DORÉ

Perfect. It’s so you. I don’t know if we ever really “fit in” in our own minds, but we do with our friends and that is what matters. The people around us get us. I think it is why you blog and all that you touch is so succsessful. You are geniune in a world that has become so distorted.

Keep being who you are Garance, no one else can.

Therese

Dear Garance,

Thank you so much for sharing your individual story both here and in the Lenny Letter. I found it very moving. It’s interesting how we’re always learning to be true to ourselves, and sometimes the lessons that are the hardest transform us in the most positive ways.

I’m still on the infertility journey and trying so very hard not to let it take over my life, but those hormones are so powerful! It all started when I got pregnant, accidentally, less than a year after I’d started dating my now fiance. I was in my early 40s, and as a late bloomer, had already given up on the hope of having children and was mostly at peace with that. When I got pregnant, we realized we both really wanted to have a child together. I miscarried just a few weeks later, and the same thing happened again the following year.

Sooo we decided to go the IVF route and after assessing my eggs, our doctor advised going straight to egg donation, which we did, using all of our savings. I had high hopes that with donated eggs, everything would go well. It didn’t. But it did nearly take over our life, as you experienced: so many doctor’s appointments, procedures, and blood tests. It was emotionally and physically exhausting beyond anything I expected. My mom passed away about a month after my second unsuccessful round of IVF, where I had a positive pregnancy test, but the embryo didn’t develop.

After a break of almost a year mourning my mom, recovering from all of the stress of IVF, and reconnecting and enjoying life with my guy, we are about to start our third round of IVF. In fact, a nurse called just as I was writing this to schedule a saline ultrasound.

I don’t know when or how this journey will end, but it really helps to know other people are going through it too.

Thank you, Garance!

J’ai eu l’occasion d’assister à quelques défilés et j’avais apprécié mais c’était en dilettante et avant le “fashion circus” (les grandes années des japonais, Mugler, Gaultier, Montana, etc…), mais comme toi, je me sentais tellement “pas à ma place” ! Je suis le blog depuis les débuts et on dirait que la vraie Garance est de retour (ok c’est stupide de dire çà). Je trouve ton parcours et ta réussite professionnelle génial (géniaux ?), mais je regrette le coté personnel (voire artisanal) du blog et je me suis un peu éloignée du site. Je suis heureuse pour toi car on a l’impression que tu as désormais trouvé le chemin qui te convient. Plein de bonheur Garance !

Bonjour Garance, je vous suis depuis 8 ans à peu près. Le blog je l’ai vu évolué. Vous, je vous ai vu grandir, mûrir, votre regard sur la vie devenant plus profond moins éparse. Tout cela, vos 40 ans arrivant.
Je suis désolée de vous rappeler à votre rupture avec M.Schuman, mais j’ai à l’esprit une photo de vous en jean, chemise et mocassins Tods, accompagnée de Madame Viviane Volpicella. Ma réaction fut de me dire : tout change, les vêtements aussi. Cette photo de vous, habillée tout simplement, m’a marquée car elle vous révélait telle que je vous avais toujours sentie : simple, émotive et solaire en même temps. Voilà Garance. Peut-être je me trompe mais voilà mon ressenti sur cette photo-frontière comme je la nomme. Tous mes vœux de sérénité et bonheur vous accompagnent.

Why do we trap ourselves into doing things or staying in situations, especially in our careers, that we know aren’t good for us? I wish we all had an Emily to tell it to us straight.

I always dreamt of being front row at fashion week, and whilst living in London earlier this year, had the opportunity to ‘stand’ back row at a couple of B-grade shows. What a mad, circus experience experience it was; girls and guys in crazy ‘look at me’ outfits eager for a photographers attention to spot them in line, single them out and have them pose for that ‘street style’ shot. The energy was quite toxic as it felt like everyone was there for themselves, strutting around like peacocks waiting to be noticed, rather than being there for the designer who was presenting their collection. What an eye-opener experience, and I assume even more amplified at the A-grade shows of Chanel, Dior, Chloé etc. My dream of attending front row fashion week has certainly been tainted after this experience.

Ali xox
alipeat.com

As a long time reader, I have noticed several shifts in your career and blog over the years. To be honest, I’ve never had any understanding of how the business side of your blog really works. I’m so far removed from the “creative” industry that I’m sure I have no clue how much…say…that VINCE ad generates in revenue for your company to pay your staff, your office rent, etc. As I contemplate a shift in my own career (government – so different than your work!), I can still appreciate the risk and anxiety and yet all the conviction and confidence it takes to plunge ahead and grow and move in a new direction.

