9 years ago by
What happens when a New Yorker who’s relatively waxed, manicured, has her hair done (ok ok, partially done) and who is generally fairly well-groomed (generous applications of night serum included, even though she thinks it’s a pain to put on and doesn’t see a big difference between now and the blessed time when putting a little moisturizer on before going to bed felt like a heroic act) finds herself at the ends of the earth with her fairly recent boyfriend?
Like, at the ends of the earth in a little village in Corsica where there are only dirt roads and where the closest shower is at the end of a little nature trail?
Well, in her Instagram dreams, she would have brought along all her favorite beauty products. Each morning, she would have taken a cool shower to revitalize the tissues (that’s what we call skin in beauty language) then she would have applied a lotion with multiple benefits like protecting, firming, adding glow, and making you smell amazing. She would have anointed her silky hair with a delicate oil to get the famous “vacation locks” all the magazines are talking about, and she would have put on makeup so natural it’s almost invisible, “You’re such a natural beauty, my love” but stunning at the same time “Wow, your skin is as soft as a peach, it’s incredible”.
And she would have done a quick check every morning, of course, tweezers in hand, to make sure every misplaced hair was instantly obliterated. And each evening, after her shower and application of organic after-sun cream, she would have…Pffff, YEAH.
All of these things would have kept up a semblance of the lie dream of the chill BUT glamorous woman who is actually pretty easy to play when you’re in the city.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here’s reality.
Let’s start by explaining the actual surroundings.
My village is small and really wild. There aren’t any paved streets – only dirt roads. No one cares about clothes, except for Marine (but deep down, even she doesn’t really care that much), everyone smokes and drinks and swears, and we laugh a lot. I stayed in a log cabin this time, which was sublime according to my standards (which are the Girolata standards – Gyp without the Set, actually. I love it, but there have been times when I brought friends and they flipped out and left right away. I’m not mad at them, though. Scott didn’t want to stay very long, for example. But I can understand – he doesn’t smoke or drink or swear and, since he grew up in cities, he hasn’t often found himself nose to nose with a sticky toad in the middle of the night. Total respect, ok! To each his own taste, color, and toad.)
Anyway, you get the point. To summarize, here’s a quote from my sister, Sacha: “I definitely want to go to Girolata, but only for one day. You can’t stay longer than that. When you take a shower there, you’re still dirty when you get out.”
It’s true that, in general, when you come back from Girolata, you’re brown. But since I grew up there, it seems perfectly normal to me.
So it’s tiny and wild, and I was hoping to stay beautiful.
I mean, stay presentable in the eyes of my guy.
Or, not end up totally caked with dirt, at least.
Bah. You know me.
First of all, it took me two days to find the shower (in Chris’ point of view: “It’s totally fine! We bathed in the sea!!!”) which was located behind our cabin, hidden behind a fig tree and unfortunately double locked (it took us another day to find the key) so I ended up taking showers with the garden hose (it might sound sexy, but water as cold as the Ice Bucket Challenge is only fun for about two seconds. Not even two seconds, actually.)
My hair got back its “Costa Rica” spirit – a ball of salty curls that I couldn’t pull back, so I tried to hide my hair under a sailor hat I found in a dusty corner of the cabin. (My brother’s reaction: “Uh, what exactly do you have on your head there?”)
I put on lotion exactly two times since, most of the time, my serum of choice was a generous application of anti-mosquito cream, face included, which probably explains the acne that’s been popping up on my cheeks the past couple of days) and plus, because of the stupid mosquitos, I couldn’t sleep very well, which gave me panda eyes (after 35, not sleeping well for one night equals a whole week without sleep at Burning Man when you’re 20) (my dad’s commentary: “Honey, you look exhausted, go take a nap!”)
So, obviously, we kept everything super classy, and when I got back to Ajaccio, I of course noticed that my bath water was brown. Just light brown, ok?
The real question in all of this isn’t: “Did Garance succeed in staying chic in these totally unfavorable circumstances?”
The question is: “What is the man’s reaction to this woman he hadn’t seen before? Should he celebrate the hairy return to nature? Pretend not to notice? Look away when certain images threaten to burn his retinas forever? (Me in the morning after a night of fighting mosquitos, after going to bed with wet, salty hair, because of midnight skinny dipping)? Be a man and support his woman at all costs?
