Hair…Down There
7 years ago by
So what’s the deal with your pubic hair?
Oddly enough, it’s a frequent topic of conversation at the studio (the joys of working in an office of all women), but not frequently talked about anywhere else I look. Ah how I miss the days of reading French Elle when I lived in Paris with what seemed like an annual report on pubic hair grooming trends….
I digress. Ok so what’s the deal these days? In my early 20s I thought it was all the rage to wax everything off (and I mean everything). I became a Brazilian pro and was proud of my bare-ness. But as I’ve gotten older–and into a serious relationship–I’m not so keen on the bald look. Unfortunately for us millennials, a lot of guys our age have grown up with internet porn and fantasize over the no-bush, no-nothing look. But I got tired of looking like a 12 year old down there. Currently I’m experimenting with what I’d call a sole patch, but I’m curious to know the current cultural pubic hair school of thought actually is? And for those of you that are in relationships, does your partner have an opinion on what you do? And do you let it influence your grooming decisions?
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I never went “all the way”. I thought the Brazilian madness was…well, madness. I keep it neatly groomed and that’s it. And my husband (of many years) does not have any opinion whatsoever. The. End.
I agree Jill! It was (still is) total madness! x
After a decade of pubic grooming trauma I’ve finally gone Full Bush and I love it. Turns out I don’t have to have painful ingrown hairs, uncomfortable chafing, or terrible razor burn – in fact, my sweet Virginia is the healthiest and most comfortable she’s ever been. Almost as if pubic hair serves a positive evolutionary function.
My bank account is also much healthier. And I don’t have to pretend like it’s no big deal that someone is ripping out my pubes by the roots while we chat.
I did get a series of laser hair removal treatments (another story for another day), which did not render me bald (thankfully), but which did thin my thatch a bit.
My husband does love a Brazilian, but he loves my increased sex drive (thanks, healthy, happy vagina!) even more.
“And I don’t have to pretend like it’s no big deal that someone is ripping out my pubes by the roots while we chat.”
Love.
I’m right there with you Amy! I’ve had the worst of it and after a while, I basically thought F*&k this! I contemplated laser just for my bikini line but I’m happy that I’ve opted against it ultimately. x
Reading that first line with a Seinfeld voice–uncomfortable.
Hahahah best comment ever
I agree. I took it all off for my first serious boyfriend. He really liked it. But I felt like a girl, not a woman. After that, I went for the same approach you’re now taking. Now I’m keeping it trimmed, but letting it all grow out over the winter to see how I feel about it. My husband doesn’t care what I do. We’ve been together for 13 years and he thinks I’m sexy no matter what (which is pretty damn amazing).
As it should be! x
First of all, let me tell you how liberating it feels to be able to talk about pubic hair in public! Secondly, I have to confess I’m one of these girls that still shave, never waxed never laser’d! I’ve kept the same style since I was 18 – big patch of hair with everything else nicely shaved. I usually don’t let my boyfriends have any opinion on the matter exactly because the great majority would be “shave everything!!!!) and tbh I’ve never had a problem in the past with it, which means boys don’t really pay as much attention as we think (like with most things….)
Yes! I’m happy we’re talking about it here–it’s something we should all be embracing (I think!). And I’m with you on the above. The only problem I run into is summer months and bikini season. I’m an Italian Jew and my hair is dark and thick and grows so fast, it’s hard to shave or remove it quickly enough without getting terrible razor burn or looking like Miranda in the Sex and the City movie. C’est la vie! x
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the down there region has seen a variety of seasons of well groomed, well cared for and flat out forgotten about. Although a Brazilian has always been well received in the past, he never has asked for it or complained when it’s not there. If I’m happy and aroused and sexual, I don’t think he has time to even think about it! I’ve settled on keeping it trim and a clean bikini wax semi regularly. And if I’m wanting to make it a bit more special, I’ll do a more dramatic French bikini. After pushing two babes out from down there I can’t bring myself to have to endure the pain of a Brazilian. I’m happy and my wallet is happy to let it go. And well, there are other ways to keep him happy.
