10 years ago by

I thought I had him under control this time. Fashion Week Monster had been tamed. My wardrobe is made up of my favorite clothes alongside a few cool newcomers but everything felt like me and gave off total New Garance vibes.

I mean, let’s not even start on the subject of my new haircut and the millions of adorable comments you all left me. I felt their positivity for hours (okay, days) after. This has to be what Gisele feels like every second of her life, no?
Seriously though, you guys are way too nice!!!

(Kidding. Keep ’em coming as long as you’d like.)

So floating on my little cloud, I thought that right before Paris would be a great time to have a little beauty trip.
With a stupid expression like that, I should have seen the warnings.

I made an appointment at the derm, the colorist, because I was in the mood for a change, and on top of that, I thought to myself that a woman as cool and as organized as me shouldn’t been seen a second longer without first getting waxed, as I had not had time to shave during fashion week because I could only be bothered to think about one thing: being divine and fabulous.


#1 Retro-Laser

Off I was to the derm for a little laser treatment. My skin is prone to imperfections which is called, well, I don’t really know what it’s called but – sensitive readers, please skip to the next paragraph – it’s like some of my pores get all excited and make small cysts that exist for one thing and one thing only: to get zapped by a retro-laser. Gross, yeah, ew.

Once I showed my derm the zones to attack, he seemed pretty excited himself. Bzzz, krshhhhh, zoooooon, and I left happy like person newly liberated from some evil occupants. I was gonna be prettaaaaay!

The next day, as I was passing by a mirror, I performed my new gesture of checking if I was still Gisele checking my loose strands to make sure they were in place.

That’s when I saw them.
The little crusties. The little crusties from the laser are just as ugly as the word itself (crusty, is the word so gross because it describes something so gross?)(or the opposite?)(What came first the chicken or the… Ok) and made me look like Garance circa 15 years old. Where’s my Clearasil and let’s put on a Cure CD (yes, mesdames and messieurs, a CD, I’m not so old to have been raised with audiotapes).

Argh. Crap. So blissed out by my beauty victories, I totally forget about the side-effects of the laser treatment.

#2 I don’t care if Monday’s blue, Tuesday’s grey, and Wednesday too.

You know, who cares though? A sublime color and a sublime haircut will bring the attention upward. And there’s nothing a five inches of foundation can’t fix, right, Robert Smith? and I was still rolling from my hair triumph from the past few days.

So off I went to the colorist whose name I will not mention but who came super highly recommended to me. So with a smile, I walked in, ready to hand him my future.

I gave him my hair without even thinking about it, and only gave him one instruction: “Anything you want is fine, just nothing darker.” I even went on to show how ballsy I was by saying, “Sometime this spring, I’m gonna go platinum blonde. Yeah, I know. I’m so crazy bold aren’t I?!?”


Two hours later, as my hair was getting blown, I slowly was able to see my color in the mirror and suddenly, I thought I was going to choke. Looking right at me, there was definitely a little bit of me there, but more than that, it was definitely…

Robert Smith.

Yes. I kid you not.
Black raven hair in every direction with a few caramel touches on the ends, the least flattering thing (Hello dark circles!!! How you been?!) and the most depressing look I’ve ever had.

I wanted to cry but I had nothing in there. I picked my courage up off the floor and asked nicely if he cover up the “highlights” that were giving my hair its burnt-acid look. Then I took my sorrow downstairs with drugs, sex, and rock ‘n roll millions of texts my army of expert friends who gave me a few directives:

“Just got have another color made!” (Translation: Burn your hair to nothingness)
“Wash it with an anti-dandruff shampoo!” (Translation: Are you implying something there? “No! It’ll take some of the color out! Wait… You thought I was saying that you had dan…”)
“Shampoo your hair with hydrogen peroxide!” (Translation: #notarealfriend)

So I weighed my options and then decided to attack the hair with some anti-dandruff shampoo. It didn’t do much. So pretty much, I decided to wait it out. My hair will grow back. Live and let live, that’s what she said.

#3 The Waxanation

Yeah, this one wasn’t supposed to go this way either.

So I still decided to materialize at the spa below my house, with my skin of a 15-year-old and my Robert Smith hair, close to depression and with my ego properly stuffed into the bottoms of my shoes.

And I decided to start with NOT getting my nails red, because who was I to think I could pull red nails off. Uh?

Still, there resided deep within me some spark of self-esteem and I decided to go through with the waxing. If I wasn’t going to be divine, I’d at least feel super neat.

I went to the back room, got half-naked for the esthetician who went about her work when suddenly I remember….

[Interlude : New York Nail Spa
Okay, so in New York Nail Spas, a lot of the time the estheticians don’t speak very good English. that said, they still speak their native language really well and don’t hesitate to speak it in front of you so you don’t understand a word they’re saying. And I don’t know why but they didn’t like my hair at all and expressed it to me with GRIMACES, yes GRIMACES, when I answered their question, “Cut your hair?” Yeah okay, everyone has their own tastes, I suppose, but still, did they have to go speaking in their own language and laughing at me? I stopped trying to understand what they were saying and decided to not jump to conclusions about what they were saying but c’mon now]

(Not the waffle here folks… Ego.)

… that my legs don’t really do well with waxing.

