% of your time out and connected.
Being busy is a sort of natural state today. People LOVE being busy, people glorify being busy, people feel like they’re not actually existing when they are not busy. I don’t know where it came from, that feeling of self importance we derive from our busidom.
Some people will go very low to not be not busy (like go riding a bike on the highline ahahah just kidding Delphine)(or shopping for things they don’t need)(or going on a date just out of boredom like my friend that just can’t stand a Sunday evening alone) and be with themselves.
We’re like kids who want to be entertained all the time.
Yet, we all know that leaving kids alone playing on their own in their bedroom is the best way for them to develop a creative and interesting life.
The first time I lived alone after university, right after years of living with my best friend, was a real shock for me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. But after a few weeks of freaking out, one evening I got inspired, put on some jazz, and made my first collage.
It was beautiful. Super meaningful. I still love it.
It was the first time I was creating something on my own, for me, just because.
It’s probably that collage, that moment, that paved the way to the creative life I’m living today.
Had I not put myself in a real moment of solitude, I would probably be a banker and would have never invented the iPhone like I did.
So, WHATS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
They’re just too crazy busy!
I’m not anymore. I’m enjoying my solitude.
DON’T call me.
Please?
Eheheh.
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i find that most of the time we’re busy so we can fill our life so we don’t feel lonely. i have discovered that i enjoy this solitude, this time to think and figure out who the f i am. and yes, it’s taken 51 years to find out. i’ve discovered my art again, my fashion sense which never really left but now i can get my mojo on way more with it. garance, you are amazing alone or with someone and you shine, that is clear. we can’t seem to let things be and just enjoy our next breath but it does happen. you don’t strike me as a woman who is afraid of being alone but it don’t suck when you’re friends call!!!!!
i enjoy solitude. i make time for it! :)
http://littleaesthete.com
I can’t stand alone for more than 10 minutes…then I begin to plan a meeting!!!
XOX, Gap.
http://www.gaptoothedgirl.com
Vous avez plein de talents Garance ! A la fois drôle et touchante dans vos écrits.
Ironique et tendre …
Normal que vous ayez plein d’amis et trop de choses à faire !
Il est un peu barré ce post, non? Hihihi profite de ta solitude! tu n’en auras plus quand tu auras des enfants! Parfois je rêve d’une semaine de vacances seule sans mon mari et mes 3 bébés, dans un spa à lire des livres pendant qu’on me masse!
Qui a dit qu’elle voulait des enfants ? et oui , on peut ne pas en vouloir :p
suis d’accord avec Perrine. Ce “quand tu auras des enfants”, comme si forcément elle voulait ou allait en avoir. La vie, c’est l’incertitude et ça, en premier lieu. On peut ne pas en vouloir, en vouloir et n’en avoir jamais, ne pas en vouloir et se retrouver à en avoir etc etc… Tout est possible, rien n’est écrit et surtout pas ça!! :-)
Ah…..il me semblait avoir lu un post qui disait (entre les lignes) qu’elle en voudrait un jour…
Les philosophes (surtout Heidegger) te diraient que cette peur de l’ennui, donc du vide, c’est surtout la peur de la mort… et puis il y a ceux qui disent que ces gens ne se supportent pas assez pour apprécier leur seule ccompagnie. ” Commence déjà à être l’ami de toi-même, tu ne seras jamais seul. » SENEQUE
Je n’ai rien a ajouter a ce commentaire, car c’est exactement ce que je pense !
ouhlala, on dirait que tu es en pleine hyperglycémie tellement ce post va vite et est bourré de majuscules et de points d’exclamation…
slow down :)
l’état que tu décris peut être super si on choisit vraiment ce qu’on fait. Dans cette période de ma vie, j’ai fait et testé des trucs que j’ai adoré faire, parce que, enfin, j’avais la possibilité de les faire sans demander à une autre personne si elle voulait ou si elle était disponible à cette date-là. Donc plongée, voyage, week-end lointains, diner “mystère” où j’ai rencontré des gens très cool, coaching sportif, méditation dans un centre, etc.
Mais parfois le repos forcé mène à ce que tu décris sur la créativité, et c’est tellement chouette. J’ai eu des soirées couture, musique et mug de thé, un vrai bonheur. En gros, ne pas subir, jamais!
Ca faisait un moment que je n’étais pas venue sur ton blog, et oui, j’étais trop busy du boulot aussi.
Quand tu es en couple, tu vis à deux, tu penses à deux, tu n’es jamais ou très très rarement seule et les moments de solitude que tu t’accordes, tu les provoques (un spa, un hammam, un cinéma tranquille sans pistolets, sans fin du monde et sans bimbo à poitrines généreuses) ou une soirée entre filles, mais mensonge! tu n’es pas seule!
Tu t’habitues donc à ne plus être seule, quand ca te retombe dessus, tu es perdue.
Ca m’est arrivée aussi, après plusieurs années de relation (où au final j’étais quand même un peu seule mais ce n’est pas le débat), ca a été dur, de réapprendre à vivre pour moi, juste pour moi, à ne penser qu’à moi. Les amis ont été présents, mais aussi trop présents. Il faut réussir à accepter que les autres soient seuls et cesser d’inviter sans cesse les amis célibataires qu’avec des amis en couple, c’est l’angoisse totale ca, ca pue le traquenard à 1000 kilomètres!
Ma sœur vit la même chose aujourd’hui et je la surprends à dire des choses du genre “J’ai 24 ans et rien de prévu le samedi soir, ca craint, je suis déjà une vieille”. C’est horrible non?
Avoir des moments à soi est nécessaire, puis il faut aussi appréhender la solitude, pour ne pas devoir retourner dormir chez ses parents en cas de divorce parce qu’on a peur de dormir seule dans son appartement (true story !!!!).
Ce n’est pas non plus une honte d’être seule, célibataire j’entends. Ca arrive à des moments de la vie, c’est tout c’est comme ca et ca permet de ne penser qu’à soi, de se retrouver (ca fait très Eat Pray & Love tout ca!).