In Brazil waxing rules are so democratical that I think so funny that this kind of pubic look was given to us. Talking to my longtime boyfriend, I’ve found out many brazilian men don’t like the all shaved look, because of this child resemblance. I personally like to take it all off because of the easyness and convenience of living in a tropical country.
Good topic…I’ll never go all the way. I’m a woman, there’s supposed to be hair down there!
Hey Emily, great post! I maintained a Brazillian for about 5 years and then 3 months ago my wax lady moved. She was really wonderful. I didn’t want to have to go through the trouble of finding someone else was kind over the look, and I was tired of the painful experience. I have to say tho- I loved how soft n fresh I felt after a wax. So I’m full bush now and keep it trimmed down. No more ingrown hairs or discomfort but come summer or holidays I might turn to sugaring (which I did before waxing) and go with a classic landing strip.
It’s no one’s business what you do with your pubes, as long as they’re tidy. I’ve received compliments from guys who are sick of being in bed with women trying to look like small children.
This isn’t SFW, but some of you might enjoy reading Whores of Yore and their essay on how pubic hair fashions have changed throughout millennia: http://www.thewhoresofyore.com/kates-journal/hair-today-gone-tomorrow-getting-to-the-roots-of-pubic-hair
(You can follow them on Twitter at @WhoresofYore, too)
I’m in my mid sixties now and I still shave. Such a pain! My husband of 30 years does not care at all what “style” I choose. But, I keep it shaved mostly with a small and narrow patch. At my age, we need a little coverage. In my opinion (not my husbands) she’s not as cute as she used to be!
I unfortunately overflow quite a bit on the sides which can get uncomfortable in the summer (or winter). So, my basic rule is to take off what would peak out of standard underwear or swimsuit. Otherwise, just keep everything trim. But it’s always for my comfort and has never been to please a guy. (Shaving my legs though is for both me and them though. I like the smoothness of it all but at the same time I don’t panic if I’m with a guy and haven’t shaved in a while. I’ve never been rejected for sex for unshaven legs.)
I’ve never gone full Brazilian and I have had several men practically praise me for keeping it natural as they were sick of girls going bare. And well, the praise turned into increased passion so there’s that.
I grew up in Italy in the 90s and early 2000s: although having a well-groomed bikini line was considered a must, Brazilians were a taboo or something girls wouldn’t even consider (I remember my boyfriend at the time, who liked porn a bit too much honestly, asked me to wax it all off and I was disgusted… I even had half-thoughts he might like early-teenage girls a bit too much… No wonders we broke up).
When I moved to Belgium I had a cultural shock when I discovered that basically every girl and man were shaving it all off. I started doing that too, in my year as a single, but always hated the itch due to re-growth (and honestly took me a while to get used to look like – as you said – a 12 year old girl). I then passed to Brazilian waxing when I started dating my current boyfriend (and started trusting a Belgian beautician LOL), and honestly I love the perfect smooth feeling and the low maintenance. I alternate it with periods of longer hairs (simply because I need to find the time to go wax again :p) but I always keep the area groomed. My boyfriend is super nice with everything related to my body, he says as long as I like it or feel comfortable he likes it too. He never really expressed preference for any of the “looks” (although I asked him many times, because it would make it so much easier to decide if I should spend those 50 bucks at the salon or not :p).
I think next I’ll try the Brazilian with the landing strip or the triangle although I have the feeling it requires a bit more maintenance than the all-off style.
(LOL I love to talk about this, it’s a frequent topic with my girlfriends too!)
xx Al
I grew up in Italy in the 90s and early 2000s: although having a well-groomed bikini line was considered a must, Brazilians were a taboo or something girls wouldn’t even consider (I remember my boyfriend at the time, who liked porn a bit too much honestly, asked me to wax it all off and I was disgusted… I even had half-thoughts he might like early-teenage girls a bit too much… No wonders we broke up).
When I moved to Belgium I had a cultural shock when I discovered that basically every girl and man were shaving it all off. I started doing that too, in my year as a single, but always hated the itch due to re-growth (and honestly took me a while to get used to look like – as you said – a 12 year old girl). I then passed to Brazilian waxing when I started dating my current boyfriend (and started trusting a Belgian beautician LOL), and honestly I love the perfect smooth feeling and the low maintenance. I alternate it with periods of longer hairs (simply because I need to find the time to go wax again :p) but I always keep the area groomed. My boyfriend is super nice with everything related to my body, he says as long as I like it or feel comfortable he likes it too. He never really expressed preference for any of the “looks” (although I asked him many times, because it would make it so much easier to decide if I should spend those 50 bucks at the salon or not :p).