Amazing, amazing, amazing – always an inspiration and always incredible reads! x

http://www.stylepetal.co.uk

Lovely article, Garance. I am just starting out in a very competitive field, and also when through a phase of wondering if I even liked it any more, before realizing it was really all the attendant stress and worry that was making me not “like” my field. Realizing that forced me to rethink how I envision my future and what I want my position in my field to be. I am glad to know that I am not alone in going through this particular malaise!

It’s so amazing how honestly you share things about your life. I would say that I know exactly how you feel but how could I, right? :) We never really know.

I started my own blog because I love writing and I was just so in awe about your blog (and life… :)).
I think I started to read your blog in about 2013… I started my own blog in December 2015 and I did it the way I imagined would be right. The way I wanted to express myself and the way I thought nobody else did. (Well, I still kind of wanted to do it the way you did… :).

But I never gained enough readers! Nobody really seemed to care (I did get to personal letters from two people – it was really touching). Or maybe I gave up too early… I didn’t just want to desperately promote my blog. I wanted to write. But it was so sad to put myself into my stories, to write and re-write and publish my pieces…. and not to receive any feedback.

I kept going, running into different directions. Writing about different things, maybe getting lost. Maybe trying too much to be mainstream.

I never wanted to be a public person and talk about my personal life. I just wanted my writing to mean something. I wanted to tell stories. I wanted my blog to be about stories…

So gradually it fizzled out. Now I only use my blog in connection with my vintage shop. But I still want to write and I’m still thinking that maybe it would be possible to do it my own way. Staying true to how I imagined it. Just writing my stories.

I am honestly happy for you that you chose your own path. So many people are scared to do that for so many different reasons. I really think that your story will make others strong, too. It has made me stronger, I know that.

I wish you all the best and will always wait for your new stories. And thank you!

https://sofaundermapletree.wordpress.com

Amazing article!

Super boring question, but where is that incense holder from?!

Hi lady,
As a long time reader, I definitely felt the shift even as it happened in a very organic and subtle way.

What I love-truly, appreciate and relate to are a few key components of this “revelation”. I relate to the idea that we style and fashion lovers can have our relationship with that world and it doesn’t necessarily mean we dream of reaching the pinnacle interface of front row fashion.

I appreciate that you’ve respectfully tackled a bigger issue of exterior/interior values while writing and exploring what the fashion show circuit meant to you. It so beautifully cooresponds to your interest and research on mindfulness… i.e.: if it looks great on the outside but feels shitty inside: LISTEN.

I loved the post where you talked about how you felt yourself changing, and how we have to leave room for that growth and evolution. I was feeling the same thing inside myself and you gave a voice to what I, too, was experiencing (in large part due to meditation). The fact that you tried that lifestyle, braved walking away from it, share your journey with us creates an entirely new paradigm for what it means to have a relationship to fashion and style. I may be home, with messy unwashed hair, wearing men’s basketball shorts with a doen blouse and shitty day old eyeliner= but we must meet “that” world on our own terms. No rules, and as you said, no rules= freedom.

Thank you!!!

“Maybe I’ll never find anywhere I truly fit in. Maybe that’s what makes me who I am. Maybe I’m just made to be unfitting, unbelonging—and free.” wow. these days you really are “singing my life with your words”. So beautifully said and thought. thank you!!! I think it’s a beautiful lifestyle too… (the longer the better – life has its ways to have you make into a beautifu giftl what has been so challenging when younger!)

Dear Garance,
This is the first time I am writing, after many years of reading your posts.
I am now 34, so I’ve been reading you during my professional and personal growth.
First of all, thank you for being so honest all the time, your blog has always been a window to your life. As a person who lived through the birth and emancipation of social media, your latest articles remind me that “what shines isn’t always gold” and how one should look for what’s best for oneself.
I agree about the fashion shows, how they’ve become a parade of people in disguise craving for attention. I’ve seen it also in my latest vacations, girls in a hurry taking thousands of pictures in different posses, not even enjoying the place they’re at and yelling at the person taking the picture in order to get that perfect shot.
Many fashion and lifestyle blogs are all about selling you something, making you feel that you MUST have this and the places you HAVE to go, with different information everyday. Many of my favorite bloggers travel so much now they’re hardly a week in a place, people that used to inspire with their creativity and sartorial eye are now just mannequins selling whatever they can.
I am glad you’re following your gut and surrounded yourself with great people, keeping it real, both for you and your readers. It seems you’ve had a rough year, I bet many of your readers did too. I’m just happy to know that I am not alone trying to find my place, battling with challenges and opening our eyes to the big lie social media has become these days.