8 years ago by
The other day, it was gorgeous outside—cool and sunny, the perfect weather for walking to the Studio, the perfect weather for finally wearing…
My mules for the first time.
Well let me tell you right away, it was probably also the last time.
Mules just weren’t invented for walking.
The thing is, they’re pretty comfortable, my mules. And since they’re the perfect springtime accessory — for that time when you’re not quite ready to fully expose your feet, but you still want to say hello to the rays of sun trying to break through.
Even though as much as you love fashion and trends and all, deep down you might wonder why anyone would want to show their heel. Is your heel pretty? Really? Which part, exactly?
So the attraction to mules probably lies elsewhere. It’s all in the attitude, the “woman so chill she doesn’t need a job”, or her job is something like influencer or DJ who goes to bed early, or chef specialized in juices extracted from the dirt at Burning Man. A girl so comfortable with herself, she folded up the heel of her moccasins. So rich that she’s thrilled to mess up her Gucci’s. A girl like us, basically.
But anyway. No need to look for an explanation. It’s fashion. So we like it!
My mules and I made it down all five floors of my building with no trouble. Once I was in the street, I was feeling super proud of myself, and my slightly clenched feet (if you don’t clench, the mule slips off, so you have two options: either clench your feet with every step, or walk like you’re wearing babouches (mules are just a babouche disguised as city shoes, as we all know) in other words—slowly, slightly dragging your feet, and like a duck, which is an art form my Moroccan uncle Mimmoun mastered with such grace that my sister and I named another shoe after him: the Mimmouna. I might tell you about it one day (if you’re nice)) didn’t seem like much of a problem to me.
The problem is, I’m a New Yorker.
I don’t walk slowly and I never drag my feet because, like any self-respecting city girl:
1) I’m in a hurry.
2) I’m burning calories.
3) No one walks slowly in New York, not even tourists.
So I chose option number one: toe clenching. Ten minutes later, I’d already had four cramps. And I still had twenty minutes to go before reaching my destination: Studio Doré.
After those first ten minutes, I ran into another problem: a slight issue with foot climate control. Of course, I wasn’t wearing Gucci mules made out of fur, but a simple version made of soft leather. Even so: I suddenly had hot feet and cold heels. I started sweating a little bit in the leather (ew, sorry)(someone has to tell the truth, though)(and no, my feet don’t usually sweat) so naturally, I started sliding around in them.
At that point, I had to take my clenching up two notches, so my cramps went from slight to severe, but it still wasn’t enough to keep the shoes on.
I also started to drag my feet a little, because if I didn’t, the mule would continue its trajectory without me and go flying six feet in front of me.
The Mule, or How to Transform a Nice Walk into a Ridiculous Disaster.
Still headed toward what had now become my idea of the holy grail, my final destination, the Studio, I started to feel the secondary effects of the obnoxious hot foot problem: my feet were starting to swell a little bit. And sure, now you might say: Perfect! You’ve got plenty of room for swelling in a mule! To which I would respond: Yes! All you have to do is slide your foot out slightly and boom! You’re suddenly super comfortable. Your heel is walking on the dirty dirty NYC floor but hey! You already lost every battle at this point anyway.
Because at that point, five minutes from my goal, with depressed feet and sweat on my brow, the worst thing happened: I saw my reflection in a window.
My half-limping (foot dragging), half-stick-up-the-ass (toe clenching), duck method (you can’t help but end up looking like a duck) (disapproving sigh from Carine Roitfeld, Queen of the pigeon toe pose) – in a pair of shoes that already made my feet look a size bigger in good conditions, now with my heel hanging out the back, made me look like a Hobbit, because Hobbits have enormous shoes and a weird walk.
That was the end of my mule adventures.
Once I got to the Studio, I tried to persevere (maybe they’re great to wear indoors, like slippers!) because you should always give everything a second chance (except Zoolander 2) but seriously, no, no no no.
Really, no thank you. The mule was lost on me somewhere between Bleecker and Broome, so close to reaching my goal.
I’ll keep them under my desk to make me look like a relaxed heel girl, like Mark Zuckerberg in his pool shoes, but classier.
But for walking, no way. I’m in a hurry.