One of the very good reasons that I shave is that my sensitive skin gets all rashy when they put the hot wax on.

Stuck on the table, I asked the esthetician (who didn’t understand a single word I was saying) to be SUPER careful. She changed the wax three times. I tried to make myself believe everything was going just fine.

I don’t need to paint you a picture here. There I was, 45 minutes later, hairless from top to bottom, but with skin about as attractive as Freddy from A Nightmare on Elm Street (sorry for all the 90s references, you kids out there, someone has to load you up on the basic landmarks of our fine culture, and today, that someone is me.)

So I can’t even use my legs to distract from my head during fashion week. I thought I had defeated once and for all the Fashion Week Monster, but given the evidence….



(The epilogue, okay?)

Okay. So a few days and 243 anti-dandruff shampoos later, you could say my color has softened some. Now I’m more Kris Jenner, believe it or not, which is definitely an improvement. I can live with my black hair until it grows back. My “acne” ended up healing (I send a prayer to you, oh magic organ of the epidermis). I promise to tell you about my new derm.
As for my legs, I decided that the waxanation wasn’t as visible after a few days and I could wear skirts if I wanted to, who cares? (Now, the ingrown hairs are starting to stick their little heads out)(Oh the joys of womanhood).

But more than anything, it’s useless to get too caught up in the drama. It’ll grow back. It’ll heal up. It all changes. And it all gives you a story to tell!
(That’s what I think on the good days. The bad days? I just cry a little ;)

Translation : Tim Sullivan


Add yours
  • Garance, j’ai le meme probleme que toi quant a la peau trop sensible pour l’epilation et j’ai teste l’IPL (d’abord en salon puis je me suis acheté le Philips Lumea) et ca m’a changé la vie! Highly recommended! Voila, bonne journée et bonne fin de fashion week :)

  • dur dur d’etre… femme! :)


  • You poor thing!!! It’ll be better soon, dn’t worry.
    Have you seen the episode of Sex and the City where Samatha gets a skin treatment and ends up losing one layer of skin?

    Well, it happened to my cousin! She felt bad for a couple of days but then her skin was perfect, like a baby!

    Xoxo! Cory

  • Tellement rassurant de se rendre compte qu’on n’est pas la seule à avoir tous ces petits (gros) soucis de femme ;)

    (tu fais epilation laser + cire … comment ca ?

  • Pour les poils incarnés, le top c’est la crème corporelle Avène “Akérat” qui est radicale!

  • ohhh Garance!

    You got a fabulous haircut which now shows off your beautiful face.

    You are gorgeous….. everyone can see that. dont try to hide it/compensate with all this other ‘stuff’.
    Just Glow.

  • Garance, tu me fais rêver.
    Quoi de mieux à lire de bon matin avant de bosser ?
    On a toutes des lubies (comme aller chez le coiffeur) et on en ressort déprimé et on se disait qu’en fait c’était bien (mieux) avant et qu’on aurait pas du se presser tant que ça.

    Pour les poils incarnés, j’ai une idée: lançons la mode des jambes poilus (parfait pour l’hiver non ? ^^)

  • Waouh! Quelle aventure! Finalement tout est bien qui fini bien! Fin prête pour la fashion week…

  • Elizabeth October, 1 2013, 5:09 / Reply

    Never let colourists have a free hand, they don’t have to live with the consequences. Demand swatches & describe very clearly what you want. they are visual so bring pictures. My wonderful colourist wanted to see a picture of my hair when I was pre-teen & it was very blonde so that she could understand the shades that suit my skin.

    I have had to learn not to have any skin treatment close to any important occasion & to avoid facials in general. I really sympathise.

    I had IPL because I was very sensitive to waxing. I worked out that it only had to work for 2 years to justify the cost. Actually 10 years on it’s still very good & the time saved is priceless (& no more waiting for the hair to be long enough to wax)

    Time is a great healer, though so enjoy what’s left of fashion month

  • Victoria October, 1 2013, 5:17 / Reply

    Allez bon courage je suis sûre que la fashion week parisienne sera quand même “magnifyyyyque”.
    Ton post est très drôle!!!!
    A quand la list des tenues indispensables pour une fashion week?

  • Très drôle! tu me rassures! je ne suis pas la seule à revenir avec la larme à l’oeil de chez mon dermat et coiffeur! enfin, vu que ta coupe est superbe, c’est pas grave! ;)

  • Bel épilogue ! merci pour ce moment de vie !

  • Je suis triste de voir que tu t’infliges tant de choses désagréables “parce qu’il faut bien”. C’est plutôt un “estime de soi” monster (qui te bouffe a répétition) qui me semble à l’oeuvre ici.

  • Ah, Garance, la perfection à l’Américaine -j’ignore en fait s’il faut une majuscule, mais cela donne une indication de mon état d’esprit- est hors de portée, pour nous “petites” françaises!
    We shouldn’t try the american perfectionism, we are born french!

