11 years ago by
The FWM is back and once again, might do some real damage (to the eyes). The Fashion Week Monster is the Mr. Hyde that comes out of us about a month before fashion week. He is very very mean (and very very ugly).
He’s greedy and needy. He’s an attention seeker. He blows up our bank accounts and makes us do things we’ll regret for months on end.
It’s a little like back-to-school. Or when you get a new job. Or right before a first date? Or when you suddenly get invited to the party of the year?
Just think of that type of pressure.
After spending the summer in jean shorts strolling down streets full of tourists with no fashion stakes, New York suddenly becomes Fashlandia and around you, here are the most superific fashionistas on the planet all showing their newest items and fancy new shiny hair, with their new sinewy muscles and everything else you totally forgot about because of Mexican Cokes at the Wythe Hotel*.
Truth is, it’s a lost cause.
The real truth is that it’s not our goal, really, to try to match the fashion pack.
The real truthiest true truth is that what our mission is in this world, is just to try to be ourselves.
All right, let’s say, be ourselves, but at least have our hair done, maybe.
But ALL THAT, the FWM knows nothing of.
And one fine day, fashion week arrives, and the FWM wakes right up.
Then there you are, four in the morning on Net-A-Porter wanting to buy a multi-colored buffalo hair clutch even though you’re ethically against multi-colored buffalo hair.
A leather maxi-skirt for $12,000 (Who cares about my dental plan?!** I’ll take a plane to France if I get a cavity) that you’ll only wear once til you realize it’s a total FF (Fashion Fail)(A leather maxi-skirt is unwalkable, sister) and that you’ve already ripped off the tag that says “once ripped, there is no way back we’ll never ever refund you, ever” written on it. (Then on the other side, it’s written, “You seriously think you could walk around in a leather maxi-skirt? Ahahah, silly goose.”) You’re never going to make all that money back and shit, you’ve got a toothache now!
(Oops!)(“Hey doc, can I pay you in leather skirts to fill in my cavity?”)(“Not even if it’s like, real leather?!”)
A headband with an apple on it (real-life size, obvi) “because it’s so fun!”.
Obviously, any resemblance to actual events would be purely coincidental and the names of the protagonists have been changed to protect their anonymity.
But the FWM doesn’t stop there.
The FWM creeps into all the layers of our lives and whispers evil thoughts in our ears like…
“Of course you lose 10 pounds in 3 days to get into that sample size skirt. Go eat nothing but cooked leeks in lemon juice. Quick!”
“Yep, if you had short blonde hair, you’d look your best. Go to the salon immediately. Why? Because I said so!”
“Well, duh, of course you can get a chemical peel three days before fashion week starts. Everyone does it. How would everyone be so perfect without that, uh?”
“Of course you can walk a whole day in 8 inch heels! Go get yourself three pairs, one in every color. It’s four in the morning you say? What do you think the INTERNET IS FOR?”
“Pfffff, of course it’s definitely time to wear your florescent pink Moschino outfit you’ve been holding onto for 20 years. This is it’s hour of glory! Get it out! Everyone is going to swoon at your avant-garde fashion sense!”
Ohhhhhh. FASHION WEEK MONSTER, I know thee all too well. AND I’VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU.
This year, you can’t control me.
Right now, as I’m talking to you, I’m proud to announce that I’ve tamed my FWM.
He’s in a cage and I have a keen monitoring system so that he’ll never escape.
Whenever a strange thought gets in my head, I yell out at the studio, or sometimes by text:
CLEAR PVC SKIRT?
And then I simply wait for the responses.
Usually, they get right to it: “Fashion Week Monster!”
Ah but yes. You have to get organized. Like Brad Pitt in World War Z. Always on the watch.
FASHION WEEK MONSTER, you won’t get us.
TINY RED LEATHER DRESS IN A SIZE 6?”
Shut your pie hole, FWM.
———-
• I’ll give you an Address Book to fully explain to you the why of the Mexican Cokes at the Wythe Hotel.
** I promise that I won’t do a post on the healthcare system in American compared with in France. I will say that please, my dear compatriots cherish your doctors. They really really deserve it.
