New Me
8 years ago by
Where’s the fucking rock? Seriously where’s the fucking roll?
Ooops, sorry for the language. But wait, you’ll understand where I’m going with this in just a second.
I’ve told you again and again and again—right now I’m changing. It’s good, it’s great, I feel like it’s for the best. But nothing has ever scared me more.
It’s like entire layers of my personality are crumbling away, and I’m not too sure what I’m going to find underneath.
My personality. It definitely wasn’t a given—it took me years to construct, and now it’s packing its bags.
Me. Me. Me—messy, goofy, creative, anxious, extreme partier, obsessive, curious, slow moving, always five pounds to lose, incapable of self-discipline, funny, punctual…
Me, basically. The me I was used to. Then recently, I found a new me. I started eating differently, really taking care of myself, and the changes weren’t even complicated, they just kind of miraculously became part of my routine. I managed to quit smoking, pretty much without trying. I started to realize that meh, partying I could save for special occasions. I barely drink anymore. One glass and I’m totally gone which is what happened the other day at Chris’ parents’ house, hmm.
I’VE BECOME BORING, basically.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Because on top of all that, I’ve started to find a new balance deep down. I’d been looking for it for years, through the people I met, the things I read, my random healthy practices. Well, seek and ye shall find. I’m learning to say no. I’m developing my own art of living, and the beginnings of my own spirituality. I don’t believe other people know better than I do what is important for me, and I don’t believe in the shiny things anymore—I’ve learned to see through them.
SO ANNOYING, this girl.
I feel profoundly new, but the thing is, this new version of me, I don’t really know her. It’s like when a friend changes, and you’re not too sure how to take her, you know what I mean? You know you still love her, but you’re not sure if she’d still want to come scream with you at a Band of Horses concert (“No thanks, I prefer the ballet now”)
I’M NOT QUITE TO THAT POINT, I’ll go see Band of Horses AND go to the ballet.
So there are still a few things I’m attached to. Parts of my personality that aren’t going anywhere, even though deep down I’d kind of like them to go away too. To leave room for new things, new challenges, new obsessions. My messy side, for example. Those eternal five extra pounds. My anxiety.
Sometimes I feel like I’m one of the girls I used to make fun of (in a nice way). Hey girls, I’m drinking matcha and I love it!!! I finally understand how important exercise is! I meditate like crazy! I even do VISUALIZATIONS and I can talk about it without turning red! I’m kind of afraid I’m turning into Gwyneth Paltrow…and the worst part is, I love Gwyneth. I think she’s great, imperfect, interesting.
The other super interesting thing is, all of this is kind of happening away from my blog: deep changes like this are pretty much impossible to document.
Because watching your foundations crumble is incredibly confusing, even though I know we all go through phases like this at certain times in our lives. People talk about adolescence as that critical time when we become who we are, as if we were going to be the same forever after that. That’s what I used to believe, but it’s false. There are tons of adolescences in life. And each time, it’s the same dizzying changes, the same uncertainty, the same fear of disappointment.
These changes almost always come with a lot of pain—I told you about my burnout here and there, and even though I minimized it at the time (that’s another one of my personality traits that’s finally changing: the tendency to think I’m a lot stronger than I actually am), I realize now how painful it was, how deep it went, and how that was probably one of the most down and miserable times of my existence.
Then, imagine keeping a blog and having to talk about wooohoooo faaaashion at times like that. Nothing could seem more futile. You see things from a different angle, and you wonder about your limits, how long you’ll be able to keep up the illusion and hide your tears behind a big smile.
But without getting too melodramatic, it takes a little perspective to be able to have a sense of humor about your own situation, to be able to dive happily into the futility of life. The person I was before, I know her by heart, I was super comfortable managing her. Self-deprecation came easily to me without me even having to think about it. With this new version that’s not fully formed yet, I’m still exploring, still questioning.
What I always liked the most about myself, and what I always want to keep, is my laugh—my ability to not take myself too seriously. I like that even more than my creativity. It’s my protection and my joy, my survival suit. It’s helped me navigate through my life, and most of all, to survive the last ten totally crazy years without falling into the trap of a) believing my own hype or b) getting eaten alive by the hard, superficial side of the fashion world and becoming just another alien with too-colorful accessories, constantly shrieking with joy and wearing an ultra-bright fake smile at all times.
So when I started to change, that’s what scared me the most. Can you be balanced and funny at the same time? Can you be spiritual and make fun of yourself? Can you make peace with the world and also be sarcastic?
The answer is sometimes no. Sometimes you have to leave your sarcasm in the closet. And hope it will be there when you get back…if you go back.
But at the same time, I didn’t have a choice. My old systems weren’t working for me anymore. I needed to evolve, or I’d be stuck in an eternal loop—in the quagmire of sadness, fear and anxiety I’d found myself in. So at one point, I just had to say too bad. If my sense of humor has to go too, so be it.
We’ll see what’s waiting on the other side.
It’s strange being a public figure, especially if, like me, you don’t really have a filter on reality. And you’ve made that your job. Changing suddenly becomes a kind of scary black hole that could take everything along with it. But you end up telling yourself, well why not? After all, if it needs to go, let it go.
I’ve evolved so much right before your eyes. I’ll talk about this again next week because I’m working on a retrospective for you. The blog is ten years old. And it’s not a blog at all anymore, of course, but it’s still the place where I first started telling you my stories, or well…just telling you about my life. No fuss, no pretenses, no expectations, just the pleasure of sharing.
There might be less fucking rock and less fucking roll, fewer cigarettes and hangovers, less fashion hysteria (everyone is just as sick of that as I am, anyway) and more Kombucha (just kidding, I actually have no idea what that is, but it sounds very New Age) but maybe something else just as interesting will emerge. Because one thing I’ve always known will never leave me is my desire to share and write, my taste for mutual understanding, and for style and beauty.
So there you go. This is kind of a strange post to write—almost premature, since I don’t really know what’s going to come out of the chrysalis yet, but what I do know is that all I want is to own and honor the person I’m becoming BECAUSE THE SPIRIT OF MADONNA, who seems to be stuck in an eternal loop, IS WATCHING OVER US ALL.
Ahh I’m kidding. I love Madonna and even though I would have liked it if she chose to age differently, I’d like it even more if we all respect her choice and leave her alone, goddammit. She’s the first interplanetary pop star, and deserves our eternal respect.
So I’m handing it over to this new me, and we’ll see where she takes us. I’m confident about it now. And I’m even super excited for the future again.
———————
One last thing – if there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, it’s that I hope my words and explorations help and inspire those of you who feel a little lost, because those moments come often in life. I wrote my first book for that reason, and I also want to keep the conversation going with you. We had a group chat last week on Facebook, and we’ll probably do another one next week, but if you have any suggestions for other ways we can connect and share, I’m all ears. And I send you all big hugs and kisses.
Translated by Andrea Perdue
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Beautiful, Garance! I’m excited to see what the new you cooks up next!
You have some guts Garance! Can’t wait to see the ‘new you’
Hate de voir ce que ca nous reserve!
8 ans que je te suis, seul blog que je consulte quotidiennement. Depuis la France, le Chili et l’Angleterre. A dire a mes copines “non mais je t’envoie un lien de cet article, ca t’aidera a comprendre le dating a la francaise” (non mais je ne m’y fait toujours pas a cette difference culturelle moi)
Ce que tu decris, ce changement, en profondeur, doucement … je suis sure que ca fait echo a beaucoup d’entres nous. Et oui, ce blog, ces chroniques m’ont donne le sourire, a moi aussi, dans les periodes de burn out, dans les moments difficiles, c’etait agreable d’avoir ca.
Donc merci – et profite du voyage, c’est le plus important!
There’s really no mystery to any of this —– at last, you are growing up — from a girl to a woman, outgrowing relatively frivolous if enjoyable pursuits and interests and searching for what’s real, meaningful, lasting, soul enriching — the opposite of fashion and the ephermera of the culture that enables it……. run toward that kind of future with out hesitancy.
Merci Garance pour ce post plein de sincérité concernant ton évolution personnelle.
Je pense que tes lectrices fidèles, comme moi, ont senti ce changement depuis quelques temps. Ici on parle moins de mode que d’Art de Vivre et de sensibilités et je crois que ces thèmes me touchent de plus en plus.
Tu ne peux pas savoir comme cela fait plaisir de venir chercher ici un peu de spiritualité, de profondeur avec des mots bien choisis et de repartir inspirée, portée par la bienveillance de ton regard sur la vie.