I think next I’ll try the Brazilian with the landing strip or the triangle although I have the feeling it requires a bit more maintenance than the all-off style.
(LOL I love to talk about this, it’s a frequent topic with my girlfriends too!)
xx Al
I’ve got three very young kids so I’m stuck in that, “I’m so busy I don’t have time for it so let it bush out” vs “oh yay! You want me to take you to the pool again!(heavy sarcasm)” I keep it trimmed and the edges waxed or in a pinch shaved for my swimsuit. I used to get brazillians but now with 3 girls, it feels a bit creepy and I want to be a role model of being comfortable in my body for them.
More or less same experience. I got crazy about Brazilian, which I must say I liked a lot mostly for sexual sensation, mine not only his ;-). Now I keep half Brazilian, nicely trimmed bigger patch in front and rest zero hair. This is how I like it. As for the guys they truly don’t care but sometimes are crazy about the bushy style hahaha!
I’m working sometimes as a naked model in a art school. Believe me, you feel less naked with some hair down there ;-) So my style is “nothing should get outside my bikini but what’s inside is my business”. And I agree with the first comments : our boyfriends may have an opinion, but it’s our choice and our body – waxing is very painful, shaving results in my case in awful spots, and men never have to deal with this kind of painful and time-consuming issues. If I have to wax off everything .. then you do the same, honey ;-)
I wax but not completely. I always did and haven’t changed my pubic hair for any boyfriend or for my husband. He prefers it completely bald but you know…he is a guy…
I have never gone Brazilian bare and I am very happy with my decision. Why do women have to go through so much pain? I never understand the bare ladies. I trim mine every so often and that’s it. In the summer time I shave it some times because of the heat. And promise not to do it again because it itches when they start to grow… In my opinion, it’s not worth it. Pubic hair is natural. Accept it and live with it. I think it is beautiful, because it’s a part of me.
Je suis d’accord avec toi, je trouve que le 0 poil fait trop prépubère, ça me gêne. Le poil va avec le développement des hormones et de la sexualité. Je suis une enfant, je n’ai pas de poils. Je suis une ado, j’ai un début de poils. Je suis une femme, j’ai des poils pubiens. Ca va avec une belle poitrine, des hanches, une sensualité féminine. J’aime être femme et recevoir pleinement ma féminité.
Alors je ne suis pas habituée au “sur-poil”, c’est à dire aucune épilation mais je fais du classique années 70 : aisselles et bas des jambes épilés, et petit triangle pubien. Il ne faut pas que les poils sortent du maillot, enfin je trouve ça vilain. J’adore les corps des films roses des années 70, la forme des seins, les poils pubiens, pour moi c’est sensuel.
Les poils peuvent aussi faire partie du plaisir. Tirer doucement ou même un peu plus fort sur les poils pubiens est un excitant. Je l’avais ressenti et je l’ai lu il y a pas longtemps mais je ne sais plus où.
Mon mec : je fais comme je veux, ça ne l’empêche pas de venir dire bonjour à mon sexe. C’est je pense un problème qu’on se créent nous les femmes, et que rencontrent les jeunes hommes avec peu d’expérience de sexualité.
So funny. I was just contemplating whether to get a Brazilian wax before meeting an ex or not because thats the way he liked it but i prefer au naturale especially during sex because other wise i feel too bare like a little girl which even effects my mood! My preference is in the middle get a little wax little trim keep it clean but not all the way.;)plus i do not think its healthy to have it waxed all the time, there is a reason for the bush and i personally think its sexy!
I stopped with full brazlian about a year ago and it was the best idea. The comfort, no ingrown hair, … I like to have it trimmed and shaved on sides.
EVERY guy I slept with was super positive about it. I mean, not only they respected it, they mostly said they like it more than completely shaved. That I look like a woman, not a plastic toy. So, girls, try it, you might be surprised. .)