Repose toi bien Garance et profites des samedi à venir ;)
Une fois de plus je partage ce vécu. C’est fou cet art de vivre en étant toujours occupé, que les gens cultivent à s’en rendre fou dans les grands centres urbains ! Je pensais ce phénomène typiquement Nord américain. Après des voyages successifs France-Canada ces dernières années, je constate qu’il envahit aussi Paris et l’Europe, horreur. Courage Garance reste l’ambassadrice du mode de vie à la française (du Sud), qui est bien meilleur pour le moral (et une source de jouvence naturelle) !
I’m always busy! but with my own “off world”, no one there except me and my laptop, i forgot to have a party life since… i can’t remember, and i know that what i’m doing now (indulging me, myself in what i love the most) will payoff someday, and now you proved that to me, maybe we need to go out from time to time, the balance here is all what matters, no more party till you forget yourself, and no more yourself till you can’t stand it anymore.
Here, Here!! I agree that it is important to take time off for yourself, even if society thinks it’s self-indulgent to do so. These are the moment when you grow the most, and are therefore later able to share valuable insights and ideas with the world/group. But then again I’m an introvert as well so that might be why I believe you need to remove yourself to digest and reflect; maybe an extrovert will say they grow the most being with a bunch of people around them, who knows:))
As a textbook introvert I need my solitude to recharge and refresh. In New York my favourite place to recharge is at the fountain in Lincoln Plaza at night. The water washes out the sounds of the city and I’m ready to reenter society again.
Spend more time in solitude decorating your new apartment. We want to see!
Bon Garance tu t’emmerdes le weekend!! Viens nous voir à Miami…
Ou débranche ton téléphone…
http://www.blushandbeyond.com/maquillqge/sos-beaute/
Bisous
Alix
Thanks for sharing this Garance! I recognize it a lot. After breaking up a relationship of 12 years I moved from a provincial town to Amsterdam.I made many new friends, discovered all cool places, and there was no sitting alone on my couch, not one evening. I think it’s very okay to do that for a while, untill at some point it will be a bit much and you feel you need to slow down again, and hey what, you might discover that there is nothing to be afraid of, being alone on a evening just relaxing from a day at work.
Ma Garance
When we change life from being single to couple or the opposite like you .we need time to adjust…. So in the beginning before finding the new balance .we are everywhere… But there is a moment where things stops by themselves….if it’s NY or Paris or ….
Xoxo
Yael Guetta
http://www.ftwwl.com
Moi j’adooooore être seule! C’est ma soupape de non pétage de plomb à Paris… ;-) Mais bon, rien ne sert d’aller contre sa nature non plus.
Parce que c’est pas en te forçant à rester seule dans l’espoir de créer que tu créeras… ;-)
BTW, merci encore pr l’iphone ;-)
Alixxx
http://alixdebeer.com
Goooo ! you can …
kisses
http://www.normcoregirl.com
très belle illustration .
Time just flies by – faster and faster and faster.
Come to the Caribbean – it’s slow here. :)
Priscilla Joy
http://www.43concept.com
Dutch Caribbean
Thank you for making me feel less…alone! I, too, just split from my live-in boyfriend and am riding the same roller coaster: I don’t want to stay in! But dinners and bar hopping every night is too much! I’m too old for this. Ah, a night of peace…oh wait, a concert? Okay!
Eventually, we will find balance. Phew.
J’ai longtemps dit que j’étais jalouse de la solitude. J’adore me retrouver avec elle, je m’en enveloppe. Même que l’autre jour, je me suis demandée si je ne venais pas de passer une journée sans parler! Et c’était le cas!
Je m’entraîne en musculation, je vais au café, au cinéma, je fais un 100km de vélo pour aller manger un hot dog et une frite, je vais au café lire, je vais au marché public, je reste chez moi lire des livres pour le job.
Et le plus drôle, c’est que tout le monde jalouse ma journée!
Comme quoi ceux qui sont avec leurs amis se demandent pourquoi ils ne sont pas avec leur solitude! Et vice versa
ps: Garance, si tu signes un T-shirt chez Gap, avec ce dessin dessus, j’achète tout de suite!! :-)
There are times when you MUST party like there is not tomorrow- and one of them is when you just came out of a long relationship! My last break up? I would leave home on Friday afternoon and wouldn’t be back until Sunday evening :) (terrible, I know…I was crashing at friend’s sofas I so didn’t want to be on my own with my own thoughts). During the week I would work like crazy. Eventually it all settled but I’m glad I did it. I have one of the best and craziest memories in my life.
Ana
http://www.champagnegirlsabouttown.co.uk
Puisque Sénèque a été cité, je me permets d’évoquer Pascal :
“Tout le malheur des hommes vient d’une seule chose qui est de ne pas savoir demeurer au repos dans une chambre”…
A méditer.
Il est TRES difficile de s’arrêter, de ne rien faire, de ne voir personne (c’est pour ça que des gens sont prêts à payer cher pour des retraites de silence ou autre). Ça s’apprend, ça demande des efforts au quotidien (argh, surmonter ses angoisses, sa peur de la mort, etc.), mais au final, on y gagne tellement!
Oulaaaa, beaucoup de choses à méditer dans ce post ;)
http://www.meditationlovers.com
hahah I love love this!!! you are a total genius. write a book?
Xo, Belen
A Hint of Life
this goes through my head every single time I drive in LA
http://hashtagliz.com
I LOVE BEING HOME ALONE… that said, I am you 100%. I’m a chef and therefor an adrenaline junkie, and therefor engaging every moment of life with more life until I pass out. So I try to keep my Sunday afternoon/earlyeve/nights for me. I nap around my house from couch to bed to day bed and read and eat and text and create new outfits and watercolor and do whatever and watch PBS like a religion… But I always wonder– what is everyone else up to???
@stovetopped
Well… you can always say “non”.