Je crois que dans le contexte géopolitique et économique actuel il est de plus en plus difficile de rester superficiel, de limiter son discours à des biens matériels, la surconsommation semble presque indécente et les blogs de mode me semblent de plus en plus loin de la vie réelle.
Merci d’avoir senti ce courant et d’avoir su évoluer intelligemment :)
I love this!! This post right here is proof that you aren’t losing your sense of humor and charm. This is brilliantly honest and relatable. It is funny how taking care of oneself and being harmonious and peaceful often makes people seem annoying, while being the hot mess is endearing to others. Kind of backwards right? I’ve had similar struggles as I transition from college to adult life, but I know something great is on the other side!
Bonjour Garance,
Des années à te lire. Le flottement perceptible et mystérieux de ton absence-présence en début d’année et l’inquiétude de ne pas savoir ce qu’il se passe…
Les similitudes avec mon cheminement, toujours, toutes ces années, tes mots qui font tellement écho à mes pensées (“chrysalide”, je l’ai écrit ce matin… ;)), la façon dont tu t’exposes, sans fards et qui m’émeut toujours autant…
Tu m’as fait découvrir plein de nouveautés aussi au fil des ans: les produits Tata Harper, les maxi-pulls en cachemire Zara que tu portais pour la campagne d’il y a deux ans, les astro-twins que je suis toujours, et bien d’autres encore.
Aujourd’hui, les biens matériels m’intéressent beaucoup moins, mon équilibre est ailleurs, alors je suis vraiment heureuse d’accompagner ta nouvelle naissance et de continuer la route “avec” toi.
Ce qui nous touche tous je crois, ça n’a jamais été ton éventuel statut de modeuse, même si nous apprécions ta capacité à sentir les tendances. Non, ce qui nous attache, c’est la proximité que tu arrives à instaurer avec nous qui te lisons, et aussi la confiance que tu nous accordes en nous livrant une confidence. Et ça, il suffit de lire ton post du jour pour comprendre que ce n’est pas prêt de changer!
Plein de belles choses pour la suite de ta mue…
voilà pourquoi j’aime votre “blog”vos rèflexions amènent ma rèflexion
merci Garance.
*_*
i love this! i’ve been reading your blog for a long time… more than 5 years, at least, but i have never been into Fashion-with-a-capital-F. i skip over the fashion news posts, and only glance at the editorials (sorry!) but i have been reading this long because i love your writing! you have always been so honest, refreshing, self-reflective, and curious, and i think that i will love new-garance just as much.
On se (re)découvre chaque jour et c’est bien la beauté de la vie. Si on devenait tout de suite la fameuse “meilleure” version de nous-même, on rate alors tout le fun : le “process”. La mue est tantôt douloureuse, tantôt excitante mais tout du long, on s’étire et donc, on grandit. La vie est une merveilleuse aventure, c’est ainsi que je la conçois. Curieuse et passionnée, je cherche, je questionne, me questionne, trouve, me perds, me retrouve et puis parfois, je m’arrête, le temps de savourer ce moment parfois douloureux (qui me rappelle que je suis vivante, avec un coeur), parfois excitant (qui me rappelle que je suis vivante, avec un coeur). Comme on n’arrive pas avec un guide de vie entre les mains à notre naissance, il nous incombe de tracer notre chemin, de faire cette quête à la fois identitaire et spirituelle. La vie demande du courage mais en retour, elle nous donne mille petites et grandes joies.
Bonne transition :)
A mon sens, tu es juste en train de t’éveiller spirituellement. Pas de panique. Ce n’est que du bon!
Merci Garance pour ton aide, vraiment. Tu m’as aidé à ne pas me résoudre à tirer ma révérence mais à m’autoriser à construire encore et différemment. Continues à prendre soin de toi et yallah !!!
Just go along with it! We are all always evolving and that makes life exciting and scary at the same time.
-Christine
http://www.christinelovestotravel.com
Love your writing, Garance!
And so happy that you are working on a second book.
I used to be so comfortable in my ways that the idea of changing seemed difficult and scary. Then major things in my life changed and I was forced to accept that life is always changing . So little by little I made changes with myself and it became fun and exciting and I felt relief and free in not being stuck in old routines and ideas. Now I welcome change.
Super insprired to read what you’re doing!
Thank you!
Keep going girl, we’ll be here waiting to read and support this new version of yourself and… remember that many of your readers “grew up” just like you did in the last 10 years, so, yes, good changes are always welcome!
Tellement coool de te lire, toujours aussi naturelle et sans filtres en cherchant toujours à nous aider et être tout à fait honnête avec nous après 10 ans, incroyable !!!
Je ne te dirais pas “reste comme tu es, on t’adore” mais plutôt change et découvre toi encore et encore, on t’adoreras toujours !!!
Hello to the new Garance! I’m so excited to see what’s next! x
I wish you were there last night chatting with us, We dove into this idea of our identity and when we begin to have the awareness to see, honor and ride with the changes. When our habits and patterns and beliefs about ourselves begin to shift and change, as they will always do, it takes courage to walk with grace and give permission. Yeah for you! Sounds like an exciting, raw, and real time.
Tellement inspirant!
You rock Garance ;)
Je suis toujours halluciné par ta capacité à poser tout ca sur papier et nous l’expliquer, avec autant de clarté. J’aimerais bien pouvoir m’analyser et comprendre de la même manière. Hate de voir ‘the New You’!
Mon tout premier commentaire en 10 ans, bienvenue à ton nouveau toi, encore tout frais Mais déjà un peu là, très touchant ce post, alors merci de nous faire partager ce truc quand même plutôt profond, ça fait du bien à lire…Parce que l’on passe toutes par ce genre de
Moment, d’éternelles phases d’ado comme tu l’écris!
Te prends pas la tête, croque tout ça à pleines dents :-)
Et sinon ne te sens pas obligée de justifier toutes tes blagues, on se doute que tu veux pas diss’ Madonna ou Gwyneth <3
Dear Garance,
Thank you for sharing your story, it actually made me cry… I think I am going through an exact same phase like you and therefore your story is so recognizable. At age 37 I feel like such a ‘late bloomer’ who is finally (hopefully) finding out who she really is, but I guess that’s just my way. To me it’s all about finding your real self, in its purest form, accepting it and leaving your insecurities and strive for perfection and pleasing others behind. It’s a difficult path, for sure, but it has been so inspiring so far.
Thanks again and good luck. I’m sure we’ll both get out of this stronger, wiser, happier! :)))
X
Woohoo Garance! Cheering you on! ?????????? New season, new you ???????????????? God bless your new journey of discovery…exciting indeed!!
Woohoo Garance! Cheering you on this new season new you! God makes everything beautiful in His time! ????????????????
Thank you SO much for sharing. This completely resonates with me. “If it needs to go, let it go.” Love this!
I am feel like I am going through something very similar this year. I found these words very relatable: “My old systems weren’t working for me anymore. I needed to evolve, or I’d be stuck in an eternal loop—in the quagmire of sadness, fear and anxiety I’d found myself in. So at one point, I just had to say too bad. If my sense of humor has to go too, so be it.” I think I also have something qualities and comfortable behaviors to let go of, and so be it… Thank you for sharing and the encouragement this is giving other!
yes, I think one of the signs of really maturing is doing healthy things (your food choices, your exercise) but not doing it for attention. “Look at me drinking this green thing” “here I am at xxxx trendy workout class”. You just do it as normally as brushing your teeth and don’t explain yourself all the time or self-deprecate. Basically taking initiative yourself, not complaining, and not being swayed by every new thing. I like it, and yes, I relate too.
i’m not so sure that what you are describing is a change of character. it sounds more like a gradual but drastic change of habits (and maybe interests), that makes you feel different about things.
anyhow, who wants to stay the same all their lives? just hold on to your curiosity, creativeness and warmth, and to your dog of course – and you can never be very boring! ;-)
Its always so nice to read your posts. Its like I’m having a heart touch conversation with a dear friend. I’m loving to hear about the new you, it is part of growing up and getting wiser I think, we get to know ourselves more and more and what really matters for us in life. All the luck for the new you :)
Ça c’est la crise de la quarantaine Garance ! :-) On passe toutes par là, je crois. Il n’y a que les simples d’esprit pour faire l’autruche. Se mentir à soi même c’est le pire de tout. Et pour le rire ou l’ironie, c’est bien connu que c’est l’armure des grands sensibles. Il ne faut pas avoir peur du changement, il est l’essence même de la vie. Je te souhaite le meilleur pour la suite :-) (mais quand même, garde ton humour please ! Moi je te verrai bien en grand GOUROU de la poilade ! ahah)
Great post!!! I want to believe that being lost is part of the development.
I’m already in love with this new you. Look forward for your next words!