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En fait le FWM c’est Anna Dello Russo ….
You’re lucky, FWM only strikes twice a year! Anna Dello Russo is a victim, like 365 days a year (which is fun and makes fashion not boring)
Really cool post G.! I lauhged out loud for the first time today, and I really needed it!
Visit my blog, your opinion matters to me!
http://www.thedeepbluecory.com/2013/09/red-hot-but-no-chiller-peppers.html
Xoxo Cory
:D !!!!! j’ai arrêté de la suivre sur instagramm :D elle me fatigue !
i’d love to see the fashion circus once :D
http://littleaesthete.com
Excellent !
Fantastic – love this post! xx
Ahahah! Très très très bon post! :)) Là maintenant j’ai juste envie de l’étrangler ce Fashion Week Monster!! :)) … Mais bon la FW serait super morne sans lui et moi derrière mon écran je m’ennuirai ferme! :)) …Bon en fait faut juste le dompter bien comme il faut ;)
Bonne FW Garance, bises!
I love, love and love the illustration! Your post is really funny…fashlandia (OMG!! I love the word) and “Fashion Week Monster”!! Seriously, Garance you’re great!!
http://heelsandpeplum.wordpress.com/
PS: J’oubliai l’illustration est vraiment bien :)
Lol love this, I can only imagine how intense fashion week must be.
xo
http://pinksole.com
très drole comme post. la FW fait faire n’importe quoi !
It’s so comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has feelings like this, even though mine are not related to fashion week. Thanks for sharing!
Ahaha trop drôle, comme le diable de Sophie Fontanel ce matin dans le daily-Elle qui lui susurrait ce week-end de se racheter plein de fringues. A chacune ses démons, c’est déjà bien d’en avoir conscience !! Mais j’avoue que la tentation de s’acheter de nouveaux vêtements/chaussures/accessoires pour la fashion week doit être énorme! Tiens-bon Garance, les dents c’est plus important ;-)
Hahaha j’ai explosé de rire “JUPE EN PVC TRANSPARENT ?” génial !
Alors je suis d’accord, je suis enormement de blogueuses qui se transforment en epouventail pendant une semaine.. Je ne comprends pas, ça doit etre éprouvant de se déguiser, car au fond c’est bien de déguisement qu’il s’agit.. :)
Merci de m’avoir fait rire en cette après midi de travail interminable !
Xxx
http://alicebradshow.blogspot.fr/
http://alicebradshow.blogspot.fr/
Oh, so true, so true. The spirit is willing, but thankfully the wallet is weak.
My biggest problem is (and I hope some can relate) (please) I want the shearling coat, the leather pants, Clare Vivier bag and Rag and Bone boots to such distraction without being able to afford them all, that I go out and buy many less expensive things as consolation, to the point that if I had just saved a little I could actually have purchased some of the lust articles! A cruel irony not apparent because my senses are blinded by FWM.
No more, not this year…..just have to……hang…..on.
XO
It must be hard to be in the fashion industry, always comparing yourself to others and always wanting the next best thing.
http://liveitinerantly.com
Pas de commentaire sur le FWM mais la comparaison avec la première soirée importante d’un nouvel amour fait mieux comprendre les enjeux et la frénésie qui peut s’emparer de nous ;-)
Un commentaire sur le dental plan et le système de santé américain, au delà de nos médecins et de nos mutuelles, c’est nos impôts qu’il faut chérir…
Garance…que tu es drôle! Je suis curieuse… on pourrait voir la jupe qui t’a coûté le prix de ton assurance santé ? :D
Merci pour post plein d’humour et tellement vrai!!! Tu m’as donné le sourire pour toute la journée!! C’est toujours un plaisir de te suivre et de te lire!!!!!! Bonne FW!!!
true post
http://www.pinklemonincrystal.blogspot.com
This made me laugh so hard! The FWM seems to hit my normal style bloggers who happen to get invited to NYC the hardest I think…they look stylish and put together all year, and then suddenly totally crazy. I’m now on the lookout for someone to wear the outfit in the illustration :)
http://www.anna-bird.com
Re the healthcare systems.