It’s hard to break out of the momentum of “doing” in New York. Whether it’s FOMO (sorry, had to use the hip kids’ phrase here…) or just general compulsion or any number of reasons, there are just so many options. In some ways, it helps me to feel connected to people, but it is definitely detrimental to feeling connected with myself. My husband and I talk about this all of the time. We’re always busy, have to go somewhere, can’t do things around the house, go grocery shopping, etc. It’s exhausting. I’ve recently been trying to bring meditation back to my everyday practice, but even 5 min before I go to sleep is hard!
http://www.enduringethereal.com
Solitude helps me recharge!
http://www.FashionSnag.com
Hey Garance! My post of today is for you! xxx
Love
Milla
http://turnonchic.wordpress.com/
Gilbert Bécaud disait : “La solitude ça n’existe pas. Chez moi il n’y a plus que moi et pourtant ça ne me fait pas peur
La radio, la télé sont là pour me donner le temps et l’heure. J’ai ma chaise au Café du Nord. J’ai mes compagnons de flipper…..”
alors que Barbara chantait : “Je l´ai trouvée devant ma porte, un soir, que je rentrais chez moi. Partout, elle me fait escorte. Elle est revenue, elle est là, la renifleuse des amours mortes. Elle m´a suivie, pas à pas. La garce, que le Diable l’emporte ! Elle est revenue, elle est là”
Chacun puise en soit ce qui lui convient le mieux à un temps X de sa vie…. enjoy your life car tu as une belle vie !
Excellent post. I have that disorder where I love to see lots of activities on my calendar then panic because there’s so much on my calendar and I just want my time to be my own.
Anyhow, I’ll keep it short today. You can only pick up something new when your hands are empty. If your hands (schedule, life, closet, mind ) are full, it’s impossible to pick up anything new/better/more interesting.
XOXO from Petey and Jane to the A-Dore-Ables in the Studio
Oh Jane,
thank you again for your insightful and wise comment! I have to admit, most of the time, I scroll down the comments just to find out what you have to say on the topic:) Always fun to read and inspirational, not hurried, speaking of wisdom and lived truths.
And of course Garance,
thank you for sharing the feelings you are having these past weeks. Your words are very poignant and it hits me every time, “yes, of course it’s like this, she”s right about that…” Simple rules and truths that I often forget. I guess we all do, we get so lost and entangled in things sometimes…
Thank you both!
Thank you for this… I’m going to keep this one…
Garance, on devrait faire une série avec tes chroniques.
Franchement quand je lis ça, j’imagine une série composée de toutes tes chroniques un peu comme SATC, mais en mieux. Une série qu’on pourrait binge-watcher (c’est moche je sais, mais c’est le seul mot qui me vient à l’esprit pour traduire le concept) jusqu’à la fin de nos jours.
Amen.
je crois que c’est le cas partout, et pas uniquement à NY ! quand on est en couple, on cocoone, on est (parfois) en auto-suffisance, on se coule dans les obligations et les envies de l’autre (et parfois ça nous donne bonne conscience à soi)
quand on est célibataire, est-ce qu’on fait pas aussi des trucs, inconsciemment, pour rencontrer le prochain ? est-ce qu’on se dit pas aussi qu’il faut en profiter pour faire des trucs, voir des gens, car notre future vie de couple (on y pense forcément inconsciemment, même si on en a pas envie) nous ramènera dans cette autonomie ?
remarque, même en couple, on a besoin parfois aussi de “faire des trucs”, juste, ce sont des trucs différents !
bon après avec les enfants, la solitude, on l’espère, on la chérit (d’autant qu’on sait qu’elle dure rarement !!)
La solitude fait peur. Les humains ne sont pas faits pour être seuls. Quelques animaux le sont. Etre occupé 24/24, ou faire semblant, c’est terriblement pathétique, du genre “si je ne dis pas que j’ai 10 000 choses à faire pendant le we, je suis une pauvre chose asociale, genre loser, pas dans le mood”. Moi, j’aime bien la solitude : elle permet de s’apprivoiser, voire de s’aimer, et de décider avec clairvoyance. Courage Garance !
Vas-y Garance , fais nous un blog ” psy ” , c’est passionnant vu par toi , la solitude… J’adore .
Je n’ai pas peur de la solitude , en vrai , elle me ressource , me repose .
Mais … J’ai besoin de contacts , d’échanges , d’amitié , comme tous les humains , non ?
Ben moi je suis terriblement humaine .
Your blog, specifically these posts, are the modern day Sex and the City column (well except for the sex but still!). I love it, I love it. Keep it up, Carrie Bradshaw, you’re awesome and very inspiring.
Brilliant!
This is so important! I cannot overestimate the gravity of what you have written. I used to be busy all the time. Hands always full. Getting two degrees at the same time while maintaining various hobbies and interesting social life? Pff, easy peasy. I was so busy I didn’t have time to spent 5 minutes alone just listening to my own thoughts. I’m not even talking about meditation. Just about asking questions: why do I do this? I was so busy I didn’t have time to notice how depression slipped into my life and how I kept going not because I wanted to, but because I just didn’t know WHAT I wanted. And then it stopped. Being strictly non-drinking and non-smoking person I had no stimulants to lean on but also nothing to obscure my view. I realised that all this business was just an escape from an enormous fear that I didn’t know where I was going and what I was doing in my life. Filling every day with various activities and other people’s plans and dreams made me feel that there is some purpose, there is some goal. Thing is, it wasn’t MY goal.
I love this, and your whole take on things in general. Thank you for making me think and laugh in such a serious-but-not-so-painfully-self-important-serious way this morning.
And then there’s those of us who don’t live in New York, have small kids, and never have time to be creative for a whole host of other (mostly glorious but sometimes tiring) reasons. But we choose our life every day, no? So when it stops working, make a difference choice tomorrow. It’s all good.
Thanks for this nice post!
great post
xxx
http://www.dominiquecandido.com
again you hit the single-girl nail on the head, G! it’s ridiculous how busy things are some weeks. i am a bit of an introvert, so i am required to tap into that quiet bit of me that’s slowly going insane from too much social time before i explode and get introvert anger all over everyone… still, that doesn’t mean i’m not sitting at home alone on those nights, wondering why i am at home alone.
I miss the time when I lived alone. I enjoy my own company and dont feel the need to fill up each and every moment with people and things to do. Just chill at home…or go for a coffee/tea alone! Trust me its good for you every now and then.
http://www.itsallbee.com
J’ai repondu a un commentaire plus haut et j’ai oublie de dire combien j’aimais l’illustration.