I kept it simple and after watching the steady decline of all my aesthetic hopes, I asked him the question.
Disclaimer: Chris happens to really like being hairy and rolling around in nature. He’s a musician and wears a suit almost every day when he’s working – so, the rest of the time, extreme chillitude is the key. I like that about him, even though sometimes I do tell him, “hmmmm, maybe today you could run your fingers through your hair a little bit” (my mother’s commentary: “Chris doesn’t do much with his hair, does he?”) but most of the time, I leave him in peace, and I love him as he is, which is, not metrosexual at all.
But I happen to be rather metrosexual, actually, as a woman.
So he’s not super used to seeing me in my “natural” state.
So I asked him the question, and he responded like any self-respecting guy who wants to avoid a vacation breakdown worse than a thunder storm would: “No, but you look perfect!” Which left me in the same state of doubt.
I was still torn between a bunch of different thoughts — (should I make an effort and do something about this chipped nail polish?)(and put on a little makeup since I’m pretty sure someone might confuse me with Robert DeNiro at this point???)(I have funny references for describing myself now that I have short hair) and major laziness (no, it’s cool to let everything go once in awhile)(and mostly “pffffiouuuuu it would be such a pain to get my makeup bag out right now pffff)(and shave ouh la la pffff) and my feminist battles (come on, a man should love me exactly as I am!)(hmmmm A. Do I love myself as I am? or B. Did I just catch myself avoiding my reflection in the mirror?)(Answer: B) and also a sense of injustice (he hasn’t shaved in a week and no one’s bothering him about it, so…) !!!
I decided to bury all these questions in Corsican charcuterie, killing two birds with one stone by eating too much Coppa, which aggravated my waist size AND my (re) developing acne, and I decided to let the hairy storm pass.
Because, you see, today is the day we return to New York.
In 36 hours, I will go back to being a smooth, hairless New Yorker without acne. And I’m sure that, thanks to the marvelous tool that is the human brain, in 78 hours, the memories of our trip will start to fade, transforming my dreadlocks into silky strands, and my under-eye circles into a radiant smile.
We will forget about our mosquito-filled nights and we’ll blush when we’re reminded of diving naked into the blue, clear water. We will remember with joy the time we spent together, free, happy, and unshaven. And we’ll know deep down that whatever we’ve lost in mystery (whooooa baby, what is this pimple?) we’ve gained in intimacy. We’ll forget all about the acne, the frizzy hair, and my captain’s hat, in the long run.
Because happiness begins when you stop complicating everything.
Oh, and also, happiness is letting destiny take the wheel: Chris happened to lose his phone somewhere deep in the Mediterranean on a fishing trip.
No more proof of me letting myself go.
Hahahhahahahah. Heheheh. Haha.
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haha, j’adore!! Les hommes ne sont pas si difficiles que ça à gérer, au fond…
Et les photos sur IG sont si glamour… Ce qui rend ton billet encore plus drôle!
Lol oui je n’ai pas trop donné dans le selfie ahahahah :)
Garance, je n’ai pas vu comme un signe que tu perdes son/ton bracelet, mais alors .. Il perd son portable, avec tous ses contacts, photos… dans la mer qui t’a vu naître et grandir c’est énorme… Ja ja ja Vous êtes faits pour durer, profitez!
J’aime beaucoup cette façon de voir les choses ;)
“Libres, joyeux et non epiles” !!! Je pleure de rire et je suis en retard a mon rendez-vous mais je n’ai pu m’empecher de lire ce post hilarant ! Pour expliquer mon retard, j’invoquerai un “insane traffic.”
Merci Garance pour cette dose de vitamines et cette bouffee d’air pur des le matin !
Sounds like a dream vacation to me! I think you are with the right man when he accepts you at your worst, and you can accept him too of course;)
I really enjoy this post! Totally true, the same happens to me when I go from the city to the small beaches in Spain. The illustration is so beautiful!
http://heelsandpeplum.com/
That illustration is so beautiful Garance – you have such a unique style!
Ah, Girolata!…
J’y avais été avec mon ex, effectivement, on avait dormi en mode très roots (= sous la tente) et ne nous étions pas beaucoup lavés (l’eau de mer, ça lave, non?). Bref, on était crade (je ne vois pas comment on peut ne pas être crade là-bas), mais amoureux et du coup, j’ai un souvenir assez vague de comment j’étais habillée ou coiffée – il n’y avait pas de miroir, dans mon souvenir.
