Monster Moms
5 years ago by
Je ne peux pas dire que je sois particulièrement intéressée par le scandale des admissions frauduleuses à l’université d’il y a quelques semaines (soyons honnêtes, nous savons quasiment tous que les gens célèbres/riches passent en premier dans les admissions), mais j’ai quand même regardé les portraits qui ont été faits de Felicity Huffman et Lori Loughlin dans les médias. Même si Loughlin et son mari sont tous les deux poursuivis (mais pas William H. Macy en revanche), nous avons vu plein de unes de tabloïds et d’articles sur ces femmes, les mères, et pas tellement sur leurs maris.
Et puis il y a eu, il y a deux semaines, cette une de US Weekly avec pour gros titre “Les secrets de ces mères monstrueuses”. Même si je n’approuve absolument pas le fait que ces parents aient donné des pots de vin pour faire entrer leurs enfants à l’université, ou pour qu’ils aient de meilleures notes, on peut quand même remarquer que le scandale porte uniquement sur les femmes, et pas sur elles et leurs maris. Même si William H. Macy n’est pas poursuivi, il est évident d’après les reportages qu’ils savait parfaitement ce qui se passait, et je pense qu’on peut raisonnablement dire qu’il est plus célèbre que Lori Loughlin, et peut-être même plus que sa femme. Mais on ne voit pourtant pas sa photo en une des tabloïds.
Tout ça pour dire : honte aux médias qui contiennent à perpétuer ces stéréotypes sur les femmes et les mères, sans tenir leurs partenaires responsables d’actions pour lesquelles on ne peut pas blâmer que ces femmes. Maintenant que je suis mariée, j’ai remarqué que très souvent, je suis ramenée à la position “d’épouse” ou de “compagne” (jamais par mon mari ! Juste par tous les autres) et je trouve ça incroyablement injuste que les femmes aient à souffrir une perte d’identité dans certaines situations, et aient à porter seules toute la responsabilité dans d’autres. Est-ce que d’autres gens trouvent ça très frustrant ? Ou il n’y a que moi ?
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I think that is why the « Me Too » movement struck such a cord. Society is so used to women being singled out and slighted that it barely registers that there were husbands making these decisions too. You don’t write a check for $500,000 without your spouses approval. But the awful celebrity mom sells so many more stories.
It is getting harder not to notice all the bias that we face every day. Hopefully we keep speaking out and not accepting this as status quo.
I am a relatively new mother and I am constantly astounded by the way we are perceived as mothers and I never thought I’d be one to care. I am forever aware of what I am saying and doing in public to ensure I’m not negatively judged, as I have become acutely aware that every move we make seems to be picked to pieces. My husband on the other hand is only ever admired as a father and all he has to do is be seen with them.
Take note though on the magazine cover that there is a story about Meghan and Kate, unfortunately we remain in a world where (mostly other woman) love to fault woman and just love to see them feuding or pinning them against one another. (How wonderful would it be if Meghan and Kate were seen as a female force together instead of bitching woman?!) Fortunately that seems to be changing slowly because of people like you guys and websites like this! Thank you.
I completely agree that the husbands/father were obviously aware of this. I find it interesting that in both cases, the actresses have 2 daughters. I wonder if it would be different if the children were boys and they had gotten in to schools based on more ‘typical’ male sports like football?? Often times there is the whole ‘mommy dearest’ applied to situations when daughters are involved.. just a thought
I agree Sharon! Interesting point.
Really well said – based on all the reporting, William H Macy was completely aware of what was going on, and I’m unclear on why he’s not being charged. And considering Loughlin’s husband IS being charged, it’s crazy that he’s not on any of these covers with them.
Vilifying women while their husbands remain mostly unscathed is down to the media’s coverage of these events – « Monster Moms » is catchier, apparently, than « Monster Parents » – and it’s frustrating to continue to see how much media coverage colors a story. What they did was awful, but they weren’t alone in it. (Also, the whole story is not exactly shocking; when our own President seems to have used his money and influence for worse things, it’s hard to be too appalled.)
You’re absolutely right. It is very unfair how women are being singled out that way. It is always the mother who is to blame, even if it is obviously that the father must have known as well.
William Macy wasn’t charged and so he isn’t a focus for the media. Lori Loughlin’s husband wasn’t a household name and most people wouldn’t have recognized him (that’s changed a bit now), so he wasn’t the main focus of the media either. Sometimes it’s not about gender.