DORÉ

Lindy West is one of my favorite writers. She cemented this status when she wrote “Gwyneth Paltrows glows like a radioactive swan” after seeing Gwyneth in person at the Goop Festival. In my opinion, nothing had ever been so accurately described.

So when Mary and I sat down with the masterminds behind the Israeli cult beauty brand, Lavido, you bet your ass I let out an audible yelp when they told me their replenishing serum is indeed part of what makes Gwyneth glow like a swan that has survived the inevitable destruction of humanity.

Gwyneth’s make up artist discovered this magical elixir while traveling through Israel and learned not only does it indeed replenish and repair the skin, but when layered under make-up, you can glow like a swan who probably holds the answers to all of life’s secrets in one of her feathers.

I have no shame. I doused my hands and neck in that stuff right then and there (my face already had makeup on it unfortunately). But come the next morning, and every morning since then, I have been liberally applying this stuff to my face, neck, and décolletage (I’m ashamed to admit how many attempts it took for me to spell “décolletage” correctly. Stay tuned to watch Vanessa school me in French pronunciation.)

But back to this magic elixir. After indeed glowing a little bit like a radioactive swan, but not as much as Gwyneth glows because I still eat bread, I started exploring more of Lavido’s products.

After using their Alert Eye Cream for a week and being stunned by the results, I promptly sat my boyfriend down and said, “It’s time.” (For context, Tyler is 35 and a fair skinned dude who never did much more than splash some water on his face and only recenlty realized how much he hates the sun — and should with his complexion.)

All this to say, it was indeed time for him to start using some eye cream. Actually it was probably time five years ago but men are super sensitive about these things (he mockingly repeated, “it’s time” back to me no less than twenty times after I sat him down) so I was waiting for the right product because I knew I only had one shot at this.

And this was the product.

The even more miraculous thing is that a week later he has stopped sulking about my “it’s time” comment and instead is religiously using Lavido’s Alert Eye Cream before bed.

If a 35 year old man who has all of three products in our shared vanity, has decided to add one more step to his “routine” you know this is a good thing.

I can’t wait to keep trying more of Lavido’s products but I couldn’t wait to tell you about my obsession with these two.