Translated by Andrea Perdue
Second classic summer shoe that has failed the practiality test. No espadrilles, no mules & I can add no jellies (foot sweat even with cute socks: always was always will be) and the ultimate verdict is not in on flip flops. Oh dear.
we want to see pictures of you in the mules, garance! :)
http://littleaesthete.com/
why no to espadrilles? I find them some of the most confortable shoes ever
Espadrilles are comfortable, especially the platform ones. But I never wear mules or slides, or those silly moroccan sandals.I hate the way people walk in backless hoes, like they are shuffling, as if on medication. I only wear sandals that cover the heel, and have straps. Specifically because I like to be able to run. Personally, I don’t think mules or slingbacks look good on anyone.
Salut Garance
l’article est génial, ça faisait longtemps que je n’avais pas ri comme ça. Moi qui fantasmais sur une paire de mules Zara, je vais me raviser ou m’en acheter des moins chers pour mon intérieur (ma chambre étudiante de 12 m2)
Gros bisous à tout le Studio Doré <3
ahah j’imagine parfaitement le tableau avec la démarche ! :) je pense que je ne pourrais pas faire mieux (voire pire) !
bisous Garance
Mido.
http://www.bowsome.com/
Oui c’est le problème avec les modes faites par des femmes qui ne marchent pas, ou juste le temps de sortir de la voiture avec chauffeur pour aller à un défilé. Ainsi en est-il des très hauts talons sur chaussure effilée, comme des jambes nues en toute saison. Quand va-t-on réhabiliter le collant chair qui permet aux péquenaudes comme moi de porter une robe en hiver, robe qui ne va pas forcément avec un collant noir? D’autant que les années passant, depuis que la susnommée Carine Roitfeld a lancé cette mode en France, les genoux de ces dames se sont plissés. Et ce qu’on voit de leurs jambes nues en front row n’est pas toujours génial.
haha j’adore!!! ;)
hahaha – I have always wondered how people walk around in those. Thank you for illuminating me and confirming my suspicions — the clenching! I knew it!
And weren’t you afraid that someone stepped on your foot from behind and tore your mule apart? I don’t know if I’m explaining myself, but I’m always afraid of that situation when I wear sandals / mules. Well, THE time I wore mules because as you have made clear, they are so uncomfortable!!! They make you think they are super easy but no, they lie!
xx,
E.
http://www.theslowpace.com
Hobbits don’t wear shoes :)
Right?!
Hahaha! That’s what I thought! That also might be the solution! Embrace your inner Bilbo.
Super bien écrit ! On vit le truc avec toi…
Thank you – I thought I was the only one with this mule problem! Sizing up will help a bit, but nothing can solve a sweaty foot…
By the way, my Malaysian uncle has also perfected this walk from wearing flip slops, exclusively. Less stylish than babouches, but same swagger.
Je me souviens d’un épisode similaire alors que j’étais étudiante à Montpellier. Chaleur +++ en juillet, combinée à l’achat de mules à bout pointu (j’ai une excuse, c’était en 2002) et aux petites rues à la fois pavées et parfois pentues du centre = impossible d’aller plus loin que la boulangerie du coin. J’ai acheté une paire de sandales en cuir le lendemain. Mon père en revanche a développé une technique qui lui est propre et lui permet de passer l’été en espadrilles (des vraies, cousues à la main au pays basque, pas des CHANEL en cuir!) avec le talon replié et sans marcher en canard. Un secret des hommes du sud??
Make the goddesses of fashion smile on you for telling the truth, Garance. This is why we all love you so! I have been eyeing a certain pair of “slippers” for the longest time. So chic, so cool. Of course, if I wore them, everyone would know who they were by and ergo, that I was also chic and cool. However, like you, I walk fast and am also married to a man who is 6’3, so there is no strolling. Thank you for helping me to be officially over them and will move on to the next fashion conundrum in my life…what ever that may be.
I live in Toronto & walk everywhere. I bless the day Birkenstocks became a fashion accessory. No more blisters and achy feet. Keep your feet pedicured with a great polish and put on your birds and you’ll never take them off:)
Oh Garance you have made me laugh so much as I could imagine you dragging and clenching your feet and I too have been there :(
I really believe there needs to be a maximum distance one travels in Mules.