No matter how organized and how I space my time, I always feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to sleep so we can have more time for fun things… but I do love my rest!
http://www.jjfaust.com
You crack me up! But I’m far too busy to comment further… (emoticon big smile)
Le fond et la forme de ton post, en surchauffe, me font penser que tu l’es peut être…en burn out… Qu’est-ce-qui se cache derrière tous ces points d’exclamations, et ces mots qui claquent façon Times Square ? Tes récents posts portent trop de remises en cause. Ma petite voix me dit que tu vis un petit tsunami intérieur… Bon courage ma belle !
J’adore la solitude mais je suis en couple… Comme mon mari est souvent absent pour le travail, j’alterne les semaines seule avec des semaines à deux. C’est le parfait équilibre pour moi. Et dans ces moments perso… je dois parfois me faire violence pour sortir. Bon, en même temps, Windhoek ce n’est pas NY… Tiens, vendredi je suis invitée à un Fashion Show !
Great post Garance! Would really like to see more about ‘life’ from you! Maybe this could be a ‘pardon my french’ installment?
Complètement d’accord : il est barré ce post, je plussoie. T’as bu? T’étais bourrée ?!! lol.
I can relate to this post so much! I too live alone and started feeling like my time was being dominated by other people’s schedules. It became so overwhelming, and I felt like anytime I would say “no” to someone they would respond with, “well when’s the next time you’re free?” Before I knew it I was booked two weeks in advance! So you know what I did? I signed up for a yoga class two nights a week. I’m terrible at yoga, but at least now I know that Monday and Wednesday nights are scheduled “me” time, and it’s become the highlight of my week! I was getting so frustrated having my free time being divided up into other people schedules, that I decided to actually schedule time for myself to do something I enjoyed. It’s made such a difference for my mental wellbeing (and my biceps which is an added bonus!)
OK …J’A-DORE CE POST complètement dingue!!! … En ce moment je surkiffe tes posts de femme célibataire, tu te lâches! ahah. Tu es chanceuse d’avoir des amis qui te sollicitent, profite! Et dans le même temps un peu de solitude permet de se recentrer un peu sur soi et d’être moins “hors de soi” XX
Ahhhhh la solitude, ben moi j’adore. Je ne m’ennuie jamais avec moi, je dois apprécier ma compagnie sans doute :-) Ou aimer que personne ne s’immisce entre moi et moi. C’est un moment précieux, que j’attends avec impatience, où je me prévois plein de choses avec moi (que je ne me fais jamais). Et je savoure encore plus de retrouver le monde, le boulot, la vie.
I love being alone. I just need to spend time by myself once in a while, it’s a real necessity, like sometimes people is talking to me and I don’t even have the energy to nodd. Yeah, that much. On the other hand, it really takes some discipline to spend quality time alone and not to end up on a Netflix marathon, (i do love Netflix marathons, but one must know when to stop), because as you said it, when you spend time by yourself, you feel free to create and do things you don’t usually do when you’re busy. And I guess its different according to the place you’re living in. Some cities offer you an endless amount of entertainment and some others, well, not so much.
Bisous!! xx
Great post Garance! My favorite part of your blog are these pieces where you analyze something about our society.
I think we like being busy because we are not comfortable with ourselves; solitude brings self-reflection and that can be uncomfortable for some. So we create distractions and fill out our lives with activities. Also, as you highlighted in your post about perfection, in a world where everyone is so “perfect” who wants to be the only loser with no fun hobbies and fabulous activities filling out our lives, never mind the perfect job or perfect boyfriend. Plus, Social Media makes it easy for people to compare each other and before we know it we are on the hamster wheel trying to be the most interesting or having a serious case of FOMO.
I’ll say bring on Beck’s song “I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me”:))
somehow it sounds to me that you are trying to show/prove someone that you’re doing great as single, that you are over and enjoying life like never before…
” In the city that never sleeps…” : Je t’imagine écrire cette phrase sur ton bureau, proche de la fenêtre avec vue sur la rue en bas de ton appartement… Et soudain je pense à Carrie Bradshaw et à ses articles, la façon qu’elle a de raconter les petits moments de la vie, les bons comme les mauvais. Et plus je lis tes articles (surtout les derniers, parce que cela fait quand même quelques années que je te lis), plus tu me fais penser à elle !
Ca alors, j’ai lu les autres commentaires uniquement après avoir posté le mien et je viens de me rendre compte que je ne suis pas la seule à te comparer à Carrie ! Go girl !
Wow, first of all, looking at all the responses you get here your actually never alone. I have been moving around so much in the last years that I was so busy trying to visit everyone and meeting new people. Now back in Amsterdam I sometimes miss my busy life in Dubai and actually my colleagues joked I couldn’t be busy on a weekend. Well, this weekend I got the flu and had to slow down and actually just enjoyed silence, long baths and doing nothing! Project house Garance so we can all have a peak ;-) With love from Sojustnice.com
Comme d’hab G, je me retrouve dans tes mots…Habiter seule n’a pas était facile au debut: tjs un truc de prévu, ne rentrer chez soi que pour dormir , (voir ne pas rentrer du tout) ou alors avoir tout le temps du monde à l’appart, bref ne jamais être seule !! Mais au bout de quelques mois, on apprécie ces soirées off, rentrer chez soi, prendre un bain sur un fond de jazz (ou des Hanson, dédicace à Alex) se mater un film et “essayer” de rien faire. Maintenant j’ai même instauré un rituel: MA soirée off c’est mon lundi soir. Ce soir la, rien de prévu outside, c’est MA soirée à moi, je vois personne, je sort pas et j’appelle personne ! Et tu sais quoi? Et bien je l’apprécie grave et parfois même je me surprends à me la rêver avec impatience.