We are just getting into the series “breaking Bad” and watching everything from the beginning seasons.
I am trying to explain to my french friends here that:
yes…it is entire likely that – like the lead character in the series – A very bright school teacher who has a descent salary can still be in a shitload of trouble with medical bills if something goes awry with your health. (In fact its more than likely, perhaps maybe the norm?)…
Because the healthcare system here is so different…they quiet simply don’t believe me………
by the way can you put that illustration in your shop? its really good.
i have never bought one before but i will say the one above is totally…well…..me!!!
Haha damn the FWM. I’ve totally fell victim of the FWM. It’s so cliche and desirable all at once. All these outrageous outfit ideas are coming to mind, and I kind of love them.
Side note- please tell me there are “what’s trending” videos to come?
xoxo
http://www.thewrittenrunway.com
I always feel terrible seeing all the ladies go down the street to NYFW while I head to school. I love getting your take on it though!
Your Friend, Jess
Le dessin est magnifique! ton style évolue avec le temps, j’adore!
http://jolicassoulet.wordpress.com
Très bon post! J’ai ri
Bisous
http://www.Lauralexo.com
j’adore le vécu raconté avec distance et jubilation!! Ah le FWM. On comprend la frénésie!
xo. Courage Garance!!:-)
Merci pour ce post qui nous ressemble si tous parfois.
http://www.younglington.wordpress.com
http://www.thefashionmellow.tumblr.com
Fabulous illustration! Full of movement.
http://illustratedlines.blogspot.co.uk/
I also laughed so hard! On a much smaller scale (not in New York but near Seattle:) I get caught in my own clothing/fashion monster-land, of my own making! I end up having weird aspirations and ideas, like, “If I own that Jerome Dreyfuss Twee Purse, then everyone here outside of Seattle will think I am incredibly cool, and possibly French!”……yeah, right:) And, of course, I do this with other odd items, too, that I see in magazines and on websites!
Thank you for your always refreshing, humble, funny and relatable posts! I always love them so.
Merci!!!! xox Kim
J’aime beaucoup ton illustration!
Mafalda ?
http://www.mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr
I was wondering why you “needed” a new fall coat when you already have a few in your closet:)
Once again: bravo Garance. You go down to the point…
Garance it is so good that you mention European health care because i have been meaning to write a post backed by all the recent articles from the New York Times where they compare the cost of an operation in the USA and in the rest of Europe.
It is absolutely shocking and every time I hear people in France complain about their costs/rents/health/teeth/dole/country/whatever I go on a rant because they really have no idea what they have and how lucky they are until they come compare themselves with the USA.
I will write that post soon since I spent $300 a few months ago just to get a doctor to look at my aching sinuses and give me some flu medicine and my American friends find that normal.
FWM excellent hahhhahhahhha !
fashionsphinx.com
vraiment drôle merci pour ce délicieux moment
C’est trop ça aha!
http://www.judithlngr.fr
Of course there are designers that make you want to break your FWM “chain.” Garance, you always choose the best and the most classic styles in the end…I believe in you (except perhaps the bit about the PVC skirt…)
Great post! I think all of us feel this way sometimes.
http://www.FashionSnag.com
C’est clair que c’est devenu de plus en plus le RV des freaks en tout genre ces semaines de la mode ! Mais il y a tellement de filles (ou de mecs d’ailleurs) qui sont sortis de l’anonymat juste grâce à leur look depuis quelques années que je comprends l’hystérie sur le sujet. C’est le jeu et finalement ça ne fait de mal à personnes…
http://www.mode9.fr
Non mais ce FWM, il va falloir lui faire prendre le bateau jusqu’en France, dans n’importe quelle région qui a sa bonne spécialité culinaire. C’est ça, il faut lui faire faire un tour de France des tables gastronomiques. Et seulement ensuite, on lui dit qu’il peut chercher à s’habiller pour la fashion week. Tu verras qu’il sera plus ouvert, concernant la question de la garde-robe !
Quoi qu’il en soit, j’ai beaucoup ri ;) ! Allez, respire et repense à l’été qui vient de s’écouler !