  • Garance, when are you going to show us your new haircut? I saw the little video but nothing since, have I missed it? Do you have any regrets yet? I’d like to get mine cut but I start trying to grow it out the very next day, so I am waiting…waiting…

  • Aw, so sorry to hear all this Garance. You have a great attitude about it though. Since I went to a hairdresser one day before starting high school, and asked to have hair like Kelly McGillis from Top Gun, but ended up with a white girl afro aka Merino sheep look, I am a total control freak at the hairdressers. I get involved in everything, even have my glasses on during an (extremely complex) highlighting procedure. You just can’t trust those people :D

  • Margaret October, 2 2013, 2:04

    Haha! I had the exact same experience. My high school picture from that year was dubbed the “Chia Meg” picture – as in the Chia pet.

  • ;D Tellement désopilant !
    Vis-ma-vie de Garance : je suis à la fois désolée pour tes mésaventures… d’un autre côté, j’ai ri ! Avec beaucoup de bienveillance et de compassion. Il a pu m’arriver un jour (ou plusieurs) des choses semblables ! ;) Vive la couleur ratée, vive la cire trop chaude et la peau rougie, vive la coupe de de cheveux qui ne plaît pas à tout le monde. (M’enfin, elle est chouette ta coupe ! Si, si. Je suis affirmative.)
    J’ai tout de même une question, si tu en as le temps, un jour.
    Peux-tu m’expliquer cette histoire de laser ? J’ai dans l’idée que cela est intéressant pour la peau… mais à la fois, je trouve cela tellement effrayant. Se mettre dans les mains d’une personne qui peut éventuellement nous cramer la peau si le travail est loupé… je dois avouer que cela me fait peur. Tu nous racontes un peu cela et les conseils sur la façon de choisir le dermato qui aura du bon sens et la main légère ? Cela m’intéresse beaucoup.
    Bonne journée !

  • Olala que de péripéties!

  • Le nuanceur de couleur Christophe Robin (brun froid) est top pour ce genre de “problème” capillaire!
    Cela dit pout t’avoir vu Dimanche c’est loin d’être moche !
    Merci pour ta gentillesse d’ailleurs!

  • aww I hate when things goes wrong at the last minute, but as usual we always find a solution. You are gorgeous lady, no need for all of that.


  • Totallement drole! http://www.lavenue.com/

  • Je vois qu’on a toutes eu au moins une fois dans sa vie ce genre de mésaventures… ça me rassure ;-)

  • Eh ben, dis-donc, c’est quoi ces horribles esthéticiennes moqueuses?
    En France, y’en a pas des comme ça. En tout cas, j’en connais pas (et j’en connais plein, dans mon boulot, j’en côtoie tous les jours). C’est déjà compliqué de se mettre à poil devant des inconnus, si en plus, les inconnus se foutent de toi, c’est rude!
    Je compatis, mais tu m’as quand même bien fait marrer avec tes mésaventures.

  • Lovechoclate October, 1 2013, 6:40 / Reply

    Tu me scotches… le rire et sourire aux lèvres, le plaisir de lire que nous sommes toutes un peu pareil ! Et chaque moment (hors fashion week) peu ressembler à cette dévastitude…
    Olé les filles !


  • pour l’épilation, si tu peux attendre d’être à Paris…ou si ça a repoussé depuis, demande moi en MP l’adresse de mon épilatrice, ça va changer ta vision sur ce que tu décris comme un pur moment de torture.

  • J’ai eu peur pour les LEGO!
    C’est vrais que quand je t’ai vu deux second, je me suis dis: c’est rude l’eau de mer pour les cheveux qui décolore les pointes. Et très vite je suis revenu à la raison car tu les as coupé bien après… Mais maintenant je comprend ;)
    Tu restes sublime!!!

  • Mon dieu la couleur ! Il m’est arrivé la même chose, je fais mes colos depuis des années, parce que j’ai la flemme/pas le temps/pas l’argent de les faire chez le coiffeur et puis ils sont COURTS ! Donc je le fais depuis des années, je prends toujours châtain foncé, les coiffeurs se sont toujours extasiés sur mes cheveux si bruns naturellement (attention pas noir asiatique, mais un foncé très méditerranéen), la colo c’est juste pour cacher mes cheveux blancs, j’adore ma vraie couleur. Ça fait donc des lustres que je choisis toujours la même nuance. Je teste un nouveau produit : trop facile ils proposent noir, châtain foncé et châtain. Je pioche châtain foncé : je ressors noir de jais !!!
    Bien sur 2 jours plus tard j’achetais des lunettes (merci le retour en arrière au collège) : épreuve miroir. Horrible de me voir sous toutes les coutures avec cette couleur artificielle si dure. Bon ça passe, et j’ai racheté la marque en choisissant châtain parce qu’elle est assez tenace (que le mois d’aout fût long et septembre à rallonge…) tout en étant un peu plus douce.

  • @Clao, à peu de choses près, j’aurais pu écrire exactement le même commentaire !
    Pour la toute première fois, j’ai voulu me faire ma couleur moi-même. Un certain “expresso glacé” c’est révélé noir jais effet synthétique au lieu de châtain foncé. Et le lendemain j’étais chez l’opticien pour changer mes lunettes, impossible de faire un choix tellement je ne me reconnaissais pas ;)
    Après 12 shampoings très nourrissants (conseil de de mon armée de copines) c’est devenu un peu plus nuancé. J’ai fait rire pas mal de monde ;)

  • Murielle October, 1 2013, 6:56 / Reply

    Pourquoi as-tu changé de dermato ? Celle de Paris avait l’air tellement bien
    Je ne suis pas sure qu’elle t’aurait abimée la peau avec un laser.
    Sinon la déprime chez le coiffeur, je connais aussi…

  • Je me pose la meme question ! Pourquoi donc avoir change de dermato alors que tu ne jurais que par elle ?