Xx
Cora
I love you, Garance :-) You are my Gwyneth :)
Ha! I totally laughed out loud at that (in a nce way) as I completely agree ;-)
Garance, I love these posts of yours! Anyway, after every break-up I go through this conundrum. You overbook yourself to avoid being alone and start doing things you loved not to do while in a relationship (bar hopping, events you couldn’t care for). After a few weeks you get burnt out, but this just means you are trying to find balance. Over time, you will find a good place. :)
Garance, la vie est un choix. T’as vie est un enfer car trop de sollicitations? Tu peux aussi dire non et les gens comprendraient… Ce qui serait bien, ça serait que tu n’ai pas besoin d’être en compagnie pour être bien. SOIT TA MEILLEURE AMIE et aime faire des trucs avec toi même. Au lieu de booker toutes tes soirées pour voir du monde, essaie de ne rien prévoir 2 soirs par semaine. Laisser place à la spontanéité: t’as envie de sortir? T’appelles quelqu’un. T’as juste envie d’être tranquille à te faire des soins chez toi ou à regarder une série (genre Breaking Bad). Et ben c’est kiffant!
Perso, 38 ans (presque 39), après 6 ans de relation, rupture. Sans enfant. Déprime à l’horizon que je comblais par un agenda toujours chargé. Après 6 mois de psy: j’ai appris à être seule avec moi même et me suis inscrite à des cours de photos que j’adore. Résultat même si j’ai pas mal de propositions pour sortir, j’en refuse la moitié car je suis bien chez moi. Faut s’écouter et pour s’écouter, il faut du silence et ça te permettra de voir vers quel horizon tu veux orienter ta vie perso. Sinon c’est brasser du vent. Ps: idée: si tu étais plus souvent toute seule, tu pourrais te mettre à écrire UN LIVRE. Pourquoi pas? ;)
Oh ce dessin, cette allure, ce talent, bravo!
Oh this drawing, this look, this talent, congrats!
http://pinterest.com/GeraldineTrip
Seriously Garance? As one New Yorker to another, this is just annoying. Now that you’ve become a “role model” in our industry, can you not think of something more original than bar hopping and drinking stories at this point in your life? It’s not fresh, and actually ages you. Just saying. P.S. All New Yorkers are busy, and I’m fairly certain most people are too busy in general.
Bon j’ai peut être pas compris l’article, mais je suis un peu étonnée par les commentaires. Si j’ai bien compris tu parles du fait d’être overbookée et les commentaires parlent des bienfaits de la solitude, et je ne comprends pas le rapport avec la choucroute.
(mais c’est peut être juste ma sinusite qui me joue des tours, je sais pas)
Bref.
En tout cas je comprends ce “besoin” (est-ce que ça en est un déjà ?) d’être occupée parce que je suis pareille : seule ou accompagnée, j’aime bien “faire des choses”. Déjà parce que j’ai le sentiment que si tu dis que ce week-end t’as rien fait de spécial (point barre, pas “juste un peu de vélo”, “rien de spécial”) les gens ils ont un peu pitié (et j’aime pas trop ça) et puis surtout parce que j’ai l’impression que le temps que je perds à ne “rien” faire, c’est vraiment du temps perdu, dont je n’ai pas profité et que je ne “récupérerai” pas plus tard.
Un peu comme si c’était du gâchis de pas profiter. Mais honnêtement, au fond, je ne sais pas bien si c’en est réellement un, de gâchis.
(c’est clair ce que je raconte ou bien ?)
Après, seule ou accompagnée ne change rien au degré d’occupation, parfois je fais bien plus de choses seule que quand je suis avec des amis sur un banc et qu’on regarde tous les canards vivre leur vie en silence.
Et sinon, comme cela a été déjà dit, il est très joli ce dessin :-)
Ahhhh, what a nice post! I also moved out from an apartment and a long relationship and something miraculous started happening: everything I wanted to do for years, but didn’t have enough time, focus or whatever (all excuses, I was just blocked by the fact that I was so rarely alone) – I started doing. I started writing again, I finally fixed my sewing machine and started designing a little line of dresses, I even started to meditate after years and years of just planning to! But now, I seem to be developing a new issue: I enjoy my time alone so much that I avoid more and more social occassions. Seriously, I went out the other night and all I could think was ” what a waste of time, I wish I was back home drawing”. And socially intensive weekends have as a result at least a day of two of complete self-immersion: I just told my friend yesterday that I had an urge to shut down my ears and my eyes and isolate totally from the outside world for a day. Omg, I just realised how crazy this all sounds. It seems I’ll be a crazy artist and spend my days peeing in bottles howard Huges-style.
I love your posts that aren’t connected to style or beauty, they’re the best part of the blog, you’re such a good writter!
Ah c’est trop vrai et parfois je me dis qu’on a vraiment pleins de points communs (je sais ça te fais une belle jambe ;), moi aussi en générale j’ai une tendance naturelle pour les plans à l’arrache, appeler les gens au dernier moment. C’est vrai que j’ai fait de sacrés progrès en organisation, en tt cas, pareil, je suis de plus en plus busy…Et devine ce que je tente de lire… 100 ans de solitude :) Bisous
For a moment i thought you were speaking of a generic phrase “i am soooo busy” that people use as an excusefor not wanting to find time. I felt like a “loser, baby” when some of my friends created that picture of ever active girls while i could find time. And then, i found myself creating distractions and new interests, and actually saying the same to other people. “My schedule is hectic”. But it was self created. And it makes you no happier. It dumbs the feeling of what really i s going on. We become activity and information junkies, but solitude is sometimes where the truth is. :)
You a banker? Never ever! Problem with solitude: it’ s a labile state. It starts maybe with some ennui and then you casually start dealing with something. The next hours you get more and more happy about it, even forget passing of time. But manage the day by your own can quickly turn to a pitiable condition when carousel of thoughts starts going round maybe triggered by social networking. You described it very funny. In that self-displeased moments I try to stay away from those I am associated with. I try to stop carousel-thinking by going to new places or activities and trust to chance. High line – strolling alone – is not such as bad for: Sitting or lying on a long wooden bank … looking at tourists … having a coffee ( waiting 20 minutes for a fresh brewed really strong coffee). Ed Ruscha did a mural on high line: “Honey, I twisted through more damn traffic today” in other words: New York is crazy busy and crowded. Stay at home ?