Having just completed a course on sexual health and being a family doctor, I have realised our hair down there does have a purpose! Mostly as another protective barrier against infection and skin irritation. Personally I keep things trimmed and avoid shaving and waxing – not a fan of the pre pubescent look, and just… Ouch!!
I, being of an older generation, (almost 50), cannot believe any man would want a woman bald down there! So they like the idea of sleeping with a pre-pubescent? Do these men shave themselves too, for women to sleep with little boys? Or is it only men who are into this paedo look? I can’t get away from the twisted psychology of it! Also, I can’t believe they would find bumps, ingrowns and shaving burn more attractive than pubic hair…where will it end? Any man I’ve ever slept with was happy to be having sex, never mind what shape the hair was in! As a post-baby friend of mine once said, when I asked her what it was like sleeping with a new boyfriend for the first time with her ‘baby body’: ‘Once they’re kissing you and obviously want to take your clothes off, it’s not like they’re going to stop once they realise ‘oh my god she’s got stretch marks and a caesarean scar!’ I would think ditto with pubic hair….
Hmm. I’m all about the upside-down triangle. Being a graphic designer, the triangle has to have perfectly straight lines haha. Grooming becomes an artistic endeavour because I spend for EVER getting the lines perfectly straight. Not for any aesthetic reason other than my brain just likes it that way.
But generally, as long as it’s comfortable, doesn’t stick out of the bikini, or make my SO think going down there is a jungle adventure, I’m happy.
I’m not a fan of the all-off look simply because when it starts to grow back it looks like your ladybits are a plucked parrot zombie.
Full bush per REQUEST of my boyfriend! I was horrified at first, as while I never went bare, I always shaved and trimmed the length. He says he loves the softness of a full bush and wants me to be as natural as possible. So now I just keep the bikini lines smooth and the rest au natural. The only negative is that I am paranoid about odor getting trapped in the hair. I keep a cute, decorative canister of fragrance-free baby wipes for sensitive skin in the bathroom for an “every time you go” freshening up!
Love this post as I’m taking this year to celebrate everything VAGINA!
Because next to the occasional shave or tryst or birth, she gets completely ignored.
That said, I used to be a fan of balding her every two weeks but now, reminiscent of today’s hipsters or yesterday’s farmers, I rock a slight shave a the top with a full beard at the bottom. Crazy visual, I know, but very effective.
http://brooklynchateau.blogspot.com/
Any time I’ve read that hair removal on women looks pre-pubescent I think of how different women’s genitalia can look. A larger labia does not look pre-pubescent shaved. Not everyone has the same looking labia. Not everyone’s labia looks the same at 40 as it did at 10! Some women have hair growing ALL over and choose to remove everything but the hair on top the pubis bone; that’s what I do. Your anatomy could dictate your choices, as much as your personal aesthetic does.
Bring back the bush! I try to be confident about my grooming choices but when everyone around is going bare it’s hard to stay steadfast, so thank you for this post.
I have an added bit of anxiety around which route is most acceptable.. I recently started dating women, so these new to me lesbian grooming norms/expectations are still a little hazy.
So interesting Kate! I’d be very curious to know how that changes things. I know Josh has an opinion on what I’ve got going on–even though I ignore it mostly–but when it comes to his grooming I never say anything, although sometimes it’s questionable…
One more thing…. speaking about pain, I don’t feel it, actually prefer there then legs :-)
Hi Anetta,
It was the same for me! It didn’t really hurt me very much either. x
I’m Italian and hairy, but honestly I never even considered Brazilian because it seems too much of a drastic choice and too much maintenance (I’m extremely lazy when it comes to hair). I waxed for a few years on the top and around the bikini line in the summer (didn’t have a boyfriend for many years), but the expense, pain and ingrown hair were too much for me, so I would do it very irregularly.
A couple of years ago I started just shaving the bikini line in the shower, keeping everything trimmed and buying bikinis with a higher waist line, it’s so liberating, quick and easy! I’ve never felt so good, even if I would love to do laser on the bikini sides to eliminate forever the itchiness and discomfort of regrowth. I feel so good that I’ve never even asked my boyfriend what he thinks about my big bush, we have great sex anyways and even if one day he will complain I just feel too liberated to change anything. Now I’m trying to convince my friends to stop this torture as well.