  • Trop drôle! L’épisode du coloriste je connais, sauf que moi je me suis vraiment mise à pleurer après avoir dit à la coiffeuse que mon boulot n’était pas de faire les trottoirs! J’ai d’ailleurs refuser de payer, mes cheveux ont eu beaucoup de mal à s’en remettre!!!!! Pour le reste ouf jamais eu de problèmes.

  • Beaucoup de péripéties!!
    Ça fera des expériences et de conseils pour dépanner quelqu’un!!
    En tout cas c’est vrai que ça repousse, guérit et se met en place…
    Mais c’est très drôle ton histoire “monstre fashion”

  • I have an appointment with a new colorist tomorrow (ok, hairdresser, we have no colorists in this little town. I just wanted to look sophisticated) and now I’m more terrified than ever. The last time I told no red hair and guess what? Red it was.
    You couldn’t say it better: the joys of womanhood…

  • J’aime beaucoup ton illustration, et c’est grâce à toi que j’ai découvert l’épilation à la lumière pulsée et je trouve ça formidable, tu n’as pas continué?
    Mafalda ?

  • OMAGOD!!! thought situations like that only happened to me!!! Garance you are so chic and beatiful!!! you should not have bad days!!! and my ultimate piece of advise is that i only go the beauticians/hairdressers/derms that i ve checked and tested! never change coz the results may be fatal….

    the illustration is so nice!!!

  • Merci pour ce moment à rire ! C’est vraiment chouette de lire quelqu’un que la notoriété n’a pas changé : toujours autant d’autodérision, c’est un bonheur !

  • I have this (obviously super legitimate) theory that as soon as I let myself start thinking that everything is top is when shit hits the fan. It’s when I’m having a really good hair or clothes day and having the I’m-like-Gisele thoughts, or even things like “man, the kids I nanny for are angels!” is when all of a sudden I get a whole crop of acne on my face or when the aforementioned kids decide that screaming at the top of their lungs is their favorite new hobby. It’s an endless cycle for the ego – mine jumps from being on cloud nine to thinking the world hates me. I think this type of thing happens especially around really important and stressful events, ie fashion week.

    WITH that being said, I bet you still honestly do look gorgeous !! (here’s to stepping your ego back up to where it was – you deserve it)

  • Ca arrive….c’est normal. Ton post nous rassure et ton humor c’est le meilleur antidote. Merci d’etre comme ca Garance :)

  • Je n’arrive pas trop à imaginer la couleur de tes cheveux après le passage chez le coiffeur mais ça avait l’air assez effrayant !
    Cela me rappelle la fois où j’ai demandé au coiffeur de me teindre les cheveux en blond platine : ratage absolu, je suis ressortie de là avec les cheveux gris argenté ! Je ressemblais à un dragon ball Z ! J’ai tenu deux jours (sous une capuche évidemment) puis je suis allée chez un autre coiffeur pour refaire une couleur par dessus !

  • un shampooing qui fait vite oublier les colorations “plombées” ou trop foncées : le shampooing clarifiant à la camomille et au bleuet de Christophe Robin …

  • Stéphanie October, 1 2013, 7:59 / Reply

    Toute la sagesse du monde dans “Et ça fait des histoires à raconter !!!”

  • Toutes ces mesaventures, nous les avons (nous, les femmes) subies un jour ou l’autre, mais grace a votre humour, chere Garance, j’ai bien ri !

  • :)) …beau dessin !
    avec ta coupe à un moment, la chanteuse de Texas m’est venu à l’esprit :), j’aime cette chanson the conversation

  • MERCI… de me faire rire comme quand 20ans existait ! le meilleur du meilleur des années 90… gaieté et nostalgie, quoi.

    Je me pose une question steak : est-ce que (comme moi et quelques centaines de milliers d’autres je suppose) tu ne fais pas détruire tes poils au laser sous prétexte que ce qui est définitif fait flipper, ce qui est le faux nez d’un amour sado/maso pour tes poils ?

  • En effet, ça fait des histoires à raconter, et avec ton humour, ça nous fait bien rire! Et je te le redis une fois de plus pour le plaisir, ta nouvelle coupe te va vraiment super bien!


  • Aujourd’hui j’avais pas trop le moral, mais ce post m’a carrément fait rire, vive l’autodérision !! Un bon sens de l’humour voilà ce qui rend à mes yeux une femme vraiment belle…

  • Garance ,quand la couleur est ratée , il y a toujours une solution. tu retournes chez le coiffeur, et tu leur demandes de t effacer la couleur.il y a des produits pour ça. n attends pas que tes cheveux repoussent , trop déprimant..ou alors tu vas chez le grossiste tu achètes un sachet d efassol ( plus très sûre de l ortho), tu mélanges à de l’eau et tu émulsionnes jusque à ce que tu vois que la couleur s efaçe. ensuite shampoing soin et te voilà comme avant! j étais coiffeuse et même en expliquant parfaitement ce que je veux chez le coiffeur, j arrive à être très déçue, pff les coiffeurs!! en tout cas les cheveux courts te vont très très bien!!