Just GET MARRIED! as soon as you have a husband or wife, your life will be slowly less busier and busier and then enjoy solitude or busyness depending on your mood when a spouse is away for business trip or something else. Of course, from the moment you have a child or children, your life will be back in the busy mode though! LOL :p
This entry is so timely and apropos for moi! Just yesterday I was writing and came to the revelation that “it’s not either or”, it’s balance…ebb and flow. My challenge is not only balance in my social life, but also when it comes to spending money on the creature comforts of life. For example, I recently decided that as much as I generally hate the subway – I’m a West Coast driving kind of girl – sometimes the subway is more efficient and makes more sense. Other times an Uber is the right choice. Sometimes a professional mani/pedi is the answer and sometimes I can do my own. My home decor is made up of baubles from Jonathan Adler and Junk (in Brooklyn). My beauty regimen is a mix of drugstore finds & Diptyque. Just like my wardrobe and home decor are a mix of hi/lo, my lifestyle choices can be the same. I don’t have to feel bad about making certain choices, because in the end, they balance out.
Thanks for sharing with us Garance!
XOXO
http://bellebrut.com
http://bellebrut.tumblr.com
Oh, Garance. You just described my life to a T. When I’m alone in my apartment at night, sometimes I start to panic – like WHY am I alone, why am I not with friends, does this mean I don’t have enough friends, why does no one want to hang out with me, etc. I think that part of it is New York and the fact that it is SO hard to meet people and become friends in this city, so when you have a little alone time, you can see that lonely void and it freaks you out.
Anyway, I know that these posts of yours are a bit off-topic from the rest of your blog, but I really, really appreciate them.
Treasure time with myself and schedule it if needed. Big difference between alone and lonely. Also, being lonely sometimes isn’t necessarily bad.
Garance, your last few illustrations have been off the charts good.
Not long ago a good friend from NYC came down to San Juan, PR to visit with a few friends. It was a long weekend & the weather was post-card perfect… deep blue sky, turquoise warm beach, with a sweet breeze caressing the palm trees. The perfect setting to just chill & spend the days sipping mojitos swinging in the hammock doing simply & beautifully nothing. Just what I thought someone coming from the city to a little Caribbean island might want to do, right? Wrong! They never stopped. Not for a minute. They couldn’t! Even if they wanted to. So sad!
This was a hard read.
This is another GREAT post! i loved reading it!!
I am not single and yet, i was always “running after time”, i always wanted to have things to do, interesting things, making every second count. My fear was that one day, i would look back and see that time went by and i didn’t make the best of it. So i kept planning activities, going out, sometimes with my hubby, sometimes with my friends if he didn’t feel like going out (he is the introvert kind), courses, art stuff, movies, exhibitions and many more (we used to live in Paris, so there are always many many things to do)..
And then, I had a burn out! it came a few months after my first child (I know, it changes things, but still, i kept going, on top of being a mummy and doing mummy things), and i then realized that “resting” is not “time wasting”. In my burn out, all i wanted, all i was dreaming about was to be alone, and in silence. I took walks in Paris, sat in the gardens, and just enjoyed being alone.
Since that moment, i have always taken time alone, at home, watching TV, reading magazines, sleeping… or outside, walking by myself and looking at things and people… just enjoying time by myself! I still go out a lot and do many things with people, I am very extravert and love being around friends, but I try to balance between both, and i think that works quite well :)
It’s a big life change when you go from living with someone to living solo. Garance, I hope you are remembering to take time to breathe?
You know, I think you’re much better without that bald short guy. He is so pretentious.
I know you won’t post this so I will g o ahead and say: his blog lately, OMG, not pretty.
Yours, on the contrary, is energetic and lovely and evolving. Just like you.
xx, it gets better.
I hated that people kept telling me that, but they were right.
Like you wrote Garance; the glorification of busy. The introvert me wants to scream. I need to be alone and to do nothing to be able to recharge, otherwise I explode. But today it seems that we are supposed to be busy all of the time and we are supposed to love it. Since I’m not that kind of person I feel that society thinks I’m lazy. We are all different. Some does love to be busy, but that’s just not me, and it feels good to read that I’m not the only one.
dearest garace,
als so often i can exactly relate to your thoughts… feeling… and conclusion.
when i was visiting my friends in new york (i moved to shanghai 3 months ago http://madeausynot.blogspot.com/2014/10/new-planet.html) i also found myself spending half my day… iPhone in hand… making plans with eeeeveryone. i did love having so much girl-friends-time but being someone who has always enjoyed good me-time, and also think is very healthy i made sure to also do things on my own. go for walks with the perfect soundtrack pulsating through my headphones… or a manicure… or yoga…. or a solo-afternoon-coffe, and the essential thing for me-time is airplane mode! (but be warned…… some of your friends might be shocked the first times… when you don’t respond their texts immediately)
yes, it is not easy being alone (especially when you didn’t choose it, (but simply forgot to make plans….) and living alone the first time (here in shanghai) i also catch myself making sure that i have enough entrainment planed the next days….. and sometimes the thought of self-pity (i guess…) will cross my mind (because “i don’t have anyone to hang out with meeee”) but i actually feel more sorry for the people who can’t be alone…….. spending time with myself is the most important because iiiii am the most important ;-), right?
as always, thank you….
madelaine
Oh wow! You do sound super-busy, Garance.
From the ages of twenty two to twenty nine, I was a complete extrovert, catching up with friends either in person, or over the phone or writing them long letters – no mobiles or email yet in those days!
Now, ever since my son turned eight, seven years ago, I’m only an extrovert on the rare occasions I am with with friends (about three times a year).
I think solitude is something we all need – and circumstances will dictate whether or not we need more or less solitude.
Right now, other than work hours, I am a complete introvert. I find I really need that down-time to read, write music, paint, garden, do yoga, run, walk. Solitude nourishes and invigorates me, so that I can be whoever I need to be for my family and friends.
Solitude prevents me from becoming a complete write-off when my fifteen year old son comes home from school and needs my help with school work (plus, although he loves his solitude, he loves to chat about his day, too – and I’m gonna encourage that all I can, to avoid him becoming a surly, non-comuunicative adult male in the last few years we have together without the distraction of girlfriends and having his own car to drive).