Garance, thanks for writing this- I’m going through something very similar and it’s scary but exciting at the same time. I feel lost some days, like really lost and scared, and then the next day I can feel excited for the new chapter ahead. It’s refreshing to read your internal dialogue around changing and growing and to know someone else feels this- we are all in it together. xo!
Has it been 10 years already? It feels like a blink but looking back, well wow, what a trip. I’ve loved reading about adventures in Garanceland: the joys and heartaches along with all that glitters. One constant, over the years, is your generosity. Generosity, my dear G, is your biggest gift to us, your devoted readers. For now, let’s shelf the “roll” and keep the “rock” — Rock on!!
dix ans déjà ! tu sais si bien mettre des mots sur ce que tu traverses… ces posts personnels seront toujours mes préférés. tu changes, tu mûris, tu vieillis aussi, comme nous toutes, et je crois que tu es vraiment une belle personne. merci de partager aussi les doutes et les trucs moins glamour avec nous. c’est un bonheur de t’accompagner depuis tout ce temps, hâte de connaître la suite. Der Weg ist das Ziel (l’important, c’est le chemin) ! bises
Lovely!!
The most spiritual people have the best sense of humor! Otherwise what’s the point? I meditate, exercise, drink kombucha (it’s awesome, and some brands have trace amounts of alcohol lol), contemplate philosophy, and…watch Louis CK. All good.
GREAT GREAT post and so beautifully touching in the most authentic way, I had tears in my eyes reading it as I identify with some of the personal changes, transformations you are going through in life… I believe meditation has expanded your awareness in a profound way as it has done for me too. Since I started meditation 2 years ago, many changes have happened in my life including my diet, my life style, the way I shop and spend, how I think, my being … and I let go the things that are non-essential, that don’t serve me physically, emotionally and spiritually. All this growth and change feels scary, painful, but is necessary and beneficial in the end as you grow into the best version of yourself. So I am very happy for the new you and very curious what discoveries, changes you are going to go through as your transformation continues… please keep sharing it, I like it so much that you talk about things like this other than fashion.
Salut Garance,
Ton changement de personnalité fait écho en moi puisque moi aussi je suis (j’étais?) gaffeuse, créative, fêtarde à l’extrême, curieuse, toujours trois kilos à perdre, incapable de discipline, drôle, ponctuelle (note que j’en ai supprimé 4 : non, nous ne sommes pas jumelles).
Je n’arrive pas à mettre le doigt sur le fond du problème, si tant est que cela en soit un.
J’ai une hypothèse idéale, très “empowerment”, genre le changement comme preuve de maturité, témoin d’une intelligence un peu instinctive qui nous ferait évoluer pour mieux nous auto-rendre heureuse.
Et j’ai une autre hypothèse, celle que je trouve un peu moins girl-power mais qui me vient à l’esprit spontanément, NOS MECS.
Est-ce que nous les filles, toutes aussi fortes (en personnalité et en gueule) que l’on soit, on se laisserait plus ou moins inconsciemment changer par nos mecs? Alors qu’eux s’en tiennent globalement à leur ligne de conduite basique de mecs égaux à eux-mêmes (que je respecte vachement même si jamais je n’avouerai ça devant le mien, faut pas déconner!)
Est ce que LE MEC = le changement c’est maintenant? Si une copine osait me dire ça je nierais crânement, commanderais un autre verre et rentrerais tard juste pour prouver que j’ai raison. En plus ça sonne misogyne non?!
Mais là de toi à moi (plus ou moins, on est d’accord!), je m’interroge sincèrement :)
Bises! C
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. You are a source of inspiration!
Hi Garance! I am exactly a year and a month older than you, and I have gone through the same changes!! There is a WHOLE LOT more self-reflection going on, a lot of self-care (juices, meditation), less tolerance for alcohol and partying, less interest in the superficial, the need for a lot more silence and simplicity, and the greater ability to say NO. I wondered, too, if i was getting “boring” but the new me said “who the F cares??! you’re a whole lot happier!”. I think this just means we’re growing up, Garance?? High-five to perimenopausal biological shifts!!! haha!!!
As-tu lu “The Middle Passage”, de James Hollis? Je crois que tu vas beaucoup l’aimer. <3
La vie est un perpétuel changement, c’est ce qui nous fait évoluer… pendant une période on pense être comme ça, et on s’aperçois qu’en fait on préfère être comme ça et voir la vie comme ça et non plus comme ça… la spiritualité nous aide également dans ce monde de fou, où l’on court s’en arrêt, on est attaché au monde avec internet, nos portables, la tv… on ne déconnecte jamais…je ne suis pas du tout new age, je suis une vrai citadine, aimant la ville la mode, que cela bouge, mais souvent j’ai besoin de me ressourcer et partir à la montagne au calme. Mon seul côté babacool c’est dans la nourriture, j’aime manger, donc j’essaie de me procurer de bon produit, locaux si possible, et faire simple mais bon pour mon corps et celui de ceux qui m’entourent.
En tout cas, j’aimerai avoir votre volonté pour l’arrêt de la cigarette car moi depuis l’arrivée de mes deux jumelles j’ai repris à haute dose… stressssssss quand tu nous tiens.
mais de vous lire ça me pose et me ressource également. Merci.
The forties:-)
and the 50’s!
Love your shining spirit!!!!
I think this is what 40 ish is about. Glad I’m not the only one
Garance, you are absolutely positively my idol and role model. I have been reading you blog since 2006, and this type of piece is what makes you timeless. You’re current with fashion, and your art is brilliant, but your ability to be vulnerable and authentic about really deep life changes amist all of the flashing lights in the fashion world (and let’s be real, the entire world we live in) is what makes you amazing, and forever my favorite. Thank you.
Garance … relaxe, pas de stress. Ce qu’il y a de meilleur en toi restera toujours malgrè les crises. J’en suis convaincue, notre nature est parfaite xx
C’est cette Garance là que j’aime ! Enfin pour moi cette version “Garance vous parle en live” hier ou aujourd’hui
elle est la même. C’est pour cette elle-là que je suis toujours ce blog et ces posts toujours autant “réflexion et déclic sur soi-même” J’adore !!! Merci Garance. Merci.
Merci Garance pour ces confessions ! On passe toute part là, avec plus ou moins de dégâts, une réflexion plus ou moins profonde, on évolue, on change, il faut trouver sa place, son équilibre, son soi pour un seul objectif : être heureuse ! je te souhaite un beau parcours et quoique tu choisisses de faire évoluer chez ‘Garance Doré cie’ tu garderas ton audience ! Bonne route !
sarah.
Whoa! Love this. Thank you for voicing what’s been in my head over the past few months. I went to an intuitive tarot workshop last night (gah, can’t believe I’m saying this) and am feeling inspired to acknowledge and accept that growth sucks, change is painful but the way I’m moving through the world isn’t working for me any more. Here’s to the new you! And the new me.
Ce post me touche et c’est pour cela que je suis ton blog plus que n’importe quel autre depuis a peu près 7 ans, tu es sincère dans les bons comme dans les mauvais moments et tu n’hésites pas à parler des phases de doute que tout le monde peut ressentir mais dont personne n’ose parler.
Merci pour tes articles, j’ai hâte de voir ce que tu nous réserves, je serai encore là à te lire :)
Congratulations, Garance – you’re coming into your own!!!
This is what happens when you drop your expectations of how you “should” be and just become you.
I remember distinctly when I reached this stage:
I was at a concert watching Sting rock it out on stage (Sting at the age of 62) and blowing my socks off with his talent and energy. And realizing that you don’t have to shrink silently into the night as you get older, but you become more “yourself”. It’s ok to take care of yourself with good food and healthy relationships, exercise and sleep (and all that goes with a healthy lifestyle).
Getting older, taking care of yourself and nurturing your soul does not have to be a boring venture but an adventure, after all.
Enjoy ;)
As a 40-year-old myself, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your voice on the Internet. I’ve been reading your words a long time, and while I’m not as into fashion or beauty as I was in my twenties and thirties (I still enjoy them but I have different priorities now and having the current ‘it’ bag isn’t one of them) I can understand why it might be challenging for you as you might worry that your readers identify you as a high fashion blogger, etc. I don’t think you should worry about that. Your intuition has served you well thus far and will continue to. And it’s true, we change constantly through life.
I have to respond to you to say Isn’t it SO wonderful to read about someone our age who is not identifying just “as a mom” ( I am one, but an also still a woman – it is not my only identity) or someone who is trying to act like they are the same as a 25 year old. Here with Garance is a the perspective I feel most of the time, and cannot find elsewhere.
