DORÉ

AMELIA: should we talk egg freezes? Where do we begin?

VERONICA: Well… YOU JUST GOT ENGAGED. That’s one place. Because I feel like that might shift the conversation pertaining to your fallopian tubes?

AMELIA: It definitely does. I turn 37 in a couple weeks. So, if I was single, I would be looking into freezing my eggs. But now that I’m committed and have my person, I’m thinking I have some time to make this happen. We never talked practically about freezing eggs. But, I was very honest with him about wanting to have kids. And there’s a time limit

VERONICA: The time limit that runs the world…

AMELIA: Yes! And in the beginning, I really resented him and his lack of clock

VERONICA: You know the Beyonce, “Who runs the world” schtick. You know, who runs women? Their fertility. So, technically, fertility runs the world

AMELIA: It’s so true! I hate how the pressure looms over our head. Naveen is four years older than me–so he’s in his 40s–but he doesn’t feel the pressure at all. And that’s not fair.

VERONICA: Yes, men still have zero accountability in keeping the species alive. It’s our weird clock that screams MUST PUT A BABY IN ME

AMELIA: I always tell him, the longer he waits the more confused his sperm become. But, I don’t know if that’s scientifically true. I just want him to feel some pressure

VERONICA: But the other problem is, since they feel no pressure in their 30s, they surge ahead in their career, make the money, then have a kid at 45, and get it all

AMELIA: Preach.

VERONICA: And in our 30s, we are trying to juggle everything, and make the biggest life change by bringing a new life into the mix. It’s too much! I really believe the idea of egg freezing could do just as much for women as what birth control did back in the day.

AMELIA: Absolutely

VERONICA: BUT… men should pay for half, like pay higher health insurance to subsidize it or something

AMELIA: And employers should have more responsibility

VERONICA: Totally. Because we are postponing birthing a human in order to work for them. So, it’s only beneficial for them to support it

AMELIA: I’ve heard that there are some companies that pay for egg freezing

VERONICA: I love that. Because let’s talk about how it is so expensive, and therefore, for the elite. Many women can’t afford to map out their lives in a way that will benefit
themselves.

AMELIA: My brother knows a woman who’s a successful TV writer. And she was actually thinking of getting a job at starbucks for the egg perks! In cities like NYC, SF and LA, I believe it costs like 15K to harvest eggs. Is that about right?

VERONICA: I believe so. I did not do my research before this convo, per usual, before getting on this soapbox

AMELIA: Have you thought about freezing your eggs or discussed it with Ty?

VERONICA: He doesn’t want kids, so the egg freezing won’t do much one way or another. BUT, I do like the idea of the back up plan–that if shit hits the fan and I’m 39 and single, I can maybe fall back on those eggs. I watch some women choose huge life things all based on the end goal of a child and i wish they wouldn’t. I wish we had more examples of collectively raising kids. Instead of spending 75k on a wedding because one must be married to have kids, even though one hasn’t been to church in 10 years…

AMELIA: Yes!! Totally

VERONICA: But we’re lemurs so we only know that path

AMELIA: That is so bizarre to me… people who live completely untraditional lives but then are like, well we’ve gotta do the garter toss and buy a $3K cake!!!

VERONICA: I blame social media. Like if you don’t take a picture of it, then did it happen? Did you actually love someone?

AMELIA: Someone said to me recently, “You never post love-y pics with your boyfriend! I didn’t even know it was serious!”

VERONICA: The death of civilization is believing everything we see on social media.

AMELIA: I always think about how people would react if tomorrow facebook/instagram announced they were shutting down. I think I’d be relieved

VERONICA: OH SO RELIEVED. Wait, this is a great short story. You should write this — great Black Mirror episode.

AMELIA: Oh my god, can I go on an egg-cation with you when you freeze your eggs?

VERONICA: UM YES

AMELIA: Do you know women do that? So apparently, if you get a group of women to freeze their eggs together, some places will drop the price. It’s like getting egg freezing in bulk. So, a group of friends will go to the Caribbean and freeze their eggs, and stay in nice hotel rooms and get massages. And all do the deed together

VERONICA: But, are your eggs then stored in the Caribbean??

AMELIA: Hmmm… maybe. I’d be so jealous of my eggs… thinking about them floating on a lazy river, sipping piña coladas…

VERONICA: Can I take them in my carry-on? I’d feel better about having my eggs on the same continent as me

AMELIA: Imagine TSA being like, “What’s in here?”

VERONICA: My future children.

AMELIA: Are they floating in 3oz of liquid or less?

VERONICA: We’re doing this. It’s an egg-date.

AMELIA: I’m egg-citing (dad joke). I mean “egg-cited!” God, I even ruined my dad joke.