With my husband, when he returns from work, I just need to be my cheerful self – nothing spectacular – but it makes for more enriching family time when I take those times of solitude for myself. Time alone is also essential for me to cook decent meal every night for the two men in my life. I am not at all a domesticated person, so I find that being alone actually makes me a whole lot more enthusiastic and creative with my cooking.
The difficulty with my increased preference for solitude is that friends who are still single have become resentful that I don’t go out for dinner at the drop of a hat with them any near as frequently. In truth, I don’t enjoy those frequent, long dinners out anymore, either. I don’t like that my teenage son obviously doesn’t enjoy these dinners and finds it hard to sit looking interested as his parents and their friends talk about “grown-up” things; and I don’t like that my friends (a) feel they have to curb what and how they say things when my son comes with us (he’s an only child, so to frequently leave him home alone while my husband and I go out is just plain mean – why have kids if I’m going to do that) or (b) they don’t curb what they say and are inappropriate.
Having said that, who knows what I’ll be like once my son grows up completely? I may go back to being more extroverted. However, I doubt I will ever go back to being as busy as I was in my twenties and early thirties. It was just too tiring and soul-depleting.
Je ne pense pas que ce soit une question de circonstances, plutôt une question de caractère. Certains se trouvent très bien en tête à tête avec eux-même (qu’ils soient en couple ou pas), d’autres n’y arrivent pas. Certains adorent tout prévoir, d’autres ne le supportent pas. On ne peut pas vraiment aller contre sa nature je crois.
Par contre, j’ai une question bête, à celles qui sortent tout le temps et ne supportent pas de ne rien avoir de précis à faire: mais, euh, vous lisez quand? Je veux dire, des livres, pas des magazines? Il me semble que c’est bien plus grave de rater un livre qu’une énième soirée à entendre des banalités. Non?
Great post, I totally agree
http://www.sassique.com
Bravo pour ce post et cette honnêteté Garance. Savoir rester seule et l’apprécier s’apprend. Plus ou moins difficilement, mais au final c’est un gain inestimable pour soi et sa vie.
Je vous embrasse.
Ca me fait vraiment de la peine de te voir comme ça …J’adore te lire “c’est mon 2eme comm”…Mais la, dans tes derniers posts on voit et surtout on sent ta douleur et ta souffrance ( Ce qui est tout a fait normal —je ss déja passée par la!!).
Bon courage et retrouve vite ta joie de vivre !!
BIZ
La seule fois que j’ai habité seule, j’ai souvent dîné d’une tablette de chocolat avant de me mettre des séries sous la couette à 18H et de retaper dans le taboulé vers 23H. Je suis aussi allée danser avec mes amies tous les soirs et la boum du dimanche soir qui ne devait être qu’un apéro se transformait en véritable culte du dance-floor voué aux années 80 et 90 (comment ça il est 4H du mat’ ? Comment ça je bosse à 8H demain ? Meuhhh noooon). Bref, encore un super article, so authentique. Et qui est tellement le vécu partagé des …moments solitude. Bravo. Merci.
Dear Garance today I stumbled upon an article on minimalism on the website intomind.com, maybe you already know this site. “It’s (I quote) clean, refreshing and the opposite of chaos. It gives a deep sense of calm that you wouldn’t find in most of the varied internet pages filled with excess (not yours of course!;-). This is a way of life and what a peaceful way it is”.
Check out the article if you like, it could be really helpful. http://intomind.com/2014/10/27/minimalism-a-beginners-guide/
Judith
BEATA SOLITUDO, SOLA BEATITUDO
(Franciscan cloister in the little island of San Francesco del Deserto, Venice lagoon)
Exactly! I love this…. it’s so true. I hate this glorification of busy… busy with being busy…. staying busy because you don’t want to face your fears…Pfff!
I understand your dilemma! My situation was different…I lived alone for a year and a half after my marriage of 28 years ended. I was terribly lonely, but absolutely loved living alone at the same time! Now having just celebrated 10 years of marriage to my second husband, at times I absolutely CRAVE alone time, and revel in it when I get it!
You will find the right balance for yourself…until then, force yourself to say No on occasion, and stay home and re-group!
Tu n’es pas censé écrire un livre? :)
J’aime beaucoup ces billets d’humeur ! surtout continue … c’est ce qui humanise ton blog et le rend si attachant.
Je suis allée à New-York pour la première fois la semaine dernière et je comprends maintenant cette sensation dynamique dont on parle tant ! Même la démarche des gens semble plus énergique qu’en France. J’ai adoré !
Ah moi c’est mon reve actuellement de me retrouver seule pendant au moin un soir sinon quelques jours seraient ideals, dans un espace a moi, prendre du recul, lire reflechir… buller quoi! Mais c’est malheureusement impossible… Je suis toujourd Busy!!! et je n’aime plus dutout ce concept! Trop de boulot et d’obligations quotidiennes….c’est malsain au bout de plusieurs annees…
J’adore tes posts, tu es fraiche tu as du talent et t’es geniale! laisses toi respirer des que tu peux.
Bisous
YEAH !!!
http://www.kitschissime.com/
“La capacité d’être seul” Winnicott.
Désolée pour l’esprit de sérieux…
Bah faut arrêter la coke ! ha ha je plaisante ! Seule, en couple ou en compagnie, on est toujours un peu seule, il faut l’admettre. Ce n’est pas cynique ce que je dis, c’est juste un état de fait. On est seule face à ses choix, seule dans ses réflexions, seule avec ses contradictions, seule avec ses doutes, seule avec son corps. Une fois que l’on comprend ça, on devient bien plus doux et tolérant avec son entourage (mec, enfants, parents, amis,…) parce que l’on attend pas d’eux qu’ils viennent combler toutes les attentes que l’on place dans la vie. Nous seules avons les réponses à nos questions. Les gens ont souvent peur de se retrouver face à eux mêmes car ils ne veulent pas avoir à se poser ces questions et préfèrent fuir. Bon après c’est génial aussi de partager des moments avec nos amis. :-)
Great photo of you in the Wall Street journal this weekend. Like how a personality who has become a public one still has intimate blog entries like this. Another one that is tout juste! Even outside of New York, why do we all have t be STRESSED and BUSY all the time? Does it mean we are more important? Does it mean we are following some puritanical ideal to be unhappy now, rewarded in the afterlife? Does it mean we are winning at life (your words)? Why in the U.S. is it such a shock to take a whole entire two week summer vacation or to have no weekend plans? It feels renegade to say I have nothing going on. A kind of freedom. Like I am brave enough pour affronter la solitude, comme tu le dis. (Sorry, read your posts in French!)