For me its about 200 metres without breaking into a sweat or aching feet.
xx J
Sinon il y a les mules a talons ouvertes sur les orteils j’en ai une paire et ça va on s’en sort pas trop mal, mais c’est clair qu’il faut pas marcher pendant des heures!
Garance,
Rien à voir avec le post ci-dessus… ;)
Je viens juste d’acheter votre livre, et, il est génial.
Bonne continuation.
Céline
We try to wear the cute feminine sexy shoe all day long and it’s almost always a disaster!! But we forget and do it all over again in a different sexy shoe! Again, disaster. We are a little insane when it comes to shoes!
J’ai porte des mules dans les annees 70 et je me souviens du crispage d’orteils……
Cet article est du pur Garance ! J’ai ri de bon coeur comme cela ne m’etait pas arrive depuis……le dernier post de G aussi hilarant.
J’adore le paragraphe sur la Mimmouna ! :-)
I actually laughed incredibly hard reading this because of how relatable it was. I have a pair of Aska Collection mules and have to say they’re incredible comfortable and don’t give me any of these issues! The key to mules I find (especially if you want to walk everywhere in them) is going for a lightweight style in a thin leather. If they’re heavy – they fall off instantly if you don’t clench and have NO breathability! I have one heavy pair reserved strictly for events because of that issue.. Walk.. walk… sit. You know the deal.
Merci, merci, merci ! Qu’est-ce que j’ai rigolé ! Ce post a illuminé mon après-midi, je suis en larme tellement j’ai ri !
Et qu’est ce que ça fait du bien quelqu’un du monde de la mode dise enfin les choses tel quel.
Les Mimmouna : c’est pour quand ?
Je viens justement m’acheter un paire de mules marocaines (1/10eme su prix de celles de chez Acne- olé), pour l instant je les porte chez moi car j ai l impression que mon pied flotte dedans! Du coup la j ai encore moins envie de les porter dehors, mais bon, j ai déja fait des pire choses pour paraitre cool ;)
These are flat mules right ??? The Gucci ones? Nooooooo sooooo funny everyone is wearing them and feeling like this! Thanks for being the only one to say it!
I think with heels they might be ok
haha ???????? that was fun to read
I’ve never looked at a mule and thought, “I should wear those.” lmao. Loved the story. Great ending.
http://www.dressupchowdown.com
I know. They are pretty, but more like architecture, less like shoe.
Dear, dear Garance, terrific candor – as always! – on a highly needed subject. Please don’t subject your feet to long-term possibility of bunions through wearing shoes that aren’t meant to be walked in. Years of doing so in my younger days (read: pre-45) has left me with an ugly bunion that now makes me so self-conscious. :<<
There’s a time and place for everything, even mules. But not when you have to walk much. Kind of like with heels, but they hurt in a different way.
Cette franchise te sauvera de tous tes péchés (non que tu en aies, mais au cas où)!
En voyant quelques photos récentes, je me demandais justement comment tu marchais avec ces jolies mules. Maintenant je sais.
Il y a pas mal d’années, j’ai eu un souci du même ordre avec des sabots, ces authentiques sabots hollandais que tout le monde portait. Impossible de faire plus de deux pas. A croire que j’avais des pieds anormaux, sans orteils ou sans talons, ou pas de pieds du tout…
Comme pantoufles chic ou pour les soirées statiques, tes mules feront toujours de l’effet.
Sinon, faut faire comme Julia Roberts : marcher pieds nus!
Oh dear :D But I have to tell you I once gave myself a nasty tendonitis doing something like this! Never again :)
Ah, ben moi j’ai eu de la chance, je viens d’en acheter une paire chez Urban Outfitters pas chères et super comodes (Violet Black Mules), Elles prennent plus le pied que le modèle que tu “linkes”. La seule chose sur laquelle je suis d’accord c’est la chaleur au bout d’un moment, ouf!
Mouahahha! J’ai une paire de mules à talons depuis…pfff… disons 20 ans. Trop belles.
Et pile dans la tendance 70’s, cool, de cette année.