Bref, bravo pour avoir passé cette épreuve, et le laisser-aller fait partie intégrante des vacances!
Super la cabane … après Cannes … ! Il a l’air tous terrains et c’est génial qu’il te voit en “vrai” !
Oui il est plutôt tout terrain :)
You made me chuckle! Almost every summer for the last few years, I have spent the month of July in Colorado. Not in Aspen or Vail, where I could stay as maintained as I am/try to be in Chicago, but in a small little town. To get a basic manicure, I have to drive 30 minutes down a state highway at 65 mph, but that’s half the fun of July. I keep up with the sunscreen and eye cream and something at night, but the rest gets more and more optional with each passing day…and no one cares, least of all me. However, as my July comes to an end, I’m on the phone booking appts. madly for all my usual services and it always feels so good to be back to “me”.
dis dons dis donc tu ne nous as jamais autant parlé de ton amoureux que depuis que tu es avec Chris, non ?… :)
Oui je crois! Bah, je me sens plus libre en général dans la vie (j’ai envie de partager plus de trucs dans mes écrits), et il est hyper cool avec mes histoires ça le fait rire, donc j’hésite pas :)
et nous on adore ! vous êtes très beaux tous les deux
This is hilarious and so dead on. It’s crazy we think this way but we do it’s all so true! Garance, you are so brave and so beautiful!! Thanks for sharing :)
Ta façon d’écrire est juste absolument désopilante, j’adore.
Et puis, l’amour rend aveugle, non?
Je me rappelle encore, un matin, mon amoureux a débarqué chez moi tôt = non maquillée, chevelure de Louis 14 pas sechée de la veille, en pyjama (du genre qui sort pas de chez toi) et il m’a dit “oh, qu’est ce que tu es belle!”
Et ça sortait du coeur. Comme quoi. ;-)
Tu viens de me faire rire, mais rire…
Merci et bon retour à la civilisation ! (moi aussi j’ai des gros moments OFF/moments de la honte et je me demande souvent comment font les autres nanas…)
I really admire your ability to laugh at yourself and to not take yourself so seriously. All that in spite of your fame and success. This was really funny and I guess this is when “the rubber hits the road” in relationships. We are all the girls you referred to in your story having many aspects some gorgeous and some imperfect. That is what makes us fascinating!
Accidental Icon
http://www.accidentalicon.com
Love. Love. Love.
That is all.
Bon, sinon Garance, malgré cette crise d’hirsutisme, j’espère que tu t’es bien ressourcée, “reconnectée” à toi-même et reposée sur ton île natale. Finalement, c’est le plus important :)
Pfft. Vacation is for letting go and relaxing. Sometimes vacation-type grooming is part of that (ooh! bronze-y shimmer!), but I don’t want to teach my daughter to be perfectly groomed in the wild. I want to teach her to go for midnight skinny dips and have a ball. If she manages to remember a scarf to help with the hair situation after a few days, since she’s inherited my crazy curly hair, that’s good, too, but it’s so secondary to having a real rich life. How do we find this right balance between truly living in the moment and also taking pride in our appearance? How do we teach our daughters to revel in their skin if all they’re doing is checking to make sure it’s poreless and hair-free?
No. No, no, and no.
Your illustrations are always so brilliant, Garance. What an artist you are!
We have all been there in one way or another and it’s a kill-it-with-humor situation. It’s also when you know you met your guy!
Merci de m’avoir fait autant rire!! ton post a réveillé des souvenirs d’une semaine de camping sauvage en Corse avec mon chéri la première année de notre relation.
La référence à la charcuterie corse, ès qualité de remède à toute inquiétude, m’a fait exploser de rire ! En bonne francaise je comprends parfaitement et apprécie encore plus !
Robert De Niro?! hahahaha Perfect.
