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Fear of Massages

9 years ago by

Fear of Massages

A few weeks ago, I got over my fear of massages.

I’ve always thought the idea of a stranger rubbing me with oil was weird – I’m just not a “touchy” person. In the past, when I’ve had a massage booked, I’ve always skipped on it last-minute.

A few years ago, I finally yielded. I booked a massage, and guess what? It made me SUPER sick. The minor head cold I was battling flared up (a release of toxins, according to the doctor). This only fueled my fear.

But my brother gifted me a Swedish massage for Christmas (at this amazing spa in TriBeCa), and I decided to give massages one last chance. And… I made it through! Maybe it was the timing (a treat after a recent break up), or maybe I’m just not as squeamish. Either way, now I’m hooked. I’m going to indulge again as a Valentine‘s gift for myself next week…

Do you find the experience relaxing or terrifying? I even know some people who just find it a time-waster…


Photo: Vogue Italia


Add yours
  • I totally get your point, i find head and body massages very relaxing


  • I feel so relaxed, but I need a woman, I think that a man would make me feel weird about the massage thing!
    XOX, Gap.

  • Je peux comprendre que vous aimez les massages. Mais, moi? Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais je les détestent vraiment! Même si mon amant m’en offre un, je lui fait un regard désapprobateur, simplement parque les massages me donnent aucune de satisfaction et ne réussissent pas à me détendre…

  • Paula Pilgrim February, 11 2015, 6:11 / Reply

    I don’t like massage and don’t find it relaxing at all – you never know what kind of masseuse you are going to get and what kind of energy they are habouring on that day and transference of this scares me – hence no massage for me …

  • I hear you! Although, I waited until the ripe old age of 46 to try my first massage. Ridiculous! My muscles were so tense on my first visit (probably from fear of massages… and er… from lack of massages!). The poor therapist was exhausted by the end… he he. I’ve found, with the right therapist, you soon learn to relax. Now I go every two weeks and practically fall asleep as soon as I hit that massage table. Pure bliss :D

  • I used to feel exactly the same way. They actually made me really uptight and I used to feel pretty stressed and uncomfortable for the full hour. I guess that’s my type A personality coming out.

    Now I go for the pressure point massages where they just work out my knots without slathering me in oil. Much better.


  • I’ve never had a fear of massages and the idea of that always made me wonder who had that fear. It’s crazy one persons honey is another persons (something not good).

    cool read


  • I never had a massage that makes me want to get more. I tried so hard to like them. Is that relevant to this discussion ? I compare everything to yoga. I feel so good after yoga that the massages i have gotten so far dont feel any special.

  • I tried…several times. My husband loves massages…he falls asleep, and asks the masseuse to wake him if he does. Now, I love a foot or hand massage, even a neck and shoulder massage, but I HATE a full body massage. First, I always have to get up to pee in the middle. It’s not relaxing to me…I’m lying there the whole time, wanting it to be over so I can get up! And…I once had a massage where the therapist said she would work on the knots I had in my neck and shoulders…I knew I carried my stress in those areas (and still do). Well…she HURT me, and I was sore for a few days! I’m not paying for someone to hurt me like that…no more massages for me!

  • I find them absolutely terrifying! My way of relaxing is just by sitting at home, watching tv and making new pieces for my collection, though that doesn’t seem to be most effective when getting out knots etc. Must get over my fear too!


  • I don’t really like them but maybe I should just take the jump and try!;)

  • Ah mais pour moi c’est absolument pas une perte de temps ! Au contraire, à chaque fois Que je vais me faire un massage ou un hammam (suivi d’un massage ^^) je me dis que ça me fais tellement de bien que je devrais le faire au moins une fois pas mois !
    Bon le temps passant trés vite, finalement j’y vais genre 3 ou 4 fois par an, et j’adore vraiment !
    Là j’ai un bon pour une séance de 2h dans l’institut à côté de chez moi : je regarde le coffret en bavant de plaisir anticipé et j’ai hâte de trouver LE bon moment pour y aller…