(Coup de cœur pour l’illustration…)
So that is the Fashion Week Monster!!!! Now I’m glad I don’t live in NY or any other Fashion Week city! Where I live these are the fashion rules: you always wear at least 40 colours in the same outfit and you always wear sandals with socks. Well, now that I think about it that second rule is quite trending now, huh? Birkenstocks anyone?
Anyway, I hope you can survive this fashion week month without surrender to the Fashion Week Monster. And if you can’t help it, at least tell us about it! :)
xx,
E.
http://www.theslowpace.com
What a relief…I must say, I prefer your language “FWM” to describe the phenomenon I experience/battle and eventually reconcile versus “bi-polar” or the “blahs” or how about “psychotic episode”…Humour and creativity is what we need more of during these bitter sweet times: bitter because I don’t have a money tree in my backyard and sweet because it demonstrates the creative will power of the human condition. Bravo Garance for your touch!
Totally not the point of the post, but I love that Mexican coke is a thing on the East Coast too. I always assumed it was a quintessentially West Coast thing! If only Coca-Cola would get the hint and make US soda with sugar instead of corn syrup…
this might be the best thing ive ever read.
ah ah génial ce post !!! et le mieux c’est que, comme tu le dis très bien, le FWM existe aussi avant un 1er rdv amoureux ou une soirée génial : le genre de truc dont on pense que ca justifie tous les achats débilesques du monde !!!!
Dîîîîîîites, quel est le problème avec la jupe en cuir rouge en taille 36 ? Non parce que je viens de l’acheter en fait..
This has to be the best NYFW post yet.
Seriously.
Belle lucidité, Garance, et très joli message (avec en prime un très beau dessin)!
On peut aimer la mode sans être… écervelée! Je crois que le FWM se réincarne malheureusement trop souvent sous d’autres formes. Moi, c’est la perspective d’un rendez-vous professionnel qui me fait parfois faire des bêtises. Et travailler dans la mode n’est pas une excuse pour mal gérer son armoire, au contraire.
Je penserai à ce post la prochaine fois que je serai sur le point de perdre toute maîtrise ;-) Merci!
PS: moi je dis merci au système de santé français – et cela m’aide quand il s’agit de payer impôts et cotisations sociales-, parce que je lui “dois” beaucoup…
Haha, funny! Thankfully, I don’t need to worry about those things. An editor friend of mine have simply given up – she wears all black every day during fashion week. Easy peasy. And super sleek.
Tu m’as bien fait rire avec cet article, mais c’est tellement vrai! En tout cas reste toi même garance, on t’adore même sans jupe en cuir qui coûte un bras!
http://www.laurablogmode.com
Hilarious! Put that monster deep under the bed where the wild things are
or like Hushpuppy from the Beasts of Southern Wild said, you gotta “Beast It”
Typiquement le genre de problèmes que des tas de gens de mon entourage sont à mille lieux de comprendre. “Fashion quoi?!” Déjà moi même, je me sens un peu loin de ça, même si ça m’évoque les achats foufous complètement ratés.
Mais tu m’as tellement fait rire! (encore une fois). MERCI Garance.
thank you garance for pointing out the obvious.
even for a sofa fashion watcher like me is now feeling the FWM breathing down my neck, telling that I “deserve” this and that because, look, everyone during fashion week is wearing/using one.
i don’t know what kind of super power you have to tame your FWM, being so close to the seriously world class fashionistas with perfect skin, body, taste, and unlimited bank/account/access to museum quality fashion finds.
If I were you, i’d be in a serious funk after one fashion week that no mind doctor can cure.
I genuinely laughed out loud reading this.
x
http://www.polway.eu
Excellent le poste :) #FWM
http://www.styleinspiratrice.com
Hilarious and fantastic post. Love it!
Happy FW G.
xoxo
Love this so much and I want to buy the FWM illustration!!
You’re fabulous!