  • Garance, après tous ces aventures et souffrances , tu étais très jolie – je t’ai vu à la sortie du défilé Dior, et la coupe, le visage, le look – Fabulous !
    Merci pour ton post super drôle et sincère.

  • You are too funny…. There is truth in jest and you capture the way everyone feels after coloring and waxing etc…. Some reality testing here… I saw you after your hair color and you looked amazing !!!!! Color is so intense after you just get it done.. I always think mine is too intense too ! It mellows out after a couple of washes. Good thing fashion week is over….. no more monsters…..

  • Oh My Garance! A bit of dramas this week no? Hopefully things will turn out just alright! finger crossed! xx


  • Manon P. October, 1 2013, 9:12 / Reply

    Ah Garance j’adore ton autodérision! D’autant plus que je me reconnais dans ce que tu racontes, quand je me trouve plutôt jolie, je ne peux pas m’en contenter et il faut toujours que je m’improvise des “séances beauté”, qui parfois comme toi tourne au drame. La dernière en date: en m’épilant la moustache à la cire froide je me suis brulée, résultat 3 jours avec une belle rougeur (merci la Biafine !). Bisous!

  • Le shamp antipelliculaire ça abime grave. Je le sais car j’ai vécu la même chose, mes cheveux ont charbonné après une teinture. Et j’ai appliqué la petite recette ci-dessous et l’équilibre de mes cheveux est revenu.
    Faut essayer de faire un bain dégorgeant à l’huile d’olive. Enduire les cheveux d’huile d’olive, envelopper dans un plastique ou une serviette. Garder tt une nuit. Faire un shamp doux le matin.
    Bonne chance :)

  • Belle illustration ! C’est difficile d’être belle mais ça vaut le coup, non ?



  • We’ve all been there Garance… A couple of things that might help-

    Skin- Avene’s Cicalfate will fix your skin up in no time. It is soothing and intensely healing.

    Hair- I am naturally dark, chocolate brown, and I have ended up with black hair more times that I care to admit. Oil is known to pull color from hair. Go get a hot oil treatment and leave it on for a long time. Also, Prell shampoo will pull color out. I wouldn’t use it daily, but one or two washes should lighten your locks a bit.

    Bonne chance!

  • Now with your coolest ever hair, gorgeous face and infectious smile you can pull everything Garance!
    Love you xoxo

  • garance, do try scwarzkopf colorist for either red or violet (or any colour!). i dyed my own hair (short and black) with the violet range (4-99) and the result is really good, with dark but purple-ish hair under the light, and many washes later, the colour just keep on getting better.

    i hope you can find a hair colorist near your place because i buy it directly from wholesaler, the product is so good that i dont need a colorist anymore! :D and it’s much more affordable because one tube can last for two dyes for short hair! http://www.schwarzkopf-professional.com/skp/com/en/home/products/colour/igora-royal/philosophy.html i’m a true convert (best hair dye i used) and #shorthair FTW! i keep my hair interesting with different styles and colours.

    darker hair with hints of red/violet = one of the most interesting combinations tht i had! received lots of compliments from it too. just give it a go? http://stores.ebay.co.uk/modern-hairdressing-professional/Essensity-Permanent-/_i.html?_fsub=4312185011&_sid=1128587611&_trksid=p4634.c0.m322 (i know i give so much links as if i work for them but i don’t, but i just looooooveeee it and love sharing it coz i’m a cheapskate and PFFFFFFTTT! i don’t believe in hair colorist anymore since they never get the edgy hair color right!)

    anyway, i just love it that you have short hair now! short hair with red lipstick is a really good yet sultry look. (: i have the same hair and i love it when ppl are so surprised when they see the violet under the light (just when they thought it’s a normal black hair!) ;D

  • Jamais de lait pour le corps avant l’épilation si tu ne veux pas que la cire emporte des lambeaux entiers de peau !

  • Merci Garance de rester si “vraie” #jecompatis

  • I think it it’s natural to feel insecure from time to time, especially when you work in an industry where everyone is expected to look their best everyday. it must be so tiring!

  • but…YOU are in Paris for Fashion Week.

  • Ohhhh Garance!!!!!I feel for you, been through that but obviously not all at the same time, that is way too much! But know that your allure will disguise anything you are not happy with and no one will ever know :)

  • I got my haircut shortly after you did and I thought it was WAAAAY too short. So, I compensated by doing an at home color that night…let’s just say I’m counting down the days until it’s safe to color again.

    Your post was so spot on to what I was experiencing last week. Love your attitude. The good thing about hair – it does grow out! :)

  • I loved it!!!!
    I’m posting looks from Paris and accessories:


  • Terriiiiiible !!! Mais tellement rassurant ! On est toutes pareilles et j’aime à me dire que même Gisèle doit passer par des moments comme ceux là.

  • Sometimes it does take a lot of work to look painlessly and naturally flawless…maybe I’m just projecting.
    Your Friend, Jess

  • Dans un sens cet article aurait pu se finir par VDM mais en même temps c’est tellement notre vie à nous les filles… Ces gens à qui ont confis nos cheveux, nos poils, notre peau… Et catastrophe ! En tout cas, c’est si bien écrit et si drôle ! Bonne repousse alors ! (Et mort aux legos !)