Il a perdu son téléphone ?! Arf zut, moi qui comptait espionner vite fait son IG pour vous voir en mode Tarzan & Jane (superbes quoi…)
Tes posts respirent le bonheur et ca fait plaisir à lire ! :-)
C’est complètement charmant ce billet… Je suis toute attendrie… Peut-être qu’avoir appris aujourd’hui que j’attendais mon deuxième enfant me rend plus fleur bleue que d’habitude mais… Vive l’amour ! :-)
Ah Girolata ! C’est là bas que je suis réellement tombée amoureuse de la Corse. C’était hors saison, en juin, avec des guides Corses qui avaient créé le GR20. Je ne voulais plus repartir. Leurs histoires me faisaient monter les larmes. J’étais complètement sous le charme. On logeait à l’hôtel des Roches Rouges (on n’y est retourné tant de fois depuis), ce séjour était magique. Je crois que c’est pour ça que je suis attacher à toi comme par une connection invisible ! :-)
http://www.mode9.frv
happiness is letting destiny take the wheel
i really love this sentence
Lorsque je vais au village, je finis toujours telle que tu l’as décrit, sauvageonne, poussiéreuse, cheveux en bataille, tongs.
Et c’est lorsque je descends à Ajaccio et que je me regarde dans les miroirs des vitrines et des cabines d’essayage que je mesure l’ampleur des dégâts !
Mais c’est sublime et tellement agréable de vivre façon Thelma et Louise
je pense que c’est très sexy
bien plus qu’en mode NY
et les mecs s’en foutent des poils, j’ai déjà pu le noter
enfin les méditerranéens en tous cas !
Garance, it sounds like true love and memories made in heaven. The best guys love us au naturel. Dude’s maybe got to watch you giving birth someday LOL!
Garance tu es merveilleuse. Je t’adore.
Avant de sortir avec mon mec, on était amis et on est partis en road-trip avec tous nos copains dans l’Ouest au Canada. Il m’avait donc déjà vue en train d’essayer de surfer (mal) à Tofino, pas douchée, fatiguée, les cheveux plein de sel, la combi qui colle au bikini moche, le mascara qui coule, ou encore émettant une bonne odeur de feu de bois après une soirée s’mores dans les Rockies. C’était très libérateur, je savais avant même qu’on sorte ensemble qu’il m’avait vue dans tous mes états ;)
This reminds me of the 3 week boat trips my husband and I, along with our three kids, had every summer -up until 5 years ago. All 5 of us in a 40 foot boat- along the coast of Norway. (I could write a novel- but, will keep this short!) The point of my post is- that to be “in the wild” with no showers, personal space and living very simple- is SO GOOD FOR ALL OF US! If you find someone who loves to do that too, well that is heaven! For me, it would take a couple of days to adjust (a week), then I´d give myself over to the nature. Be a part of it, enjoy the beauty of nature, and do with what we had a long with us. After three weeks, we would look like we were lost at sea for a year, but, then- coming home would be like a GIANT ORGASMIC experience when we took a warm shower and have back our kitchen and living SPACE!
We don´t do this anymore because the kids are older- but, I do love that we did that. The kids has awesome memories of it and still talk about it. Best type of vacation (living simple and close to nature) ever!
Que du bonheur quoi ! Vive l’Amour ! Vive la France (et la Corse …) et puis ça doit être si … exotique pour un américain peut être ?! Mouah ah ah ah !!!
Loved how you solved the problem by bathing in the sea….so romantic! Garance, you give me an “awe” moment every time! This one is my all time fave! xo
(=’.’=)
-Lauren
adorn la femme
I don’t like traveling with friends that are too frou-frou. I have been on glorious camping trips with friends (my “chosen family”) where we all look like $**T in the morning over our oatmeal and instant coffee, but it’s the memories you recall later – looking up at a wild sky of stars, waterfalls, natural swimming holes where we chilled our beers and swam like mermaids. Translation: life is too short to get all bent out of shape over some pimples from oily sunscreen and dirty skin from cold showers. ;) Anyone that grew up near the ocean will delight in counting swimming as a shower. Hahaha besides when everyone is dirty, you can’t smell the BO! It’s heaven.
Garance,
Corse est de l’île de Beauté :) ?
‘She’ is – for 100000000…%
So in my opinion – in any kind of circumstances you and all other women there are just beauty !!!
When all around, you can see such incredible beauty of Corsica (in all senses and meanings), you feel beauty yourself too :)
Even after day long hiking on GR20 where showers etc. are very ‘simple’ and the coldest in the WORLD, and hat, I mean any hat, is the best friend of your hair – but you are the happiest person and can’t stop smiling (‘outside and inside you’).
