Modern Families
9 years ago by
If you were hiding under a rock somewhere, you probably didn’t see Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover. It was huge news this week (eclipsing even Kim’s news that she’s pregnant again), and it’s been really interesting, thinking about what makes a family today…
That’s also something we’ve been talking about more on the blog.
Not many of us in the Studio have that typical, “nuclear family”. I have stepparents, my dad’s adopted, I have enough cousins to start a revolution probably. But that’s not so out of step with everyone else’s — we all kind of have crazy family histories and really intricate family trees. So, what makes a normal family now, in the dynamic world of today?
So, I was thinking about this when I cam across this really intimate video featuring Josephine Skriver. She’s a model, who has a really interesting family dynamic — both of there parents are gay, and found each other using a newsletter in Denmark…
I love how open she is about her experiences, and how enlightening her story is of the struggles she faces on social media and in everyday life. And we’ve seen a bit of that in response to Bruce coming out as Caitlyn in the most public of ways. But, who are we to judge?
Maybe it’s (finally!) about time to start celebrating.
So, what do you think? Does a “normal” family even exist now? What does yours look like?
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I’m happy for Caitlyn that she can finally live as the women she has always felt she was.
My family could not be more conventional, both my husband’s and my parents have been married 50 years, I live with my husband and we have two children. I met him when I was 35 though; before that I was single for a few years and my “family” included my group of very close single girlfriends. We are still sister-close even though we’re all married with kids now.
I work with children though, so I see all kinds of families all the time. I celebrate them all, as long as they each individually provide a nurturing environment for any children they may have to grow up.
*En couverture du Vanity Fair plutôt.
Three months ago, my 43 year old brother came out as transgender. We grew up in a “normal” Catholic family. From my brother’s earliest memories, he knew he was a girl on the inside. He remembers watching daytime talk shows where “transvestites” were presented as freaks and thought to himself, “That’s not me! I’m not a freak!” He remembers once trying on my plastic jelly shoes and that I caught him. He left the house for hours, convinced he had been found out. I, of course, thought nothing more than that he was an irritating kid brother. When he first told me this winter, his visible pain was heart-stopping. No one — not his wife, his children, his parents, or four siblings — ever knew he was struggling let alone that he had gender dysphoria. He presented as 100% male in both appearance and actions. He finally came out because he was suicidal. It’s one thing to watch the Jenner transition unfold on a public stage and it is another thing to live it in one’s private life. Gratefully, everyone in the family has been loving and supportive. Not that any of this is easy. It is mind-bending, for sure. I now have one less brother and one more sister. I’m also having the best conversations with him that I’ve ever had. His lifelong barriers are gone and he is now free to live his life with “the soul of a woman.” (I still refer to him, instead of “her,” because he is in the very first stages of transitioning and he’s asked us not to get hung up on pronouns because it’s just not important right now.) He wonders daily what caused him to be born this way. We even digitized 1,000 childhood slides last weekend so he could piece together parts of his childhood to try to make sense of his gender dysphoria. I don’t wonder why, it is what it is and he should be accorded the respect every human being deserves. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Thank you for opening up about your complex family – it’s so true that this is the world we live in today, for better or worst. My parents are divorced :)
Warm Regards,
Alexandra
http://www.littlewildheart.com
Caitlyn looks amazing
http://hashtagliz.com
Quand Josephine Skriver dit de ses attaques personnelles “It comes from a place I can’t understand.” c’est exactement ça pour moi.
Je suis encore très jeune (19 ans) donc je crois que je suis de la génération où, les personnes qui ne sont pas considérés “la norme” ne sont absolument pas différentes ou intriguantes. Je crois qu’on ne peut que respecter quelqu’un qui vit son entité et revendique ce qu’il veut être. Que cette personne sente vraiment que c’est son physique, son caractère, ses désirs et pensées et qu’elle soit fière d’être elle même et de s’admirer pour ça. Je vois beaucoup de gens dire sur internet que les personnes LGBTQ ne devraient pas faire/ne devraient pas avoir à faire de coming out ou “s’afficher” que ce soit dans la vie réelle ou sur n’importe quel réseau social… Je pense que c’est un acte fort et que revendiquer qui on est c’est important et une manière de construire sa confiance en soi. Comme ça devrait être le cas pour des hétéro s’ils veulent faire la même chose. Ou bien le droit de ne pas se revendiquer si l’on n’en a pas envie ou qu’on ne sait pas qui on est, ou encore qu’on ne veuille pas se définir. Chacun doit avoir le choix d’être qui il veut et d’être respecté pour ça. Personnellement je suis fière de toutes ces personnes qui s’aiment et veulent bien le dire.
What a beautiful piece. It saddens me that Josephine grew up with so much love yet went out into the world to find it questioned her very existence. I wish that people didn’t throw out so easily, “well, that’s life” because it doesn’t need to be. If we all took a moment to truly see and connect imagine how much kinder our lives would be. x
Couldn’t have guessed about her. I am still surprised.
Did it ever really existed?
Je viens d’une famille très conventionnelle, mes parents sont mariés depuis 45 ans et j’ai une soeur. Tout semblait indiquer que nous aussi nous aurions des familles conventionnelles, mais la vie est riche et nous a fait (à ma soeur et moi) le cadeau de nous faire vivre des choses différentes et qui ont enrichi notre schéma familial classique. Ma soeur a eu 2 enfants, a divorcé et s’est remariée et a eu un autre enfant. De mon côté, je me suis mariée avec un papa divorcé avec 3 enfants qui vivaient avec lui (vivent toujours avec lui), la maman a refait sa vie avec une femme et elles viennent d’avoir 2 enfants et nous allons avoir 1 enfant aussi! :) Ce qui est difficile pour les enfants c’est le regard des autres, et de la société sur ce qui est arrivé à leurs parents, mais à l’intérieur de la grande cellule familiale, c’est plutôt riche! Et quelle richesse d’avoir tous ces grands-parents/oncles/tantes/cousins pour les enfants (chaque famille de chaque pièces rapportées en plus des autres), d’avoir tous ces adultes différents autour d’eux mais qui les aiment inconditionnellement! Je ne changerai rien pour rien au monde.
An insurance company of all did a research in Denmark and found, I think, 38 different types of family structures. Just shows you that there is no such thing as a “normal” family.
P.S. Josephine Skriver is the coolest ;)
Bonjour Le Studio !
Je suis une grande fanatique de ce blog puisque j’ai lu chaque article ou presque depuis 5 années au moins …
Mais je me disais justement récemment que la seule chose qui lui manquait à mon sens était un peu plus de diversité: less beautiful people & more average people…. Et cet article va dans ce sens, je trouve ça super et j’espère avoir l’occasion de lire plus de choses dans cet esprit ! La beauté ne réside pas dans la perfection, et nous ne sommes pas parfaits; ça serait bien que la blogosphère reflète cette réalité là :)
Merci pour votre travail en tout cas, c’est un plaisir quotidien !
I believe that normal family is the one where all members care about each other and also support each other. Who it consists from doesn’t really matter :-)
Ahhh…”normal” families never existed. They were just private… It is a phenomenal waste of time to dissect everyones private life. Time that would be better spent learning to crochet or build birdhouses honestly… Very mysterious why everyone thinks all of this is such big news. It would just be nice if everyone was a bit more tolerant that’s all.