  • CRISTINA M. October, 1 2013, 12:27 / Reply

    Je remarque Garance que tu es d’une gentillesse que moi j’été pas capable. L’esteticiennes moqueuses se retrouver avec nom –prénom et le nom du salon en lettres grandes majuscule dans mon blog que aucun new-yorkaise ne mettait pas leur pieds dans ce salon…
    Mais toi t’est gentille…
    A part qu’elle n’avait pas de pourboire, elle entendait deux – trois mots de ma parte que leurs oreilles non jamais entendu.
    Nous on t’aime, continu de nous émerveiller avec tes dessins et tes posts.
    Bisous !!!!! xxx

  • Princesse Audrey October, 1 2013, 12:39 / Reply

    Pour ta peau (visage et jambes -ou toute autre zone mortellement blessée par le fashion week beauty monster) : la crème Cicalfate d’Avène, elle fait des miracles. Réparatrice et antibactérienne, hyper efficace.

  • I LuVE IT!! It’s so you. So playful. It’s chic, sexy, androgynous, and versatile. Have fun with it and never look back. You have found your look. It’s so Garance.

  • Ah Garance, je la connais cette angoisse quand on decouvre sa couleur… je suis brune et je voulais adoucir mes pointes, jusqu’a la rien de fou.. mais avec la folie des coiffeurs je me suis retrouvee avec des meches plus claires sur qu’une partie de la longueur des meches sur ma FRANGE. OUAI. Et fait par un soit diant “bon” coiffeur a NYC.

    Moi j’appelle ca ressembler a un faisan..


  • Okay, so in New York Nail Spas…


  • kopi-susu October, 1 2013, 1:38 / Reply

    Dear Garance you are welcome to come and live at our house because we are very practiced these days at comforting a girl whose short hair does not look as she would like* and whose skin gives her fits**. You can put on headphones and sit in your room and I will bring you tea and buttered toast until you feel better.
    Except you will have to listen to a lot of Panic at the Disco and Fallout Boy (just warning you) Also she is 12 so she is not allowed to smoke or drink, but you may teach her to swear in French, as it is one of the most useful parts of the language.

    *”mom, wake me up at 6!” because she needs an hour to straighten her 4″ long hair – I think she would LIKE to look like Robert Smith, even though she probably doesn’t know who he is
    ** Biafine to calm down skin! My derm gave it to me after a laser treatment, but it is prescription in the US, so husband picks it up for me in France. It helps my daughter when a spot needs to heal or her skin is irritated from a harsh treatment / experiment (does anyone believe the promises of drugstore skin products as purely as a pre-teen?)

  • Garance, I had a horrible colour experience as well. I wanted a chocolate brown and they gave me a burgundy colour that made my cheeks even redder! Listen, go get a shampoo that has rosemary extract in it. Aveda sells them if anything. I was told by my hairdresser that the rosemary extract takes the colour out. It took a few weeks, but it went back to my natural colour. Go do it. Trust me it works!

  • That’s one of the reasons we love you Garance. We’ve all gone through those hair/skin/waxing/beauty disasters but to know that someone as fresh, fashionable, smart, charming and sexy as you goes through them too makes it a little more ok.

  • “I’m not so old to have been raised with audiotapes…” OUCH.

    I was feeling pretty good about my age until I saw this (I was raised on vinyl, tapes and CDs)…Pfft!

    Time to go dig up my Cure mix tapes ;)


  • Samantha October, 1 2013, 2:19 / Reply

    Sorry dear Garance, but as a devoted reader I cant’ imagine how this sad story came to be. You, who took ages and considerable deliberation to determine a hair cut then turns your hair color over to someone with instructions to do what they want? You, whose great legs are part of your brand doesn’t remember that waxing irritates? Non…non. It doesn’t make sense.

  • Anonymous2 October, 1 2013, 2:30 / Reply

    You are so funny.

  • Garance, je suis sûre que tu es toujours aussi canon, t’inquiète !!
    et puis grâce à toi et ta franchise, on se sent moins seule car oui c’est notre quotidien ça : les couleurs ratées, le spot qui pointe son nez juste au bon moment, et les jambes steakisées…..
    d’ailleurs si quelqu’un a un truc contre les poils sous peau je prends !!!!!
    ça gâche la vie ça des poils sous peau beurk.

  • Garance–this made me howl! I did something similar. My boyfriend and I live in different cities, and I was about to see him. Got a nice haircut and color but they put that stuff on it to seal the color in and it was so dark —and a little cringe-inducing after being light in the summer. And then I used hair removal stuff. Let’s just say, I’m not a professional. Oy.
    But what can you do?! If you don’t laugh about it, it would be stupid and tragic and there’s enough stuff out there that’s truly sad and painful.
    Thanks for sharing your stories! x

  • This is precisely why I never wax, hate the idea of a derm and made the mistake of dyeing my hair for the last time.
    Being blonde? Couldn’t take myself seriously AT ALL. I’m dark and myserious and I’m stuck with it.
    Waxing- holy BALLS, the leg acne is just… I won’t even go there. It’s tear-jerking.
    I ditched my face wash in favour of sensetive wipes for four days. FOUR. Cue disgusting rash all over my face that made me look like I had scales.
    I know now. And if I ever try anything other than the norm ever again it will be at a time when I don’t have to appear in the civilized world for at least a week afterwards. In my experience the best way to tame the beast is to let it roam wild.

