DORÉ

So you made it through the dinner party. You brought the perfect gift to accompany your attendance, you conversed equally (and hopefully intriguingly!) with your seat mates, danced, drank the wine, and left when the host signaled it was time.

Now what?! Do you send a thank you? Is it just a card or should it be a thoughtful gift? Is an emoji-embellished text message or email acceptable? Where does one even get personalized stationery?? Our etiquette expert Jeffrey is back to show us the way.

When to send your thank You

Ideally, your note goes into the mail the day after the event or experience for which you want to thank the host. But realistically if you can post it within the week, that’s acceptable. It is my belief that it is never too late to send a thank you note. There are no hard and fast rules of when to send or not send a note. Do what your heart tells you. If you were genuinely touched or appreciate something, be sure to TELL THEM.

Electronic vs. handwritten

Do what feels right. Some say you respond in the same manner as you were invited. But a mailed, hand written note is always more poignant than an email. Take pride in your note. Invest in personalized stationery, it is worth it. At its simplest, just make sure to say THANK YOU!

Where to send it

If your correspondence begins in a professional setting, it is safe to assume that said correspondence should remain professional until your counterpart has made it clear that a more personal approach is welcome or appreciated. If you are unsure, best to keep things professional and send your gratitude to their office. Also, don’t send a flower arrangement to an apartment if you don’t think someone is there to receive it. Usually, there’s always a person at an office that will accept your gracious gesture.

What to send

Like a hostess gift, you can be as simple or extravagant as you like. The important thing is thinking about what your hostess would like and sending a gift that reflects that. When it comes to flowers, I like to send an orchid plant or amaryllis that will last far longer than cut flowers. The recipient will think of you that much longer ;)

What to say

Be genuine! Express how you feel! You can gush over all the details that made the gathering special or you can simply overwhelm the note card with magnificent handwriting inscribing a simple, gentile, exploitive like DIVINE, LOVE YOU!, YOU ARE PERFECTION, XX. It really has to do with your relationship with the host and how cheeky or loving you want to be. However, don’t start your note with ‘Thank you’ and use ‘I’ sparingly, if at all. You are more original than ‘Thank you’ and the note is truly about them, not you.