Hello Garance,
Selon moi, quand on est curieux, on est forcément amené à évoluer avec son temps. Le contexte d’aujourd’hui n’est pas du tout le même que celui d’il y a 10 ans, 20 ans. La société prend conscience de son environnement, de son impact, la technologie et internet ont mis tout le monde en lien, de manière instantanée, effrénée… J’ai l’impression qu’aujourd’hui tout cela retombe un peu comme un soufflet et que nous nous interrogeons sur le progrès et l’essentiel. Que le sentiment de culpabilité permanente et l’auto-flagellation vont place à l’envie d’agir et au renforcement positif. Et comme toi, je constate ce changement dans mon mode vie depuis 2 ans (moi qui angoissait beaucoup pour l’avenir, j’ai arrêté de stresser : je fais du sport, je fais attention à ce que je mange, à mon sommeil, à la communication positive, au less is more et je suis en paix avec moi-même parce que j’ai l’impression de faire ce qui est bien (selon moi), à mon échelle) et je me dis : wow ! est-ce que l’on serait tous en train de nous éveiller pour un monde meilleur (ohm) ? Ahah c’est exagéré mais mais des fois j’aime à le penser, pour me rassurer et voir les choses de manière positive. Je suis ton blog depuis 7 ans et je suis heureuse de lire aujourd’hui cet article, je te comprends et te soutiens, tout peut toujours évoluer, heureusement sinon ce serait chiant ! Et puis, moi j’ai gardé l’ironie et le rock’n’roll parce qu’on est pas parfait, parce que sans la passion qui nous fait déraper parfois, ce n’est vraiment plus drôle. Take care. Marine
This is phenomenal. I will be a loyal reader, through and through. The next phase sounds like something that could really inspire and apply to most of your readership.
Excited to see what you have in store!
xx Kristen
http://www.bungalow1.com/
Darling Garance, thank you! This is a very beautiful post. I feel, even though it is titled “New Me,” the tone in this piece reminds me of your earlier work–a bit more honest and raw, a reason why I started reading your blog in the first place. Thank you. xxxx
Beautiful post!! I guess change is always a good thing so we only have to trust!!
Thank you Garance! This was just what I needed right now, I am reading this and suddenly tears starts to run down my chin. You are such a wonderful and inspiring person and I am so looking forward to se what lays ahead for you and the blog, and for me as well! Merci!!
Thank you. Been in the hardest, most emotional, challenging time in my life, and trying to figure out how to be “me” in the midst of new realities, and never feeling quite myself…thank you for this reminder that allowing ourselves to change can be challenging, though necessary. Have been following you since the beginning and always appreciate your candor! Merci beaucoup Garance!
You’re not alone here! Change is inevitable, even in ourselves but I agree, it’s sooooo damn scary! I think it’s harder when there’s not one single event that you can pinpoint. But it’s just another coming of age, a refined age, an age where refusal is sometimes preferable to having everything all the time and all at once, that’s just too overwhelming. I’m starting to try (age 41 nearly) to be at peace with myself, take better care of myself and accept that there’s a girl I’ve left behind and a slightly different woman waiting. What I love about your posts is that sometimes although we all live such totally different lives, there are so often parallels and I think ‘oh my God Garance what? That’s just how I was feeling!’ So thank you and many kisses to you Garance X
Chère Garance…merci de partager avec nous! je lis ton blog chaque jour, depuis des années et je me demandait aujourd’hui même…quelle est le but de la vie de Garance? être reconnue internationalement? avoir de milliers des likes?…et après…quoi? je doit t’avouer que je lu “grandir” de ton amie Sophie, et j’ai bcp aime la conceptualisation qu’elle fait de sa vie…aussi le film “inside out” ou Kung fu Panda (dont tu fait référence parfois, m’aident a te comprendre…je vais continuer a prière pour toi Dieu, pour que tu trouve la vérité et avec elle, la source de la harmonie, et de la beauté! courage ! toutes tes copines “virtuelles”, c.a.d…nous tes lectrices, nous sommes la pour t’accompagner dans cette nouvelle étape…et un ptte suggestion…garde ton espace personnelle, pas nécessaire d’ “etaler” ta vie avec les médias…il y a bcp de célébrités qu’arrivent…pourquoi tu non? encore merci!
Sounds like you are evolving. The core of you will still be the same. But your values and priorities are and will continue to shift. We are all going through this at some point or another. Thank you for sharing your experience so beautifully.
Love this, good for you! I agree that life sends us many adolescences – it’s a non-linear experience and we spiral along, learning differently as we go. Although I was a newish mom in my 40’s and that rocked me I have to say my 50’s are proving to be even more seismic. Perhaps not as visibly but the changes feel much deeper. Cheers and thanks as always for sharing!
Dear Garamce,
Thank you for sharing your soul process so authentically with us! You are opening a new chapter of your destiny as a human being, but the essence of “you” is the thread going forward. Cheers for the journey!
For years my aunt had a placard in her kitchen: “The right thing is happening and should be encouraged.” A perfect mantra.
Love to you from another of your faithful readers,
Linda
This post is so relatable to a lady of 31. I am happy to say I feel like lately I have been able to “not give a damn” about the surroundings and be proud of my choices and beliefs. It is not always easy at this stage of life where there are so many moving factors and underlying expectations of those around one. Life eventually moves in the direction it is supposed to and happily, everyone is allowed to do just as they wish to. Just to remember this when things get tricky..
After reading your post, I am of the belief your foundation is not crumbling. It is because of your foundation you are allowing change. People with no foundation, or a weak foundation, do not allow themselves to change in the ways you describe:)
Great story, just wondering if the man in your life won’t miss the ‘old you’, the one he fell in love with… don’t change too much :)
Bonjour Garance,
c’est cool ce poste, c’est vrai que 10 ans ont passés, je dois te suivre depuis 7 ans (c’est dingue c’est énorme) et je te lis quotidiennement. Ado, quand j’ai commencé à te lire j’avais 14 ou 15 ans peut être moins, je commentais tout le temps, maintenant j’ai 21 ans et je commente presque plus mais je te lis toujours quotidiennement. Je me souviens quand tu as déménagé à New York et que tu n’as pas posté pendant plusieurs, l’attente fébrile en pensant qu’il t’était arrivé quelque chose de grave. Tu fais partie de ma vie Garance, te rencontrer cette année à ta signature en novembre à Paris m’a juste trop fait plaisir, tu es une femme géniale. Il est indéniable que tu as changé mais ce qui reste et qui je pense sera éternel si tu continues à écouter ton coeur, c’est ta générosité et ta bienveillance vis-à-vis de ton public. Tu ne me connais pas bien mais j’espère que nos vies se recroiseront, j’ai lu en entier les commentaires sur facebook suite aux questions et je trouve que c’est une idée géniale, même si ça dois être très intense pour toi. J’aimerai bien un jour peut être bosser pour toi ou te rencontrer et discuter, c’est comme ton amie qui a posté récemment un poste sur sa vie à 40 ans (le texte était génial, j’espère qu’elle réécrira ici ), bref j’ai envie qu’on devienne trop pote, mais c’est déjà un peu le cas grâce à ton blog où on peut discuter. Et merci car tu es une amie géniale, un amour de femme pleine d’humour, vivre sans peurs c’est pas possible cependant certaines peurs ne sont pas réelles, donc il faut expérimenter, écouter son coeur et le reste ira.
I love you, and your blog even more now. Bon courage ????
Welcome to your forties!
Thank you so much for sharing! The idea that our personality is set post-adolescence is very restricting and often untrue. It’s wonderful to know that you, a smart and successful woman, experiences major shifts in perspective at different stages of your life. I also feel like I’m awaking to an inner lioness, owning my personality and using it as a tool to make changes in my life and the world around me. I no longer make time or space for negativity or fear.
Garance! This post resonates so much. I hear you and coming from you this eases the same discomfort I have in the changing I’ve been feeling within myself. Thank you for being you and being so courageous, vulnerable in sharing this with all of us. Thank you!
So relatable Garance…truly an honor to know you, the real you, the old you, whatever comes out of that chrysalis, is going to be awesome. I’ve too gone through this change within the last 3 years of my life, divorce, single working Mom of two…figuring out who I truly was, letting go and following what is important, what makes me happy. Working on you and creating balance in your life, is the best for us all…there should be more people out there, looking internally and changing for the better! Cheers to you!
xoxo
So glad to see I’m not the only one. I’m a bit older than you, but going through the same thing. The astrologer I follow has been saying “Do It Different” and that’s been my mantra all year, especially when things get scary and I want to go back to my old ways because I know them better. Love you and love what you do. I can’t wait to watch you evolve. Big Love to you.