‘Mieux vaut etre seule que mal accompagnee’…..
Revelation..tu es Carrie de Sex And The City en fait!
I have noooo problems whatsoever to hang out at home and do nothing at all. I enjoy making plans with friends, but I also enjoy having my alone time. Maybe it’s because I am an only child and grew up being alone a lot with two working parents, but I know that having too many social plans drains me. It may, however, also have to do with the location. I am sure Vancouver isn’t as exciting as NYC ;-)
Repose. Yoga showed me that repose is the counterbalance to doing. I live alone and I feel energised creatively by it. Garance, do you have that collage on your wall ?
Think of Karl Lagerfeld (http://www.afr.com/p/lifestyle/afrmagazine/chanel_king_karl_on_why_coco_would_QdAquSd0mzosuiiB4sWcxO). For him solitude is kind of luxury – definitely! and essential for creative people – I’m not sure. Probably it depends on your personality. Andy Warhol-remember his factory in NYC-was quite the opposite. But no one enjoys solitude in the meaning of isolation, that’s what we are scared of best described in Marlen Haushofer, le muir invisible (http://www.lemurinvisible-lefilm.com/roman.html#roman).
This is so true! Although, since I’ve been depressed and been to therapy, I am MUCH more willing (in fact, I demand) to live life at my own pace. And whoever likes it… :)
C’est assez étrange de s’adresser à quelqu’un virtuellement.
C’est déjà un début de solitude et l’exercice n’est pas qu’agréable.
A causer dans le vide, je vais faire gaffe que l’ombre de mon narcissisme ne vienne pas pointer son nez…
Tu sais Garance, je t’adooore.
La première fois que je me suis intéressée à ton travail, c’était pour tes illustrations et puis je suis tombée sur ton blog et là je me suis laissée prendre au jeu.
Je me suis mise à te suivre, à parcourir la blogosphère, à acheter quelques bouquins sur le sujet et même à réaliser un blog.
J’ai aimé ta capacité à professionnaliser le «blog», à le rendre moins amateur tout en le gardant artisanal. A toi seule, tu as réalisé le travail d’une équipe rédactionnelle.
J’écume la presse pour des raisons professionnelles, par plaisir et je lis Garance Doré.
Prendre le temps de boire un café et ouvrir ta page, c’est un peu comme tirer une taffe pour un fumeur ou lire son horoscope, c’est un moment de douce frivolité.
J’apprécie ton esthétisme défini et maîtrisé, ton approche positive, bienveillante et réjouissante de la mode et surtout j’aime ta manière d’y glisser finement de l’introspection.
J’avais envie de remercier virtuellement l’énergisante, la malicieuse, la déterminée et sensible Garance. Ne serais-tu pas l’incarnation d’un nouveau féminisme ? Une Macha Béranger du Modes et Travaux, alliant habilement le cashmere à l’intime. (ok, j’aurais pu trouver plus glamour et je vais un peu loin).
Je conclue donc ce courrier virant à la lettre de groupie par le thème du post.
Marquer une pause n’est pas forcément s’installer dans la solitude, c’est peut être s’octroyer le droit de reprendre son souffle après un 100 mètres. (PS, excuse-moi, suis pas sûre que cette phrase est un sens mais qu’elle soit pompeuse, certainement)
Bisous et à toute l’équipe
Heavens, Garance, you need to heed the advice of your countryman, Pascal, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” (And he did not mean with a laptop.)
I am married and not alone much, as my husband and I both freelance from home. But my husband (whose company I adore, by the way) does go away occasionally–once a year for a month–and I love being home alone. I don’t call anyone; just lie low. When I was younger I craved popularity.No longer.
Je suis assez “choquée” (surprise plutôt) par un grand nombre de commentaires qui ramènent la question de la solitude VS la busy attitude à une question de statut marital : que des femmes éduquées, cultivées voient les choses de façon si étriquée en 2014, WAOUH….ça me fait encore plus peur que les déguisements d’Halloween :)
Moi, je pense que tout est une question de pression sociale. On accorde bien trop d’importance au regard des autres. On veut faire “comme tout le monde”, être “in”. Etre célib et n’avoir aucune activité pour le weekend, c’est passer pour une hasbeen, une “pôv fille”. Cependant, ce n’est évidemment pas un ressenti naturel. C’est ce qu’on ressent parce qu’on a intégré des “normes” imposées par les autres, normes qu’on a faites siennes machinalement – et sans s’en rendre compte bien entendu. En gros, “l’enfer, c’est les autres!” nous sommes d’accord, et les autres sont d’autant plus diaboliques qu’ils sont présents dans nos vies de façon insidieuse : on ne les voit pas, on ne sait pas exactement qui ils sont, mais ils sont assez puissants pour qu’on en arrive à vouloir modeler notre existence en fonction d’eux ! Les monstres d’Halloween, là encore…c’est de la nioniotte à côté ! ;)
L’homme d’aujourd’hui cherche par tous les moyens à ce que rien ne détruise son impression de bonheur. Avoir un planning bien rempli relève souvent – mais pas toujours, ne soyons pas cynique – de cette stratégie.
Pour reprendre les mots de Garance au sujet de L, “se retrouver seul, c’est se retrouver face à soi-même”. Si on a perdu ce “soi-même” en chemin ou qu’on l’a trop calqué sur les autres, pas étonnant alors qu’on se retrouve face à un grand sentiment de vide.
L’idéal : être occupé par ce que l’on aime et lézarder comme on l’entend !
Bon…l’idéal coûte cher, je dois retourner bosser :(
Just in time : FOMO versus JOMO. Check it out.
http://www.arte.tv/guide/fr/051477-019/yourope
J’adore ce genre d’articles Garance! Tu écris tellement bien
Xx
http://www.Lauralexo.com
you’ve changed so much Garance…wow