DORÉ

I was so honored when my friend Stephanie Danan asked me to participate in the Pre-Fall campaign for Co, the brand she co-created with her partner, Justin Kern. Not only because I deeply respect her and everything she does and that I LOVE the brand —— but because I know how important it is for her to collaborate with people she truly connects with, on a human level, which I find incredibly inspiring, and hits close to home.

Her journey is fascinating and her honesty about it, incredibly refreshing.
Here we talk about her journey from studying and working in the film industry for more than a decade to moving into the fashion industry, a world she once swore she’d never join.

Her story is full of wisdom gained through deep reflection and years of stripping away the layers, to finally live a life that is in line with who she truly is. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Stephanie as much as I did.

[podcast_episode episode=”281465″ ]

On never wanting to work in fashion when she was younger…
I grew up in it, but swore I’d never be in fashion. As a child, I experienced it in a very difficult way. It felt very superficial to me and I was seeking something deeper. I don’t know if it was the life my parents were leading at the time or all the clothes. I always loved the clothes, even if I rejected it, I did always love the clothes, but I wanted something more and that’s why I ended up going into film.

On visiting an ashram with her mother at 17 years old…
Within hours I found myself in a sari with a dot on my forehead and chanting and kind of freaking out. I broke down into tears for the next three days. It was the most extraordinary experience of my life. I broke down because all of my teenage angst came to the surface.

How taking a film class helped her realize she wanted to tell stories…
I wrote a paper on a film and the whole experience of watching the film, understanding the film and writing about it, felt like this spiritual journey. Just the process of understanding how you make and write a film, the actors, the story, it just felt so philosophical. The narrative structure just felt so real and relatable to me. From that moment on, I was like, I want to tell stories and be a storyteller.

On relating to those who are searching…
I think I just relate to people who are constantly searching for themselves. When you’re searching for yourself and you’re honest about it, it usually means you’re free and you put your flaws on the table and don’t try to be perfect. Those kind of characters are characters who have a quirkiness to them, and are a little bit more interesting.

On fighting against tradition only to realize you’re immersed in it…
You fight it and you’re like, I’m a modern woman and I do not need this, this does not define me or my success. Then, I found myself in my 30s, trying to keep up with the Jones like a total idiot. It was like somebody drugged me and all of a sudden I was a robot. Just like everyone else, you will follow the path and the path is to get married, get a house, make money, be successful, learn how to cook, be perfect, look amazing, drive the right car. I don’t know what happened, but it was like I was hypnotized for six years and woke up in this deep nightmare!

On coming to terms with the end of her marriage…
I came out of that experience feeling like I’d lost myself completely but with a desire to not only find myself, but to finally live a life that resembled me. And when you start living a life that resembles you and is in sync, it’s amazing.

On realizing she wasn’t a conventional woman…
Once I started to strip away the layers of the superficial things, the idea that I was going to be in this perfect relationship with this perfect man, and that my career needed to look like that, I started to shed all that. Almost like an onion, you strip away and strip away, and I started to get to the heart of who I was. I realized I actually was not a conventional woman and that I liked things that felt unconventional.

On not ending up with a conventional life…
When that didn’t happen and I was 37, I was in a state of mind of, my life is going to be just as extraordinary with or without the child, with or without the husband. It’s not a better life, it’s a different life. I would be just as excited with this life as that life. What the world or god will give me, or what the energy will bring to me, I don’t know. But I do know that I can control how excited I am about either life.

On the appeal of confidence…
When we do a lot of work on ourselves, when we’re in a place where we’ve come out of something difficult and painful and we’re ready to really dig deep, we begin to feel more and more empowered. You exude that empowerment and feel great and I think it’s very attractive.

On the beginning of Co…
We very quickly wanted to do projects together – film projects and art projects. And then fashion came along as one of the options, literally because we found ourselves in my mother’s garage one afternoon helping her clean it out and opening boxes. In those boxes were all these incredible clothes my mother wore in the 80s, she was incredibly glamorous. She wore Yohji Yamamoto and Commes des Garçons, she was always impeccable, super avant garde and on the cutting edge of fashion. She’d go to fashion shows with Joyce Ma, they were the glamour girls. It was really incredible. My youth came back, but all of a sudden in this very positive light. We just decided as a project, we didn’t think it was going to be something we did forever, but just as a project, to do a collection. That’s how it started.

On creating a more edited lifestyle…
We want less and less product in our closets and want a more edited lifestyle. I’m super in line with that and believe in it 100%. I believe it’s important to have few but beautiful things and love them and for these things to really bring happiness to your life. This idea of stripping it down to the heart, it’s full circle. Using that philosophy in creating product is really interesting right now because we live in so much excess and I’m feeling that deeply and it breaks my heart, the excess of things. In the way we design and in building this company and this platform, philosophically we’re going to become more stripped down, more edited, less is more, more refined and getting to the heart.

On following and breaking the rules…
There was a period of time during the eight years of the brand, there was definitely a moment where we were like ok, we really have to grow and follow a few of the rules. We realized that wasn’t really working for us. So in the last year and a half, there’s been a real revelation that actually, our growth is going to be based on fully doing things that we love. And on our terms. Because when you start growing artificially, there’s a disconnect and people feel it. Even if that growth is slow, for it to feel real and authentic and for us to continue being ourselves and true to our voice.