  • We understand your disappointment; who among us hasn’t entrusted our tresses/skin/bodies to a so-called expert that “all the girls” go to? Only to be turned into somebody else, and then to add insult to injury, we have to pay them for using us to live out their own fantasies. Ugh… this too shall pass.

  • Oh Garance, I’m so sorry to hear! Bloody colorist, bloody epidermis, bloody spa ladies! I once went to the hairdresser, I had long hair, naturally blond and I wanted to become a read head, not a dark red, a copper red please…. I went home with totally black hair, a desaster par excellence! I really looked like I came straight from the grave yard! But after a few tears I decided to use my black hair for a male focused sociological study and at the end of that study I really knew which guy was interested in ME and not only my outsides ;-) Oh he was an Angel and was my boyfriend for a very long time :-)
    So in the end, it was no desaster at all ;-) and now I can laugh about it :-) Hope you can laugh about it too very soon! xxx

  • Méchante fille October, 1 2013, 3:43 / Reply

    Trop drôle tu es un concentré de toutes les con…..ies qu’il ne faut pas faire
    Unique tu es unique ou universelle puisque nous avons toutes un côté garance

  • Your post make me feel much better! Not that i am feeling depressed for those reasons but i’m having a disgusting day for heart reasons and reading how you get over shitty days like that made me feel better. Thank you!!!! A lot!

  • Aahahah! Le passage au spa est ENORME! Ahahah, j’magine vraiment bien les scènes :)))

    Très drôle ce post!


  • Garance, mets toi au laser. Trop de la balle. Aucun regret.

  • NEVER MAKE BIG CHANGES BEFORE A WEDDING …..OR PARIS FASHION WEEK…your colorist SHOULD of use a product to lift the color…..fixing a problem..is a sign of a great hairdresser…i color my hair with 3N universal # in coloring very dk brown never harsh…Well u exhausted yourself…there r these homeopathic pills called Calm Forte….u can by in any vitamin store…but u r a funny writer lol

  • Sex and the City…. Samantha had a chemical peel before Carrie book even… lol

  • Tu as vraiment de drôles d’idées !!! Tu ne sais donc pas qu’il ne faut pas aller chez le dermato, coiffeur etc… avant un rv important (pour toi = fashionweek) ? Tu es un vraie kamikaze :-)

  • Poor you! We’ve all been in that situation and it completely freaks you out but it’s great that you can share it with us all and keep your sense of humour!

    Emma x


  • Tu es belle Garance , ne te laisse pas plomber le moral , la couleur ratée ça nous arrive à presque toutes
    La couleur plus foncée doit faire ressortir ton teint clair , lumineux ….

  • esmeralda October, 1 2013, 6:24 / Reply

    Garance, tu me tues de rire!!!!

  • Hi Garance, I actually thought you looked a lot like my teenage idol Robert Smith in the video you posted about your new haircut. A very stylish and young looking Mr Smith, with better lipstick on. Anyway, just so you don’t feel all alone in your woes out there, I went for a haircut after seeing the great results you had and asked my stylist for a chop similar to one on your pinterest board. I had the photo printed in front of her. It was medium length, a fringe, layers throughout. I ended up looking like Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder. No kidding. I knew I should have gone somewhere more upmarket for it, but the choice in a pop 5000 village in the north island of NZ is pretty slim. So I’ll have to live with it until it all grows out again in like 2 years from now. Keep writing Garance, I know someone out there knows how I feel.

  • Very funny story, we can all relate! One time after I went to a new salon for a color, the next day I came down with hives all over my face and neck. Not only did I look like the creature from the black lagoon, but it was awfully uncomfortable. What really hurt my pride was as I spoke to people, I noticed their eyes running quizzically all over my face, until I would just say “I have hives!”. LOL, luckily that was the only time that has ever happened, and it only lasted a few days.

    At any rate, I’m sure you are still beautiful. Did Scott crack jokes about it to make you feel better? That always helps.

  • Garance, ever heard of the saying “if it ain’t broke, don’t try and fix it”? What is it about perfection that we find so uncomfortable and unacceptable? As for Robert Smith, maybe lay off the red lippy for a while…or at least apply it PERFECTLY!

  • The horror!! I’m glad that you made the horrible experience work for you! I hope your hair grows back really fast and bummer about the waxing.
    Now about those laser zaps..they really take away the cysts?? I get some on my chin when I’m super stressed and I did hear that nothing makes it go away except for some injections. I’m contemplating making a dermatology appt to zap them all away asap!!


  • Michelle October, 1 2013, 10:42 / Reply

    Love you, Garance! But these are first world problems, right? -.-

  • pleasssse dye your hair back (?) why live with it until the new hair grows out?? why put yourself through the wait?

  • Bless you, Garance. I needed the camaraderie today!

  • I don’t know if I’m going to pity you or laugh when you said “Robert Smith hair,” but it definitely makes me rethink as I’m scheduled with my colorist this weekend.