#FWM
Hahaha. Great post!
http://www.ireneweekly.com
Pour moi, le “spectacle” est sur le podium, ceux qui sont invités à assister aux défilés sont censés être des spectateurs (professionnels, journalistes…), on s’en fiche de leurs fringues à eux… OK je débarque complétement, je n’y connais vraiment rien au milieu de la mode ;)
Oh moins, il est glam’ ton monster. Je suis tjs étonnée de la vitesse à laquelle les gds principes des gens cédent pr une petite promotion ou autre micro truc insensé. Le pire c’est dans la même situation mon Moi Mesquin se serait reveillé encore plus vite. Pr l’instant, j’ai une stratégie: j’évite. Ms comme j’ai pas l’inetention d’être outsider 4-ever je vais devoir trouver une solution… et vite…. ;-))
Merci pr ttes tes updates en direct de la fashion week malgré ton emploi du temps qui doit être très chargé j’imagine!
I read every day and have never commented, but I HAD to for this one! The whole post made me laugh out loud because it is all so true!
xo Lisa
Making Life’s Lemons
My fashion week monster makes me bitchy and angry due to the fact that I’m not invited to fashion week.
One word – OK two: hilarious and true!
J’adore Garance, j’adore ce billet! Merci de relativiser tout cela pour nous! Nous avons en effet toutes les mêmes démons – il n’y a pas de honte :-)
http://www.happyarli.com
I’ve just decided that this is my all time favorite post on your blog. I LOVE it. :D
Really nice post! You are totally true
Love that post, really explain all the things we can’t really see as an outsider!
Sandrine xx
http://www.iamsandrine.com
Garance, you are a rock star!! Keep up your always surprising work:-) Cheers from The Netherlands.
Hihihihi, trop drôle !!!!
Spot on Garance!
Lovely post!
akR
ahhh the FWM! It hit me other day almost as badly as a craving for a piece of chocolate cake–did I really need the purple poncho that i bought that doesn’t quite fit right and that i can only wear once?
nope.
http://www.thechannelingboard.com
TU EST TROP DRÔLE GARANCE!!!, MDR
I think the FWM looks a lot like the TBM (The Blogger Monster) that’s also making do crazy things sometimes. Hopefully I get it under control like you very soon :)
xo Hanneke
http://www.hannekeverstegen.com
Super ce croquis, et très marrant le post !
Système de santé : Vive la France !
Garance ton post est trop drôle, ha, ha, MDR!
C’est vrai que ces dernieres annees le street style est vraiment big, et les bloggeurs/stylistes sont en folie et j’avoue ca donne envie de faire exploser la carte bleue surtout quand on est dans le milieu!Bon courage pour le reste de la fashion week et resiste au FWM!
http://www.lebazhaar.com
I loved this… lady*, you are BRAVE. :)
(bc lady > “girl”. ugh.)
Haha, tu viens de décrire mon quotidien depuis quelques semaines. Je viens d’obtenir pour la première fois mon accréditation pour la Fashion Week de Paris et je stress À MORT pour trouver quoi porter. Du style “mais bien sur que j’ai besoin d’un manteau oversize à la Carven alors que je fais un minuscule 5p2.”
This was awesome, just awesome.
~Syd
We all need to talk about coca cola!
I got a coke at milk bar (A crack pie and a Mexican coke please…awkward order) and they mentioned their coke is Mexican because its the only way to get coke with NORMAl SUGAR in the US! What!? My mind was blown!
Fellow Europeans appreciate the home comforts of free healthcare & coke with sugar!
Oh, so much beauty!
Merci :)
Llyane
Nous aimons nos mutuelles et même nos docteurs, sois en convaincue.
En tant que mère d’ado habité par un autre type de monster (le “I am the king of the longboard” monster, ou le très courant “I am 14 therefore I am stupid” monster), qui, en plus de se briser les os à maintes reprises, vient de se faire envahir par un vrai monster microbien lui valant 3 jours d’intensive care, je peux t’assurer que j’ai été plusieurs fois à deux doigts de tomber amoureuse de toutes les blouses blanches des services pédiatriques de l’hôpital du coin, docteurs, infirmières, aide-soignantes, filles comprises!
Ma grand-mère disait que la mode était une vieille folle, mais ça ne l’empêchait pas d’être très coquette et de se pomponner comme une vraie fashion week addict!
Hahahahha!!
Any tips on how to keep the monster caged? Seriously need some help in that department LOL
Love love love the post! I think we can all relate to it, one way or another.