20 ans qu’elles sont dans mon placard parce que je n’arrive pas à marcher avec, exactement pour toutes les raisons citées ici.
Faudrait peut être que j’accepte enfin que ce problème n’est pas que le mien.
Et les talons à la maison, non merci, j’ai des voisins en dessous…
Tu m’as trop faire rire!
I was wearing such a cute pair comme babouches that I bought in Paris many years ago. I remembered them and that they would go beautifully with a newish isabel marant shirt. But my feet also got hot inside the shoe the more I walked blocks and blocks. and I had not quite but almost a blister on the bottom of my foot at the end of the day. They are for going out to dinner or a party or lounging and not really for walking. still they’re unique and pretty so i think i’ll paint them for my instagram today but not wear them.
I know most fashion people live in New York at some point, but based on the shoe choices for ladies, I often wonder if all the footwear decision makers live in LA. So many ladies shoes are impractical for anybody who isn’t driving/driven each place they go. Suede winter boots make sense for LA, but are dumb for anybody who has a rainy or slushy winter. You can bring shoes to change into at work, but carrying a giant bag on a rush hour subway is not a treat. I am happy the younger generations and athleisure are nudging footwear into a slightly more practical, walkable place.
C’est pour des postes comme ça que je t’adore Garance! Quel sens de l’humour, de la formule, de l’image, de l’autodérision! Bravo !
Je ris encore car je m’imagine complètement dans la situation, essayant de garder le semblant de dignité qui te reste face à une mode qui a toute emprise sur nos pieds! Merci pour cet article hilarant!
Oh que oui, que ce n’est pas pratique les mules. Je compatis… C’est le genre de godasse que j’ai supprimé de mon vestiaire tellement que je ne pouvais pas marcher avec !
My mom use to swear them everyday…She make it look so effortless…..
And shin splints from raising your toes slightly with every step to keep the shoes on.
I always have a shoe problem! The ones that look good are never practical. :(
https://sofaundermapletree.wordpress.com
I absolutely adore this post. Mules are so hard to walk in!! I’m so glad someone has finally pointed that out. Always enjoy reading your writing. xx
http://www.fashionsensored.com
Bravo Bravo Bravo !!!!
Très drôle !!!!
Your article was very funny! I really like it. I am 27, and I’ve given up on pretty but unconfortable/unwalkable shoes. Why wear pretty shoes if you can’t do anything in it? I feel this is where fashion is losing me, when shoes, which are supposed to help me walk, actually prevent me from doing so… cheers :)
Vraiment très drôle , on a tous un oncle Mimmoun ! Moi c’était mon grand père qui trainait des pieds dans ses mules, ( qu’il avait la prudence de ne porter qu’à l’intérieur, lui) et je reconnaîtrais le bruit de ses pas entre mille, c’est d’ailleurs avec beaucoup de tendresse qu’il m’arrive d’y repenser… Merci Garance pour cette bonne rigolade !
Enough about mules, yuck! Isn’t it time for a hair update? I love to keep up with people who change their hair all the time, like me.
Wonderfully honest. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes.
The best way to wear mules/babouches is on your keychain. Seriously, I bought a keychain in a street fair in Barcelona once that had a tiny little leather babouche on it. Love that.
Trop drole!!!
I’ve been waiting for someone to point this out – they are so impractical to actually walk in, and are not really flattering! Merci Garance! (tho I’m sorry you had to walk in the shoes to find out – walking down steps is also ridiculous, in my experience!)
j adore !!! trop drole , tellement authentique ! a l image de votre livre …
donc ces mules resteront un accessoire à ne pas porter , ou juste pour la photo et , sans surprise !
This really made me laugh. Great piece. I have yet to bust out the pair I bought a few months ago.
I’m assuming they were full heels and not kittens. I still have my awesome Prada kitten heel mules from the ’80’s and I could walk all over with no problem for blocks!
You have to look for the shape that propels your foot forward (so no toe clenching)
Walking in them is kinda like walking in flip flops.
But – you are right and finding chic and COMFORTABLE shoes in NYC is job #1.