Garance, it’s called ‘growing up’, maturing, whatever tag you want to put on it. Some people don’t, unfortunately, but most do. It’s a natural change of life, just like menopause (hahaha) but that will come soon enough and more physical and mental and spiritual and and and MORE CHANGES as the decades come and go. Some things you just gotta roll with…
Enjoy the ride!
Can’t believe I just read that from YOU, I’m feeling just the same right now :) Also realised yours is the only “fashion blog” I’ve kept reading (and loving) since 2006 (my first year of college, you can imagine the change). Thank you for this post, makes me feel so relatable to you, even though we’re miles away. A big hug from a South American almost thirty follower.
Content de te retrouver pareil et différente.
On dirait que tout change en même temps, il y a pas que le climat qui est impacté par l’Homme, mais l’homme aussi, j’ai le sentiment que les nouvelles technologies nous mettent tous au même niveaux (on voit tous les même vidéos virale, les mêmes articles, les même recettes de cuisine, etc.) et que ça nous conduit sur un truc qui, si on a l’idée de le quitté nous rattrape et nous le fait bien savoir.
Et quand tu parles d’adolescence, je ne peux que sourire car depuis mes 38ans je suis en pleine crise, c’est bien et pas, j’en rirai bien une fois.
Des bise et à bientôt
PS: je me retrouve beaucoup dans ton texte ;)
As usual, perfect timing, Garance. I turned 40 this year and it’s hit me hard–harder than I thought it would. I realize I need to adjust some things (for my physical and mental health), but am struggling to figure out how and where to start. I think you have some good suggestions above. I will continue to follow along with you! XOXO
Idem Garance, idem.
D’ado grinçante, athée, rentre dedans, fêtarde et destroy, je deviens une femme spirituelle, végane, méditante, qui fait du yoga et boit du kombucha (for real) et qui est bourrée après 2 verres de vin. Ah ! Et plus heureuse aussi. Bref l’ado que j’étais se serait tellement foutue de ma gueule…
Je reste quand même bien militante et féministe, nan mais et puis quoi encore.
Xxx
Irène
http://www.cookinginjune.com
Thank you for sharing. Posts like this are why I’ve been a loyal reader for a long time, even though I’m not that into fashion. I experienced burnout earlier this year and it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I feel like a different person since then, and I identify so much with what you have written about changes and identity (and sarcasm and hippy stuff). I’m working through it right now and trying to better understand my needs and how I need to evolve. I really appreciate your perspective and beautiful way with words. You are amazing. Looking forward to your future reflections!
Garance, it’s been 8 years since I stumbled upon your blog and sometimes read religiously and other times just forget – despite it always sitting in the favorites bar. Thankyou for this, because change for myself over the last 8 years has been inevitable but also as you say feels scary and weird. I knew there was a reason you’ve been in the favorites bar all this time xxx
Thank you for this post Garance. I am a (very) long time reader of yours and have seen how your fashion persona had perhaps dominated perceptions of you in recent years, particularly as you became (more) famous / well known and you and Scott were such a power couple.
As others have already commented, you may well be becoming a “new you” but this post was as raw and honest and true and brave and touching and beautiful as when you first began and as you have always written. For that I thank you and will continue to be a loyal reader/fan/follower.
Sending love from Sydney, Australia x
Tres beau post, plein de verite et touchant par son honnetete. Ce changement s’appelle “grandir” et me fait penser a ma propre experience, mes doutes, mes peurs qui en fin de compte et apres des decades me semblent minimes mais indispensables. Garance, vous etes sur la bonne voie ! :-)
Je pleure…
Such a long time I haven`t read your blog.. any blog, some how I was curious about the post.. I am glad to have read…. its like you had write it for me… thank you Garance.. I’m sure that what comes from that, will be wonderful, innovative and true…
Love this. I went through a similar significant change five years ago and I now help other women be brave and go through their own change. It turned my world upside down and yet didn’t, like you wrote… I found myself moving away from people that didn’t feel good, saying no a lot more, changing the way I spoke to myself, and what I put up with in my life. It’s been the best thing I could ever have done. It can be scary and uncomfortable, but so worth it. Can’t wait to see what’s next X
“Know thyself” – all our selves as we change throughout life. Wish we could all get comfy with a glass of wine at the same time to share our experiences, insights and hopes in discovering who we are… I’m in the middle of figuring myself out right now after major changes in work status (freelance) so your writing couldn’t be more timely. I can say that whether I am at 40, 36, 34, 28, 25, 19, 16, 12,… (all the times I recall mini crises), it’s a struggle to be true to yourself and not measure yourself against what one “should” be or have accomplished by a certain age. Speaking of Madonna, she once said in an interview that she is not the master of her abilities but is just the manager. I think that’s a very positive and open way to look at ourselves and move forward. :) Big hugs and kisses to you too! Thank you :)
your change would be synchronizing with this https://youtu.be/PjGm89GKGbg. Don’t you think?
this is kind of story we made ,so please don’t take serious and we don’t need discuss whether it’s true or not. we can do enjoy this story.
your change is beautiful and powerful so that will make all of us( readers) synchronize with yours!
thank you G
I’m afraid my english is not good ^^;
Maki from japan
La seule constance dans la vie est le changement.Merci Garance.Vous êtes inspirante
I really love this. Can’ t wait for more details! Awesome!
j’etais une gamine quand j’ai commence a lire ce blog, maintenant j’ai 27 ans et je n’ai toujours aucunes expectations, je viens ici comme on traine dans une belle maison pendant les vacances. et travaillant dans le trend forecasting, c’est tres agreable aussi d’aller trainer a un endroit ou l’on en parle pas… :)
Your blog and this post is amazing! Just love the tone and how frank the post is – definitely a breath of fresh air. Looking forward to see what’s up next!
Lena
http://zoyaandme.com/
If the futility of life is true, then what purpose does anxiety serve? How is inferiority relevant? What does spirituality do except tell a temporary lie? Forget your mid-life crisis. This is your opportunity to find the TRUTH, not just YOUR truth. God loves you and is knocking loudly on your door. Life is not futile. You have a purpose that is more than you know. You have to hear Him for He can give you more satisfaction than you can give yourself. Good luck and God Bless!! xxxx
What a wonderful and somewhat timely post – you’re totally right in saying that we all go through cycles of change. I feel like I am right there with you on the brink of a big old holistic change, particularly in mind, well-being and priorities. Thank you for sharing this post with us Garance, I have always loved your honest approach to writing and look forward to reading the retrospective.
Amy x
Quel plaisir de lire ce post.
Nombre de fois j’ai lu les articles en me disant que j’aurais aime quelque chose de moins mode alors que je sentais malgre tout un message qui m’interpellait et surtout,pour les personnes qui n’ont pas les moyens d’acquerir les si belles choses vues parfois,il est bon de lire et relire a quel point la lumiere que nous degageons vient avant tout de ce que nous sommes et des valeurs que nous vehiculons.beaucoup d’entre sommes assez mures pour pretendre a ce fameux changement et je sais que je continuerai a me nourrir de vos posts pour m’accompagner dans ma mue.
Merci.
This part made me teary-eyed:
“One last thing – if there’s one thing that hasn’t changed, it’s that I hope my words and explorations help and inspire those of you who feel a little lost, because those moments come often in life.”
Because it was just a nice thing to hear as I’m in a funky, changing moment. One thing I do know, however: stay away from the kombucha (it tastes like vinegar!). X
Oh how that resonates with this Feng Shui intention in my life! The journey is the destination, really. Thank you for sharing, for being real and authentic and touching as ever and always…. X merci!
J’admire cette façon dont tu parles de ton changement Garance. Ça fait tellement longtemps que je suis tes histoires, avant même d’avoir décidé de lacher mon travail pour créer ma marque d’accessoires.Quand j’ai découvert le blog, je me rappelle avoir passé des heures à lire tous les posts dans ma petite chambre d’étudiante, en fumant comme un pompier. (oh mon dieu, on change tous…)Et Malgré le boom, la célébrité, j’admire surtout que tu aies su garder le ton pour que l’on ai toutes l’impression que tu es une bonne copine…Même si tu côtoies des gens importants. Tu nous permets d’entrer avec tes yeux, sans fard dans le monde de la mode et ça c’est un cadeau fantastique!
Les Burn out ne sont pas facile à gérer (pour en avoir vécu un) on apprend à ce respecter, à sentir après où se trouvent les limites après. À dire non et à freiner dès que Mrs Anxiety pointe son nez (oui, je lui ai donné un nom à cette c*******)
Belle évolution en tout cas!