  • Aaaaaaaaaaah, j’adooooore, un peu de cynisme de bon matin, c’est par-fait! Merci Garance!
    PS: Les Griffes de la Nuits c’est les 80’s et non les 90’s (oui, je suis une old bat :))

  • Ouah!! Trop dur ces péripéties. Peut être le mieux est-il bien l’ennemi du bien.
    Pour les cheveux, j’ai donné et la seule consolation c’est que ça repousse.
    Pour la peau sensible : j’ai aussi donné mais moi ce n’est pas les jambes que cette esthéticienne à transformer en steak mais mes paupières !! Et bien sûr pendant la pause déjeuner :( Je suis donc retourner au travail avec deux plaques rouges et gonflées à la place de mes paupières. Inflammation d’une semaine et après la peau a gentiment pelé. Alors je compatis à tes malheurs, même si je dois l’avouer j’ai bien ris en les lisant.

  • Merci pour ta modestie et ton auto-dérision, ton post m’a fait vraiment rire et je m’y suis vraiment reconnue ! La morale de tout ça : le trop est l’ennemis du bien !!!

  • j’adore ton humour !je te met un lien pour une crème génial pour les poils incarné:. Crème Akerat 30 / Avène trouvé sur le blog :www.etpourquoipascoline.fr

  • Garance, I love that drawing! is it possible to buy it as a poster? I would love to put on my wall and wake up every morning …to see that sublime elegance and perfection of women… oh yeah! xxx

  • You’re almost as old as i am of course you were raised on audiotapes and probably some vinyl too. No shame !!

  • AHLALA, je vois très bien ce que tu veux dire! j’ai 33 ans, dc les références Nineties c’est tout bon ^^ et il y a 4 ou 5 ans, à l’apparition de mes 2 premiers cheveux blancs (aie) moi la minette “châtain” nommée “plus beaux cheveux du bureaux 2008-2009”, suis tombée entre les mains d’un coloriste apprenti qui m’avait “oublié” pendant le tps de pause de la couleur, et non seulement j’avais des marques de teinture autour du front et des oreilles (quelle-horreur-même la patronne était gênée…) mais surtout je me suis affichée pendant 1 mois encore, le temps que ça se patine: je ressemblais à une fan de Néo-Métal avec mes cheveux noir charbon de bois et mon teint blafard… la Looooooose…et tout le monde de son petit comment “Ah mais, t’as foncé tes cheveux??” “nan nan, enfin, c’est pas ce que je voulais au début…” j’étais tombée de mon pied d’estale!!!
    j’ai depuis trouvé mon salon fétiche qui me chouchoute et me réussi mes couleurs châtain-naturel à merveille, et HORS de Q° de mettre 1 pied ds ailleurs!!!!!

    Bon, heureusement que tout ça n’est pas définitif ;)))) on en rigole après!!!
    et puis t’es Magnifique Garance!
    Bisettes! CAt

  • Your stories remind me of the time in the 70s when I decided that, since I wasn’t comfortable with nail polish on my small hands and not perfectly shaped nails, that I would get those monstrous artificial nails that the manicurist has to build on top of your own nails. Well, I had it done and I skulked out of the salon, feeling utterly uncomfortable with them. So. not. me. I felt like such a fool as I walked home, foolish that I just couldn’t leave myself alone, and that everyone must see how insecure I was. Now you, on the other hand are gorgeous, and don’t need any further improvements. But why do we do this? I still haven’t figured that out. I think it’s a woman thing.

  • Oh, and P. S. I have a great colorist in the West Village but I’m afraid to tell you his name for fear that he’s the one that did this to you! But I also know a great woman colorist at the same salon.

  • Dear Garance,
    I love to solve problems, especially beauty problems, so here we go…
    Get `sugaring´ instead of waxing – I too have very delicate skin that can not handle a raiser, and even waxing can leave my skin unhappy because the wax sticks to the skin – sugaring uses sugar, water and lemon juice as a soft caramel that only attaches to hair, even as small as sand – so no waiting to grow out your hairs (as if that was ever a problem) so no skin has been harmed in the process!
    I am so sorry to hear about your hair, having the wrong colour is horrible! Go to an organic hairdresser, where you can get haircolour that only attaches to the outside of the hair shafts, thus it wont harm your hair and you don’t have to look like a depressed goth (what a horrible hairdresser, poor you).
    and last… when you can plan four days of no seeing anyone important (or really nobody) get deep a cleansing facial from someone you trust – and then don’t show your face until your skin has healed (kidding) – use icy water, followed by thermal water, then organic fresh lemon juice as a toner and then apply coconut oil – this way your skin will heal and be free of any bacteria, that would cause more breakouts – take care of your skin, be careful with it, don’t pick on it, and don’t use lasers!
    To heal the little wounds you have caused your poor skin – apply with 100% pure aloe vera.
    Would love to hear more about your wardrobe, that you seem to have perfected!
    Bisous Lou

  • Menteuse! TU SAIS que t’avais des cassettes en grandissant! TU LE SAIS

  • Ce qui est sympa dans ce post c’est que j’ai le meme soucis post épilaTIONNE :) j’essaie de parler espagnole là! bref, donc du coup je me tape les commentaires et je glanne les conseils des autres, je note les filles, je note….;)


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