I just snorted with laughter in the office. Funniest thing I’ve read for ages. I hope you are going to write a half hour comedy series about the REAL world of fashion. x
How funny, Garance! In the words of Ogden Nash, “In a world of mules there are no rules.”. xo
OH dear, this made me laugh so hard! We laugh so hard because you are so funny and what you speak of is so true, and because we, too, have walked (not quite – but it definitely felt like) a mile in your (mule) shoes.
I’ve had one pair of flat mules, and unfortunately worn them to uni, thinking how carefree I must have looked that summer’s day. Like you, after ten minutes of foot-clenching, cramps and sweating, I swore I would never again choose form over function. If I’d had another spare pair of shoes in my car, I would have turned back and changed into the not-mules pair; but I didn’t, and it was my exams that day, with running around/sliding about in my mules/waddling awkwardly to last-minute tutorials to get my exam-act together, so I couldn’t even drive home to change. In Australia, loads of students were walking around barefoot back then (yep, at uni! Not sure about now, it’s been a long time – so I hope not), and although I loathe that habit, I almost – almost! – joined them.
Other variations of the mules I’ve tried/been forced into were:
(1) a very funky (like backless Jesus sandals), cheap ($2), handmade, all leather pair I wore in India (I don’t know why I thought they’d be more comfortable than the ones I’d worn – once – to uni: they weren’t, and it was heaps filthier along the roads in India than Australia. so…) for a week when we were at an Ashram and had to take our shoes off every single time we went inside (bliss!), in between shuffling along the roads for half an hour between our rooms and the Ashram (horrible).
(2) the only mules I ever kept on my feet, which were heeled ones that I was forced to wear for my brother’s wedding (as a very reluctant bridesmaid) ,and which pushed my feet forward due to the heel height, so that there was no way I would slide out, but which killed my right knee permanently (with all my weight tilted awkwardly forward).
Mules are a pain – as are espadrilles for me, with that horrible rough jute giving me blisters, and the cloth uppers rubbing away at all my toes. Even the groovy leather Valentino espadrilles hurt my feet like mad, in much the same way ballerina flats are agony with my toes all scrunched up (regardless of the too-soft-for-me upper leathers).
I’m with one your other readers, who swears by Birks in summer for uncovered feet… only my Birks aren’t even the slip- on version either: they’re the ones with the dowdy, unbelievably unsexy back-strap. Very science teacher, very comfortable.
haaaa! the things we do for fashion – love it! great post
I loved this story as much as I dislike mules. I used to wear them the last time they were en vogue (late 90’s??). Mind you, I was a student back then and I couldn’t afford anything from Gucci, so my mules were some no-name creatures. Seemed very comfortable and practical. Unless you had to walk. So, being a reasonable (ahahaha!!) adult now, I stick to my loafers, pumps and trainers. Just waiting for the mules to fall into fashion hibernation for another 20 years.
I loved reading this story about the mules. Its refreshing to read an honest account of a fashion trend that in reality is impractical – in this case mules – while all the other fashion bloggers post endless elegant photos of their designer ‘must-have’ mules, fooling themselves (and everyone else) that you can actually walk in them with any sense of style and grace!
En effet, mieux vaut garder ses mules pour le week-end ou les vacances mais certainement pas pour courir en ville !
Dear Garance
I read your post. Then, I don’t know why, your post gave me the urge to look at the definition of mules in the dictionnary ” Chaussure légère d’appartement laissant le talon découvert. ” So I re-read your post and laughed so much, out loud again. Thank you so much for making my day.
Ha, ha, ha, so funny! I have the same issues with clogs….
ah ah ,on fait quoi alors?
on reste chez soi et on ne va mules part?
Merci de dire les choses tel qu’elles sont,plus le temps passe et plus j’ai du mal a ne pas faire du confort mon premier critere,surtout au niveau des pieds.Apres ,biensur…il faut savoir resister a toutes les tentations…la ,ca devient plus dur!
bonne journee.
Haha ! Ça me rappelle mes galères avec les tongs… Le pire niveau chaussure ça a été l’année où je m’étais persuadée que je ne faisais pas du 37 mais du 36… J’ai passé un an avec un budget pansement exhorbitamt..
xxx
Irène
http://www.cookinginjune.com
merci pour le fou rire de bon matin !