Bonjour Garance! c’est normal de changer comme cela et heureusement sinon la vie serait bien banale, tu ne crois pas?
J’ai passé la barre des 40 ans il y a presque 3 ans et je sens aussi que je deviens plus “sage”, plus réflechie sur les choses qu’on a fait ou pas fait lors de nos 30 ans ;-).
Je bois moins aussi enfin quand je fais la fête (ce qui n’arrive pas très souvent !)… bonjour le teint et la mine le lendemain sinon ! et puis le temps est trop précieux pour perdre une journée à recupérer ;-)
J’ai fondé ma boite il y a aussi 10 ans comme toi (champagne24.de) et ai eu 2 enfants entre temps !
Ca change une personne tout simplement et en tous cas c’est chouette que tu l’acceptes et que tu nous en fasses part.
Merci pour toutes ses belles années passés en ta compagnie, on a l’impression de tellement bien te connaitre ;-) surtout ne perds par ton humour et ton auto-dérision mais je ne pense pas, quel atout pour faire face à la Vie et aux autres!
Alex de Berlin
Merci pour ton témoignage. C’est amusant parce que j’ai l’impression de te retrouver :) Que tu commences à faire tomber les barrières et à revenir près de nous.
Je traverse le même bouleversement en ce moment, il parait que c’est la quarantaine! Le seul problème c’est que dans ma tête je suis toujours une ado mais qui grandit peut-être. J’ai l’impression d’être sur des montagnes russes mais que cela commence à un peu s’apaiser, je me cherche encore et j’espère bientôt pouvoir me trouver enfin! Il y a beaucoup de rencontres que tu nous fais partager qui sont passionnantes et qui m’ont beaucoup apporté et notamment Mimi Kirk, beaucoup de bon sens qui apaise et qui nous montre aussi une certaine voie du bien être. On est plus sur le développement personnel que des story telling , néanmoins intéressantes, mais trop superficielles à mon goût que l’on a pu voir. Le quotidien que nous avons pour la plupart est loin de ces vies de papier glacé. Alors revoir un peu de gens plus terre à terre fait du bien. Hâte de voir la suite de ton témoignage.
je crois que tu entres dans l’âge de la sagesse et ça, c’est bien :-)
Oh Garance. I’ve been where you are for a while and currently still at an impasse in terms of revealing this newly discovered me, especially when it comes to friends and family. The anxiety involved with that and potentially causing pain or burning bridges… It’s incredibly hard and terrifying. I always wonder, Does there have to be a sacrifice or is it just completely out of my control? Is it possible to keep both? Should I resign myself and accept this natural change of flow? So I really admire you for pursuing and finding your answers. I’m a really big believer in contradictions and it’s circular nature, like yin and yang. While we’re so completely different from each other in every aspect of life, you still completely understand me. Your stories and experiences are a reminder we’re all One and not alone. Once again you’ve filled and healed me with warmth and love. Thanks so much for shaing this change in your life.
I think it’s a “decade” issue.
Every decade of your life is different. As you hit the next 0… 20, 30, 40… your life turns a corner and changes.
You can’t be the same person your whole life because as you age, you experience, you learn and you change.
Sometimes the change is subtle and sometimes very sharp. But you only improve and develop and you are right to embrace the change.
10 ans que je te lis, j’en avais 19 (étudiante en langues, habitant à l’étranger, fêtes et shopping) j’en ai 29 maintenant (enseignante, mariée, bébé de 6 mois, quasi végétarienne, le yoga a bouleversé ma vie, j’ai commencé la danse orientale la semaine dernière, histoire de découvrir mon corps autrement -artistiquement – après le bouleversement de la maternité) bref, on change tous, et si cela est fait “en conscience” et pour “être” soi, un soi qui fluctue et évolue, mais un soi honnête envers lui même qui ne se ment pas et ne se cache pas et bien … bienvenue à Garance 2.0. Love from France
oaarrh I just want to give you a hug Garance. You see I am one of your ‘old’ readers, I am sure you have lots of them because you write so well for all ages. But the old readers have all gone through this (and probably will again!!!) .
Maybe you just think that the person you might be turning into is not cool? But trust me, she is. As you get older and become more truly you-doing whatever you damn well please-you start to become more attractive to others I think. So now, I find the young people want to hang out with me! I was NEVER cool or hip or whatever as a young person but somehow as I’ve got older and just done what I want the way I want, I’ve become ok. You will will just become more beautiful inside and out. Thankyou for sharing!
Claere Kay, I agree completely with you. When you own your truth and really start to live your life you become “cool”. As a member of the older crowd, I admit that I don’t have everything figured out but am happier than I have ever been. It feels like shedding skins and finding the jewel beneath.
Garance continues to inspire us with her raw honest and brilliant humor. Life is a fun journey that is best enjoyed moment by moment.
This last week of posts have been so inspiring. So many journeys to follow.
à mon avis, un nouveau moi n’est jamais si nouveau: ça n’est qu’un reveil de ce que l’on est vraiment… et qui dormait.
Lots of love
You have not become boring , life changes and you have moved along with those changes. I went to dinner last night with a friend and I was describing how I had fallen and cut my elbow in the first km of a 10k race, I was laughing as I was describing how I thought it looked worse than it was so carried on running after I told a First Aider to put a ‘plaster on it’,it actually needing stitching, anyway half way through my monologue my friend stopped me and said ‘you look really cool and happy’. There it was- I thought looked pretty scruffy clothes wise (can’t bend the elbow) or did I?, Somehow I had naturally started to care of myself -running, yoga , eating and drinking in a balanced way (I am not giving up wine completely!) I stopped sweating the small stuff and was actually enjoying everything in my life. I have my ahem late forties and feel totally at ease. Life changes and there is a new rock and roll x
Moi conque j’aime bien chez-toi c’est effectivement que côté partage et écriture tu es toujours aussi sincère et direct et franchement depuis 9 ans que je lis ton blog (avec plus ou moins d’assiduité, mais j’ai eu les grandes lignes de chaque étape) je retrouve toujours ton empreinte :)
Ton changement est pour le meilleur j’ai l’impression, la coupe de cheveux est parfaite (je trouve) et j’ai vraiment hâte de voir la suite. J’aurais envie de te dire “ne change pas” mais ça serait juste pour l’appliquer à ce que tu écris ici, pour conserver cette authenticité.
Wow, I didn’t realize that I am going through the exact same thing until I read your post. Maybe it’s midlife crisis, but I feel like I’ve made tons of positive changes so regardless, it is a good thing. But at the same time I am definitely not the same person I was a few years ago. my carefree ability to have a ball is gone. Maybe it’s old age… Maybe it’s just finally making choices that ultimately make me feel a whole lot better. I appreciate your ability to put it all out there. Reading your post I see myself in a new way.
Very beautiful Thanks
“Grandir” ne se fait pas sans douleurs, sans angoisse mais quel bonheur de pouvoir devenir celle (celui) que l’on a toujours reve etre. Courage Garance, vous etes sur le bon chemin !
Dear Garance,
how much I understand you … and it might sound a bit too easy or bit like an excuse but … it’s all because of age (not because of hormons!!). Women around the 40s … OMG. I was so scared of the big 4 … but as soon as I was 40 I thought: Wow! I am woman who is confident, with experience, still hungry for development. Nobody can tell me “What do you know?”
I realized: I know a lot and so do a lot other women around 40 that I know. And we can be proud of ourselves.
And changes are good. It means we are still longing for development. And isn’t it exciting? It’s a journey, nothing to be afraid of. It’s an adventure. And of course we try to live healthier because we enjoy life so much. This is normal, right?
I do understand that changes like yours can be confusing. I even changed my whole wardrobe. I minimized because all the beautiful stuff I had felt like ballast. And you know what? I sold the clothes, shoes etc. on my birthday party and all the money I receieved (1000 Euros!!!) I donated to a refugee foundation. I don’t have a caspule wardrobe, I don’t think this would work for me. But my wardrobe is lighter, I feel lighter, fresher …. yet I don’t know where my journey of changes will lead me to. But I am excited and full of expectations.
So enjoy. It is a rollercoaster ride, but so cool, right?
Simplement un grand merci Garance de nous faire partager ton cheminement personnel. ” Il y a des tas d’adolescences dans la vie “, tu résumes parfaitement quelque chose que nous sommes beaucoup à vivre à différents stades de notre évolution perso et pro. Et même si c’est déstabilisant vivement ton nouveau “moi” !
Merci Garance pour ce touchant message.
Tout ça me parle énormément à 40 ans et des poussières, après un divorce, une vie sentimentale que j’aime me compliquer et toujours trop de questions et d’angoisses.