  • I never ever understood why so many people are fund of these things…I really don’t like to be touched by a stranger (let alone being naked in front of that person) and the very thought of this stresses me out to the point where I can’t see how can you be relaxed in these circumstances. Besides, I find massages rather painful than relaxing…

  • I hate massages. I even hate the head massage they give you at the hairdresser when they wash your hair. It stresses me. I never know what to do or say. It’s super uncomfortable.
    I have to admit, though, that there is one massage I would have every week if I could: the reshaping leg massage I had at a L’Occitane spa in a hotel in Algarve, Portugal. After the massage my legs looked photoshopped! I swear they were thinner, the skin was flawless and I even dare to say a little bit longer. That time, the stress was worth it!

  • Eh bien pour moi ce sera demain….
    au plus fort de l hiver un bonheur d’ une heure trente…
    qui arrive après une semaine un peu trop pleine!!!!

  • LadyAlexander February, 12 2015, 9:19 / Reply

    I love being touched, and it wasn’t always the case. It took an older, wiser woman friend taking me to a Korean bath house a long time ago. Women of all ages, naked and clothed, taking care of themselves in this ritualistic way. My friend/mentor paid my way in and even bought me a massage, which meant laying on a slab table out in the open with just a towel covering my crotch. An old Korean woman rubbed me down, scrubbed me down, then doused me in cold water. She touched my head and said, “you all done now,” and that was that. No frills, no bullsh*t, and I felt like a million dollars. I thanked her profusely and she got the table ready for the next woman.
    I see massage now as a ritualistic part of my self-care routine, and I love to remember how ancient this practice is and how many cultures view it not as superficial or luxurious but as important as exercise and good food for your health. The trick is to find the therapist you like, or rather, therapists- no need to have only one. Gotta sort through the gimmick-y ones and those that have ANYTHING to sell you, and those that talk about themselves during the session, etc. I like to avoid fancy spas, new age angles, anything that gets too far removed from basic massage. Chronic migraines? Find a medical massage place and someone there will do some intense work on your neck and head that is really targeted and can offer relief. Stressed out and sore? Go to the Russian bath house and get rubbed down and then whipped with those leaves and sit in steam. Magic!

  • greek_mermaid February, 12 2015, 12:58

    @LadyAlexander – I totally agree! I’m a midlife athlete, and finally found someone who is fantastic, and has helped me rehab some nagging aches, fix some minor injuries and just generally helps me to keep going .. running, lifting weights and all of that… yes, it’s so important to find what works, and someone with whom you feel comfortable. For me, it’s a highly experienced older male massage therapist who gives off no sexual vibe whatsoever, so no issues there. And, yes, it took me a while to feel comfortable being naked with any massage therapist (albeit under various pieces of cloth, but still…). To those who haven’t found the right person/method yet, keep exploring. Bodywork can be so amazing, healing, relaxing and life-affirming. I’ll give up a lot of things before I consider cutting back on massages (right now I get them about twice a month).

  • Dainty & Chic February, 12 2015, 10:28 / Reply

    I had a couple bad experiences with massages before and I know how dauting it could be to find the right person to give them to you. However, when you do, stick to it!!


  • I loooove massages. Even more than COS. Let me tell you one thing, if you find a right place and a right person, i.e. the one who puts a right pressure, does not make you feel uncomfortable AND uses really nice smelling oils that don’t leave you covered with blotches, massages can be addictive :) And they are wonderful for relaxation, sore muscles, tension.

  • Je n’aime pas trop non plus être touchée ( mon Osthéo m’a surnommée la cocotte minute …) mais je me détends absolument sous les mains d’une masseuse. Je reviens d’une Thalasso avec des soins Duo avec mon ami … Un rêve !

  • Massages used to make me tense, for the same “touchy” stranger reasons. Later on in life I gave it another go, and not surprisingly, I LOVE them! I like when they work my muscles until I am sore though. I am not fond of the nice, pampering kind…

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