Tu habites au cinquième étage et pas d’ascenceur ???
Quelle galère pour remonter les achats etc…
hahaha! hilarious! thank you, garance, for this!
exactly my experience. i even tried to stop the flying phenomenon by using talcum powder on my feet but it only had the effect that with every step i took white dust clouds evaporated from my shoes. after quite a few embarassing mule-flying-in-front-of-me moments i have decided to pass on this shoe hype.
Ha ha ha! I think the trick is to get a mule with a heel. I have the Sophie slide by MNZ and they stay on my feet and are comfortable. Also-they are tight so your feet don’t slide around in them-no clenching.
But you are right about the flat. Also-they are not flattering! The d’orsay slides have a similar look but more comfortable and flattering.
hahaha I saw a girl wearing these furry Gucci mule the other day in Soho and I felt sorry for her.. The way you describe it is totally accurate!
Ha ha ha , tu m’as bien fait rire ! Mais c’est exactement ça ! Tu te rappelles , il y a une vingtaine d’années, c’était la mode des mules. Quelle galère ! Impossible de marcher avec. Avec des talons, tu n’as pas besoin de criper tes orteils pour qu’elles tiennent mais tu souffres autant. Et c’est claire , on transpire dedans. Glamour !
hahahahha!! je veux quand même les Gucci (sans la fourrure) cuir noir et avec les fleurs!!! Mais elles sont introuvables maintenant… C’est de celles-ci dont tu parles ou des Rodriguez?
Haaaa Gucci Gucci Gucci…. Tu connais le Gucci Gang? sympa hein… Vogue a fait un article sur elles récemment ce serait cool d’en parler façon G D Studio ;)
Des nouveaux rapports à la mode qu’on les kids, la manière de consommer façon communauté via des groupes Facebook ou sur instagram.. Lors de l’ouverture de la boutique Supreme à Paris, on a discuté avec des jeunes (pour le taff) entre 15 et 18 ans, qui nous disait que leurs marques préférées étaient Comme des, Kolor, Rick Owens… Si jeunes! en demandant comment ils connaissaient ces marques là, ils nous répondaient que c’était grâce aux collabs! avec Converse ou Adidas… et ne connaissaient rien d’autre. (Pour eux Comme des Garçons était la marque avec le coeur seulement…)
C’est fou comme les collabs, surtout streetwear, influencent les jeunes et les amène à connaître des marques comme celles-ci.
Ce serait cool d’en parler! ;)
Bisou
Lovely Post :)
http://www.angelmstyle.com
When I was in college in late 90’s I had the best pair of flat square toe mules in dark grey leather!
They literally went with everything!
I wore them all the time and the were super comfy after I broke them! To this days still my favorite shoe out of all the shoes that I owned and own! I think I still have them in storage and wondering if I should take them out as they were still in pretty decent condition last time I saw them few years ego! Kids will be uber jealous!
Clogs on the other hand…Brrr
LOLOLOL !!!! xoxo
Ay, ay, ay!
He had always dreamed of walking all day in heels like girls in New York. Never I thought that spending summers walking my espardrilles as mules would be an art!…
Mediterranean is a style of life!
That was so hilarious…. been there myself!!!!
Really enjoy your writing Garance…..
J’ai lu tellement vite que j’ai cru que tu nous parlais de “God in photo” ;-)
Thank you Garance for telling us the truth about mules.I was curious and I was thinking to buy one pair for spring.But now no, I’ ll pass and stick to flats!
HAHAHA!
Yes! Reminds me of the time I visited and walked around New York last time mules were in fashion… I ended up with horrible blisters and, finally, a broken strap that mercifully required me to retire them.
Ah, lala, trop drôle. Tout le monde n’a pas la chance d’avoir des mules Chanel…Et quand je pense que j’ai même considéré un instant m’en séparer…Celles-ci sont super: aucun problème pour marcher http://modadiandrea.blogspot.com/2016/05/black-beige-chanel.html
Aw, come on, Garance. Zealander 2 was lots of fun! Have a couple of champagnes first and give it another try.
great article I really like it and going to repost it on my new blog
Illustration is really awesome i kept on watching this for few minutes. really great chose of colors/