J’ai une question : Comment cela est-il perçu par les autres au tour de toi ? Et surtout par ta famille, ton amoureux (qui t’a rencontrée et que tu as séduit en mode “ancienne Garance”), ton équipe ? Le changement semble énorme, donc comment le vivent t’ils ?
Bonne route en tous cas …
Non mais sérieux, tu fumes? je n’ai jamais vu passer une cigarette ou un cendrier par ici!
Ah oui, un jour, mon chef m’a dit “vous n’allez pas vieillir, vous allez grandir”. Bah, ça doit être ce que tu vis en ce moment!
chrysalide…j’adore ce mot!
Thank you for your honesty, you’r still my favorite Garance ;)
(from Portugal)
And please let me know how to become balanced ;) i am that messy girl always wanting to loose those 5 extra kilos
MATURITY LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!
Same! this must be the year of rebirth…xx
You are the best!
I’ve been reading you for a long time now and at 50 I can say that the conditioning of what middle age is ‘suppose’ to be like for women a TOTAL fallacy. It’s full of possibility. It’s sexy. It’s owning it. And as cliche as it may be, 40 truly is a beginning. Woman over a certain age rarely see ourselves reflected back to us. I come here because I know I’ll see women like Linda Rodin in the mix. As you enter into this new phase, I for one am so excited to see a grown ass woman slay.
Bonjour Garance,
Je te lis depuis des années, et je voudrais te remercier pour tout ce que tu partages avec tes lecteurs; j’admire ta capacité à te livrer sans tomber dans le dévoilement total de ton intimité, ta façon de parler de tes incertitudes tout en restant une source d’inspiration pour chacun(e) de nous, ta manière d’évoluer avec grâce et ton humour constant, qui malgré tes changements, reste toujours bien présent. Bien qu’ayant 20 ans de moins que toi, je me sens toujours proche des questions que tu soulèves, qui sont à la fois si personnelles et si universelles ! J’ouvre ton blog tous les matins en buvant mon café, et il m’aide toujours à aborder la journée à venir avec un oeil positif, curieux, créatif. Tu es pour moi bien plus qu’une blogueuse mode, tu es une véritable écrivaine -le style d’écriture, la fluidité, l’émotion, les questions, tout y est, tu pourrais même écrire des romans j’en suis sûre! En bref, un grand merci à toi et à ton équipe pour avoir créé bien plus qu’un site mode, à savoir un vrai espace de partage et d’inspiration.
Je suis hyper contente que tu sois “de retour”! Pour moi tu n’es pas en train de changer
mais de laisser ton “vrai toi” ressortir….Et ça me fait très plaisir,pour nous lectrices et surtout
pour toi. Je viens de finir un livre qui a tout a voir avec ce sujet,et je te conseille vivement:
“Le jour où j’ai appris à vivre”. De Laurent Gounelle
Bon courage et beaucoup de bonheur.
Merci Garance pour toujours garder cette authenticité. J’ai toujours autant de plaisir à te lire et à suivre PMF :)
J’aime tes articles mode, carrières etc… Mais la vraie raison pour laquelle je viens ici, c’est pour les articles comme celui ci. C’est ce qui fait que ce site n’est pas un site lifestyle comme les autres.
Chère Garance,
Tu m’as touché des dizaines de fois sur ce blog, que je suis depuis 8 ans déjà…(mmmm…mais je prends un coup de vieux rien qu’en l’écrivant) j’aurais mille choses à te raconter sur les drôles de coïncidences parfois qui me reliait encore davantage à ton blog (rupture en simultanée ou presque ; envie de yoga ; de voyage ; de changement de coupe de cheveux haha etc..) Moment d’ancrage aussi de me poser ici et te lire (ainsi que l’équipe) regarder tes superbes photos, tes vidéos, apprendre et découvrir.
Tu m’as inspiré aussi …Oui! Oui !
Ce post aujourd’hui qui me parle tellement me donne envie pour la première 1/de t’écrire (bah pour la 2eme fois je crois en 8 ans) mmmm…je suis un peu timide et 2/ de te remercier sincèrement et du fond du coeur pour tout !!!
… bise de Paris
So refreshing! So authentic!
We will all embrace your new you and love you even more because you will remind us of the simple things we all long for but so easily forget: love, happiness, security etc. which a fancy runaway or different designer clothes every day can only so deceitfully substitute. And you have hit the nail in the head (and made my day with your comments about fashion – don’t get me wrong, I like to be dressed well but I realised the happiness from a new pair of shoes lasts exactly 10 minutes, in the time before I buy them). We don’t want to be pieces in a system created without our will. And we don’t want to be blinded by false promises just to keep the economy going in a futile loop.
Congratulations for being brave and honest. I salute someone with your voice in the world wide web.
To new beginnings! x
Post de toute beauté Garance!MERCI,MERCI,MERCI,MERCI,MERCI,xxx
“Don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands. You are not going to be you, fixed and immutable you, forever.”
? Nora Ephron
Hi Garance :) I don’t usually comment on posts however after reading this I felt compelled to write something. As someone of a similar age and going through a very similar thought process and experience at the moment it was so refreshing to read. I really appreciate your honesty and ability to just put yourself out there and write about something that most people have a difficult time thinking about let alone discussing. As you can see from the many positive comments, you have started a conversation that many of us out there want to be a part of. As a mentor once told me it’s good to open yourself up to conversations you normally wouldn’t be part of. My thoughts for you, from one Taurean to another are don’t lose your sense of humour and your unique point of view as these are the things that continue to make you, you.
Bonjour Garance,
Merci pour ce post. J’ai l’impression d’y lire ma propre histoire….
Cette transformation, j’en suis sûre, va nous ramener à celles que nous sommes vraiment, nous reconnecter à celles qui étaient bien cachées tout au fond de nous et que nous n’avons pas encore osé dévoiler….
C’est bon de pouvoir te lire car tu arrives à mettre des mots là où je n’ose pas encore…alors, merci, merci beaucoup!
Bon courage à toi <3
Thank you for this.
Oooooh Garance ce post arrive pile poil pour moi Merci Merci Merci #garanceDoréaddict #GaranceDoréPower
Welcome to life in the 40s! Thanks for sharing. Certainly rings a lot of bells here :)
This post comes at a perfect time, when I’m going through something similar. Thank you for your words and sharing your uncertainty and excitement with us – I look forward to the evolution. xo.
love u more
congrats for beeing wise still loving u
Thank you Garance. I am 64 and have been reading you for years. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I am very excited to follow your journey. I love your writing and hope you continue to post interviews. You have an authentic connection with people. Avanti!
Wow, I am so impressed with you right now. In the world of Facebook and everyone constantly putting out daily “press releases” it is so refreshing for someone to be honest.
Let me tell you one thing I’ve learned ….. you can be THIS and THAT at the same time … you can meditate and still love a good accessory. My most beloved yoga teacher loves makeup and she is the most spiritual person I know.
Bravo Garance, for traveling down the long, bumpy road of self knowledge.
So inspiring. Thanks for sharing/confirming what I’m going through! Love your interviews. I’ve been married 26 years and it’s so funny and surprising to see one’s spouse change, too. All to the better.
I think everyone strives to find that place where we finally move beyond who we “think” are, and become who we really are. We decide to look inside and realize that the outside is for us to view, not to identify with. Love this Garance! I still think Kombucha, fashion, fun and laughter can be friends.
Fantastic! I hope this means you will be writing more frequently for the blog/website. I started following originally because I loved your writing. I do love fashion, but honestly I just want to read Garance’s take on the world.
Brava!! Amazing. We are always in a state of “becoming” aren’t we? That’s what makes life (and us!) eternally fascinating. I applaud your courage and self-awareness. :)
http://www.lovethatbag.ca
Brava for your eloquent post………………. for your frankness and thought provoking ideas which are positive and nourishing to read.
Each of us is growing and changing everyday, but making the decision to turn ones life into a ‘work of art’, is a choice! Thank you.
This is my favourite blog of all and, Garance, you are amazing ! Change is always good :)
??? thank you for your humor and openness!
its funny how I see my own reflection in your writings.
maybe a lot of people out there are going through the same journey.
how wonderful!
Exactly what I needed to read! And I’m sure that goes for so many other people! This speaks to my heart on so many levels! Thank you!!