Guilty as charged,
Jilly Gator
Moi je ne demande qu’une chose : des photos, des photos de FWM !!!
De toi (enfin de tes tenues toutes seules si t’as pas envie qu’on te voie dedans) ou de tous ces FWM que tu croiseras pendant la Fashion week (et qu’on voit souvent au Petit Journal de Canal +, présenté par Yann Barthès)
Tss comment résister ?!!!?? Alt, toujours. Beau mais pas très marrant, on a de la chance que des filles se fassent avoir par ce méchant monstre pour contempler leurs délires.
LOL you’re so funny and I always love your gorgeous illustrations.
http://www.nooralqahtani.com
:D j’adore l’humour!
Fantastique, ce post! Quelle énergie, j’adore! Et l’illustration … que dire sinon que mon oeil d’historienne d’art voit dans tes dessins quelque chose qui a véritablement pris forme depuis les débuts de ce blog – et que c’est superbe.
:)
Bahaha, this is too hilarious, and I laughed out loud way too much reading this.
8″ heels? I was cursing everyone within arms reach after a few hours in my 2″ sandals during Couture Week! All that walking between shows! I swore to stick to my Isabel Marant sneakers and Dicker boots, regardless of what I was wearing from the next day after that!
Am so sad I couldn’t make it to NYFW!
Look forward to living vicariously through you and your brilliant posts
Brigadeiro’s Blog
:D
Courage, Garance, on est avec toi!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA il est génial ce post Garance ! tu décris super bien les lubies du shopping en général, et ayant fait 2 fashion weeks, je comprends tout à fait ce que tu racontes ! A bas le Fashion week monster !
J’arrive en fin de commentaires mais je voulais simplement dire : que c’est bon de rire des le matin !
Le dessin : superbe !
Bon courage pour la FW !
Ahaha j’en pleure de rire ! Bon courage
Xoxo
http://camilleslifestylediary.blogspot.fr/
hahahaha…amusing and relaxing and refreshing when in FW chaos to keep these words in mind..and the beast in its cage!
CDR
Great post!! (But you ARE a part of the fashion pack, Garance. At least from a “normal” girl’s point of view.) So looking foreward to your fashion week posts!
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Superfunny post!!!!
Morte de rire :-) Il faudrait peut-être demander à Emmanuelle Alt comment elle fait pour résister au Monster: elle semble au courant de tout ce qui se passe, mais ne paraît céder à aucune tentation.
Belle journée
Hey, I’m dying to laugh !! FWM as a new original (ridiculous yes a kind of !!) concept…I’m loving it, Garance ! Happy NYFW !;-)
Other similar concept : CFM (Cannes Festival Monster !! Let’s think about it…and the question : is it reasonable to wear the chip card all the day 24h in Cannes Streets !;-)
Merci merci, c’est drole !!
CARAWELLE
http://carawelle-marketing.com/
Il faut que tu proposes cette illustration à la vente ! Maintenant je vais lire l’article :)
Dearest Garance, You have just made me giggle so, and made me feel like so much less of a LOOOSSSERRRR for all of my many fashion faux pas (why, hey there, bronze lame suit that makes me look like an Alien Queen Elizabeth!) Every so often, I fight this huge urge to trash everything, sell it all on ebay, and just wear nothing but black jersey from Agnes B. But then I remind myself that I am part drag queen, and life is so much better with a flourescent feather judiciously sprinkled here and there.
M A D E M Y Y E A R !
‘All right, let’s say, be ourselves, but at least have our hair done, maybe.’ – LOL, loved it!
Oh moi aussi je l’ai ce fameux FWM depuis deux semaine j’arrête pas de pensé aux fringue que je vais acheté etc pour la prochaine en janvier à Paris… Génial ton article :)
http://vertiegraphie.blogspot.fr
Oups j’ai oublié de rajouté: je crois t’avoir vue a la fashion week de Paris en Mars je voulais te demander si je pouvais te prendre en photo mais le temps que je me décide a t’aborder tu avait disparut !
http://vertiegraphie.blogspot.fr
Hilarious and refreshing! Love it!