Beauty and happy in your soul, mind and body :)
Corse beauty is part of you Garance always and everywhere :)
Thank you for this post :) <3
I might as well have written this post !! I went running off into the woods with my man for a while.
And so did the beauty rituals. They all ran away from me. Showers are a luxury. Didnt care for anything that is not sunscreen. Happy to eat noodles and laugh all night over beer.
Cheers to days like these. Where life exists in us.
p.s: We only lost a glove and one hand was cold.
– Archana.
Garance, your holiday sound perfect! Eating smoking and drinking is my favourite past time on holiday :) Last year in Croatia I was walking around with bird’s nest on my head (instead of hair), chipped manicure and long gone pedi. But what I really remember is that feeling of happiness that stayed with me after my nails returned to my usual groomed red state :)
Ana
http://www.champagnegirlsabouttown.co.uk
Tu as l’air super amoureuse!!!!!!!! et ton article me rappelle que bientôt je pars pour la première fois en vacances (en Sicile) avec mon italien d’amour et que ahahahhh je stresse de ne pas être à mon avantage, de me sentir affreuse, de penser à l’impact sur sa vision de moi etc… et j’essaie de trouver les produits et fringues qui me sentir pas trop mal.
“Ho bon Dieu d’bon Dieu d’bon Dieu” comme dirait Jean Gabin ! Cette cabane en bois me rend hystérique, c’est bien l’idée que je me fais du paradis !
On a la même chose à Madagascar, pas d’eau courante (mais la mer), pas de toilettes (mais des fourrés), pas de frigo, pas de produits de beauté, pas d’électricité, juste la mer, le vent, les braises pour faire la cuisine, et le matelas qu’on met sur la terrasse pour lire tout l’après-midi après s’être baigné dans la mer. Et on est les plus beaux du monde ! Même sur les photos !
Super post, Garance! Ancore une fois merci!!!!
the thing is — you’ll remember this more than anything else. You are with a man who loves you no matter what — that’s beautiful
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Garance, I thought you would be more ‘laid-back’ about things and just go with the flow (as they say) (whoever ‘they’ are). Chris sounds too good to be true, lucky you. Relax and enjoy, looks really don’t matter when love is involved, he obviously isn’t a shallow person. Count your lucky stars you have found your perfect (if there is such a thing) match. There are lots of beautiful, perfectly groomed women out there without a man (or woman) or even a date.
Hhahhahahhahahahh great post Garance !
By the way……men don’t even notice these things so stop torturing yourself!
I wish I had known this decades ago….I would have saved thousands on self-tanning creams, after sun lotion, hair removal stuff, stuff that dyed, stuff that made you smoother, stuff to rub off your dead skin, stuff that made you browner, then lighter again, stuff to make your skin grow back, stuff to make hair straight, then curly, then limp, then full, then bloody curly again, stuff to make your eye lashes grow, stuff to tweeze the brows, stuff to make your brows bushy again, stuff to whiten teeth, make your breath smell good, cuticle stuff, nail stuff, elbow stuff, sun spots stuff……..
You know what? : it does not make a difference BECAUSE NICE MEN DO NOT NOTICE
The only ones that notice are the ones that take longer than you to dress up in the morning, and you do not want to be with one of those
so enjoy going back to nature and let your hair grow out and look like crap….if it makes you happy then your smile should make him melt and fall in love with you even more
http://www.fashionsphinx.com
hahahahahahahahhaha !!! viva giro !!
Une relation ne peut pas durer si les deux partenaires ne se montrent pas 100% naturels… Stop aux artifices ! Tu as peut-être la preuve que c’est le bon :)
“Dans la série des messages contradictoires, on est très tôt bombardée quand on est une femme avec l’idée qu’on ne nous prendra pas comme on est. Ni avec du poids, ni avec des poils, ni sans cheveux soyeux comme une truffe de labrador. Et du côté des hommes avec l’injonction inverse : ne t’en fais pas, il y aura toujours quelqu’un pour t’aimer comme tu es, l’important c’est de rester soi-même. Les deux sont simplistes. S’il y a clairement trop de pression pour les femmes (avec des mecs plus relax que l’image qu’on en donne, en majorité), il manque parfois un peu de pression pour les hommes (même si effectivement, on sera toujours le fantasme de quelqu’un). (…)
lu quelques minutes avant, sur http://www.gqmagazine.fr/sexactu# !!