Thank you Garance. I have gone through a similar journey over recent years [I’m sure you must hear that a lot!]. My shift began with the arrival of my son 8 years ago and leaving my career as a fashion editor. I lost my shell, and had to go through a very long and difficult process of rediscovering myself without the familiar labels I had defined myself by. That struggle is the making of us. When we peel away the layers we uncover our true selves. I heard a quote from Brené Brown recently that spoke to me about women who age gracefully – they deal with their baggage so it doesn’t weigh them down – I think you are dealing beautifully and aging gracefully. Félicitations! Keep going xx
I completely get this – I have changed so many habits that became character traits almost ( bonding over copious glasses of wine, ‘treating’ myself to some amazing cake – or 3- deciding not to ‘put myself through’ going to the gym etc). For me the thing I’ve learned is to accept that nothing is permanent and I’m not the finished product. The rock & roll side is still there, it comes out occasionally, maybe because it needs to,because I need to blot my copybook, kick against my own rules occasionally. The difference is that I accept that I know what makes me happy- meditation, exercise, sleep, laughter, some quiet time..and occasional rebellion!
I think this is extremely brave of you Garance and can’t wait to follow your new adventures with your new self! x
You’re amazing. Keep doing what you do. Staying the same to me is a lot more boring. Change and evolution are exciting. (And Kombucha is really delicious, I swear by it!)
Happy for you, Garance! Meditation was a big life changer for me. I tried Kombucha, but hated it. :) xo
Ah this so resonates with me – exactly what I am going through !
And btw – I think it’s called growing up! ;)
Prolooooooonged teenage phase is gone – fir better or worse ….
I actually thing cingratulations are in order – but it might be too soon ;)
It is like you and me are the same person lately !
Burnout, on influences, and now THIS – especially this!
We are also two European women who recently moved to North America – so there is that as well…
Changes are one thing and they are indeed constant – but this process of giving birth to a Whole New Self – is no short of an actual New Life emerging miracle … you can feel layers shedding , you can almost feel pain of delivering a new born (body almost collapses = yeah that burnout) , then fragility of that new born that now needs a lot of attention and nourishment and you are trying to figure out who this person is ….
Also – Our attitudes and minds change quicker than our bodies , and I found that it is crucial to give enough time and space and nourishment to our bodies to catch up … So yes, I do find just like you that being more gentle towards myself and heaving more healthy rituals suddenly came almost organically – body craves it …It depends it!
But it seems we are not alone in all this , they say “as above so below” , so I thought you might like this astro reading for upcoming New Moon (=New You :)).
http://astro-awakenings.co.uk/current-trends-end-of-september-beginning-of-october-2016
Happy Re-Birth(ing Period) !
Good Luck = Merde ! ;)
Oh Garance,
I love this post. It is what I think growing up is all about. I have made some big changes to the way I see fashion too – it used to be about I want that bag, that shoe and that…. and now it is who needs all this stuff and yet I still love style and so I have become the change I want to see. I still occasionally buy new stuff but I now up cycle my old clothes and buy from upshots. I realised I was not alone when I recently heard Clair Press speak and then read her book Wardrobe Crisis – it was everything I had been going through whilst still adoring a stylish aesthetic. Call it the zeitgeist but you are not alone. Can’t wait to see more from you. Cheers Cathy
Dear Garance,
Your honesty, curiosity and style had always inspired me and – I am sure – all of us who is reading your blog. People are changing constantly that is super exciting, you cannot just sit back and tell around 30, ‘OK, my personality is ready, I do not have to take care about it or others around me, because I am super-stable for the rest of my life.’
Your change is also part of your story, that is always a pleasure to read. Sharing all your thoughts, fears and questions about life distinguishes you from others in the ‘fashion industry’ because we can see you are a real, flesh and blood woman with feelings and problems like all the other women have. I do not know you personally and maybe it sound silly, but reading you is like talking to an old friend…and no matter what happens to you, I am sure it will stay the same.
Thank you for the past years and waiting for the next ones! ;)
xx
Dear Garance.
I’m excited for you and being as honest and welcoming change,as you do is rock and roll.
Wow!!! This is such a deeply honest and personal post, Garance. It’s much easier to look back and describe a process of reinvention after the fact rather than in the midst of it. I admire your candor. This resonates with me. Though I’m older than you (turned 55 while traveling Italy/Paris-swoon- in July), I retired from school psychology on the first day eligible to draw pension. THAT was BOLD!! Now I have the time to continue building my Style*Mind*Chic Life blog, online boutique and am diving head first into a travel consulting business. It feels like I am 18 years old, AGAIN!!! It’s heady, exciting and nervewracking all at the same time. I relate to your reinvention and the bold steps it takes to make it happen. Thank you for sharing this post today.
xx, Heather @ Style*Mind*Chic Life
Merci beaucoup Garance!! Très belle article. Tu es un femme fantastique et inspirant!
Je me reconnais aussi beaucoup de ces changemants dont tu parle. Je voyage la Sicilia et je me retrouve dans un manière aussi que je connais pas, mais en même temps c’est aussi comme je retrouve simplement mon coeur, d’être moi même naturellement sans d’avoir m’expliquer tous les temps a toute Le monde;) quoi.
Aussi je reconnais un developpement chez mes copines aussi, de prendre plus de temps por soi même, de dire non plus souvent, ça sent comme un changement feminin universelle:)))!!
Keep on shining Babe!
Xxx Djoeke
Wow! This is so beautiful, thankyou for sharing and being so honest.
Congratulations for ten amazing years! I look forward to seeing how the next ten unfold for you and Madonna!
xxxxxxxxxx
You have evolved a lot before our eyes and you will continue to do so, because you have a very healthy and honest core…Having a very vulnerable heart that will often tell you to choose the more difficult path is a challenge, but in the end you will always benefit from it, in a creative, personal and in professional way. If you don’t mind me being so frank, I think that every artist has to be very honest with oneself and that is what you’re doing now…it is not easy but it is meaningful. Remember that even rock stars write ballads, in fact those are my favourite kind of ballads.
We’re all different people with different points of our life and that’s normal. Change is not only healthy but necessary. As cliche as it sounds, being true to ourselves is not only the best way, it is the only way to keep our integrity. What is so fascinating about fashion is that there are so many aspects of it, you can always focus on what interested you the most, or you can do your own thing in whatever area. What ever you decide to do, you will continue to rock…because that is what you are!
Merci Garance, pour ta justesse et ta générosité.
Love
Marion
Merci Garance, tu m’as ému aux larmes… merci pour ta simplicité et ton partage. Ces moments de transformation dans la vie sont tellement exceptionnels, et imprévisibles … ils posent en nous de nouvelles bases pour des prochaines aventures… Have fun, toujours, pas dans le sens superficiel, la fête et tout… mais dans le sens, s’amuser avec toi même, celle que tu portes au fond de toi, et qui danse, et change de danse parfois aussi… ;)
Merci beaucoup,
bisous
Merci Garance. Your “one last thing” was just what I needed….
Looking forward to Garance 2.0 (or 3.0 or 4.0 or wherever you find yourself)….
J’aime toujours autant ( et ce depuis le début) tes textes d’une sincèrité saisissante !
MERCI
Beautiful piece! I especially love this line: ‘Il y a des tas d’adolescences dans la vie.’
I love that I found this post of yours. It feels so good to read it as I’ve being having a similar experience this year…and haven’t really known what to make of it! Suddenly my tastes are changing in what I like to do, to wear, who I want to spend time with, even what I want to eat, how I think about life. I’m like who is the person I’m becoming?… I’m just getting to know my new self in little steps and surprises. And you are right…as these changes are happening on the inside, on the outside there is a need to keep up some kind of appearance that yourself and people are used to at least in terms of work…while you work out what is happening. And that can be so hard. I like what you say about adolescence happening many times in a life time. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It feels good to relate! Your writing is so refreshing.
xx
You’re evolving…becoming the BEST you! like a butterfly!
I’m confused by this blog now…why all the old posts? I feel like I’m reading yesterday’s news.
Hi Julie- We always share older content on our social channels! We mix it up with our new content and share older stories that we love! Hope this clears up any confusion! xo Brittany (social media editor)
I could totally relate to everything you shared. When I first experienced it, I thought it was strange, then found myself easing through a kind of flow, something telling me that it was alright to experience. I quit smoking with minimal effort, I began to enjoy occasional sip more than bottomless drinking, I have gotten better at finding time to do things I like and love. I enjoy knowing that I am becoming comfortable with the idea of excellence, not necessarily perfection. I am finding that the key to balance is listening to myself and setting the demands of the world in its proper place. I’m discovering new interests, exciting relTionships and a new fascination for living. Life is challenging and fraught with risks, but I believe I am becoming more aware rather than fearful, adventurous more than careless and wiser more than merely clueless and uncaring. I love reading thorough your account and knowing that I share a life path with others. Thank you for sharing. Bisouxxx ~ Sam