You have to be so sure of yourself to wear short hair. I did for a while in my early 20s but it’s different in your mid to late 30s. Those days when you don’t feel great – hormones – it was a comfort then to feel “feminine” with my long hair at least. With short hair you have to be very confident in your feminity. (Your Robert DeNiro reference…)
Even in a place where sharp objects r taken away ….i’d find a way……
i am so happy for u …..and Chris
Garance- I have been reading your blog for years now and always love everything, but this is by far one of my favorite things you have shared, I absolutely had to comment!! First of all, I was laughing out loud– this is hysterical! Secondly, I’ve been in these situations/often dread any potential future situations that involve bearing it all to your significant other, and I just truly appreciated reading your story. It reminded me what a waste it is to stress so much about appearing perpetually effortless and pristine; we are all human, and the right guy will never care about pimples or dark circles or body hair ;) Thank you!
Oh, I love the text. I think modern woman is like a prisoner of her own vision of herself. I too have problem with that but sometimes it’s just ok to let it go and I think men appreciate that. They realize they are with a human being not a plastic doll :) robert de niro, huh?
http://lifestylebyola.blogspot.com/
You inspire me every day, Garance :)
I think men really do not care, it is some pattern we take on, from childhood, that dictates how we see ourselves as women…. The closer you get to 50 and you start the hormonal change, the more able you are to let all that go, and we all know that no serum is going to reverse aging… Being at peace with ourselves and having a voice is by far, the learning lesson of aging as a women….
Ha ha. J’ai bien ri. Merci Garance.
Bon, y a aussi ce truc un peu incontrôlable et magique (qui fait oublier tout poil, bouton, cheveux salés, yeux de panda…) : C’est la lumière dans les yeux.
Lumière de la mer, des vacances, du soleil qu’on intègre (malgré nous) dans les yeux.
Ce truc dans le visage unique qui dit un peu “là, joie de vivre”.
Et ça, ça rend incroyablement belle et sexy à croquer (parait-il). Ton Chris n’a sûrement pas pu y résister ! non ?
I don’t shave legs for my man, if I shave them (rarely), it’s because of other people on the beach and to get a nicer tan. And even then only when they’re at full length. I wouldn’t want to be the only one with super-long hairs finding their way out of my bikini, but if they’re short, it’s not a problem.
My skin and hair were in their best state of my life when I was in India and didn’t have running water at all for over 2 weeks. I swam in the sea and used a bucket of water (that we carrried to our hut from several kilometers away) to rinse myself once every few days. My skin was silky smooth and so clear, and my hair was soft and shiny like never before!
Encore une fois, ton écriture et tes récits témoignent que tu es aussi chic qu’authentique. Donc = j’adore toujours te lire. Je te souhaite de passer toujours des moments aussi “natural” que tu l’étais en Corse. Comme à NY.
GeniAAAAAl … Merci pour ca! La Corse, le Bonheur sauvage à 3 h de la maison (je compte le trajet jusque l’aéroport puis l’heure consacrée à y attendre… Mon coin de paradis.
récit réjouissant de drôlerie, vive la nature ! :-)
my mom alway was impeccably groomed …its how i grew up…..i would never me another way…..
Quel plaisir de retrouver cette plume drôle, attachante, détachée, pour un récit qui en dit ton long sur ton affection pour cette terre !
Quant à la tête en mode roots, j’ai appris à m’y faire quand hirsute et pas réveillée j’entends mes picci me dire “maman t’es belle!”
The story you have written here actually occurs closer to home and it always brings out an internal struggle for me: you meet a guy (full make-up, great outfit, brushed hair), you go on a few dates (perfect make-up, killer outfit hiding all bodily imperfections, blowed out hair) and then there is the first night he stays over… And every time it freaks me out like crazy! “What will he think when he sees me without makeup, coming out of the shower?!!!” “oh no, he’s up for a disappointment!!”. And I wonder, what tells that about us when we are scared of revealing our natural state?
ça me rappelle un épisode de Sex & the city où Carrie se fait larguer via un post it :D
I just love everything you write,you’re so funny and smart. It’s hard not to become obsessive with checking your blog! Good thing I already pre-ordered your book ;)
This is all very cute, but why do you let your man define you. If you feel great hairy, salty and sun-drenched, that really is all that matters. If he`s a good man, he`ll love you more fore it. But don`t even think that way