Hi Greta!
I totally get this! This is pretty much what I’m doing now. Glad we’re putting this out here for all of the waxers and lazer-ers to see! x
I’ve found the I prefer a buzz cut. I’m still covered, but it’s just groomed enough that it doesn’t matter what the season is! Of course, it took my husband a while to figure out why he always needed to charge his beard trimmer!
Haha! Sometimes our guys can be so oblivious! x
Okay, in my mid 40’s, have an overt amount of dark pubic hair which has been the bane o my existence until the last 10 years. I could never imagine going bare via waxing or any other route, partly because of preference and partly because pubic hair actually has a function of protection of said nether regions! My solution? I use a cream hair remover in the early onset of spring, no ingrown hairs or razor burn. I then keep it trimmed with a razor, when necessary but if it gets too much I go back to the cream. Works quite well for me.
Super smart! Is there a cream hair remover you would recommend? Would love to try!
I love this conversation Emily! So refreshing to see that so many women don’t want to look like 12 year old girls. This was my exact feeling when I shaved once for my then boyfriend (now husband of 13 years) and I was horrified that I looked like a 12 year old girl. I told him never again, plus the regrowth was horrible. Now, I keep things neat and trimmed and feel like a real woman.
I’ve never waxed largely because I can’t stand the idea of a stranger ripping out all my pubic hair…there’s no way I could endure the AWKWARD. The funny thing is…I used to feel kind of self conscious about not having a Brazilian…but the longer I thought about it the more I just got annoyed with the whole thing…its so ridiculous that women feel any pressure to groom themselves in any particular way when men (for the most part) don’t give it a second thought. So I bought a hair removal cream to keep the bikini line nice and neat and then I quit worrying about it. I also started buying swim suit bottoms that with retro-style low cut legs. I like them better (cute and quirky) and if I’ve been a little lax about using the hair removal cream, you totally can’t tell. LIBERATING not to have to think about the bikini line before a day at the beach. I can just grab my suit and go!
Ever heard of the female “intellectual beard”. The women’s answer to the wood chopper look. The bushier the better.
Neatly trimmed, that’s it! Had a discussion about this at work and was horrified to hear two co workers had had all hair permanently removed. Jeeze, creepy.
I shave when I remember to or when it’s getting a little too bushy for my taste. Basically whenever I feel like it lol. I’ve never waxed or sugared. I just can’t be bothered! No man I’ve met has ever turned sex down because of pubic hair or lack thereof. And my husband doesn’t care. We’re both pretty relaxed with physical ‘prettiness’. I’ve jumped on him after he’s been out cutting the grass or digging in the garden simply because I love that he smells like fresh cut grass LOL so whether or not I’m trimmed down there really does not matter.
I have been getting a full Brazilian (or Hollywood how it is known here in the UK) since I’ve been 13 years old. It is something that I do every month and to be honest I wouldn’t like it any other way. I personally don’t like the feeling of having any pubic hair so I am really considering to get laser hair removal in the near future. I’ve never had anyone complaining about the amount of hair present, or absent for that matter, but I have to say that I have been recently asked by a partner whether I would consider leaving a little bit of hair down there…Apparently it’s becoming fashionable again to leave some pubic hair and not wax/shave it all off. Regardless of trends the decision to wax it all off is entirely mine and what everyone decides to do with their intimate regions should be each one’s personal decision
I love a good bush. One of my partners grew up on 70’s-era pubic hair fullness and totally won me over to that. I think I look more womanly this way. I’ve gotten compliments on it from other partners too, including a “millennial.” Some partners have never said anything one way or the other, but I’ve never had any complaints. :) I wax the sides and back and then leave the front really full.
Can we please mention how degrading can feel to lie down – bare naked down there – with a stranger staring at your vagina and asking if you are dating anyone, given the full bush you’ve grown?
Got me regretting the brazilian straight away, why would I put myself through something like that?
It’s like the Kardashian’s asses, LOVE that someone is making curves great again despite the body standards in fashion, but when you think about it, the reason why they get surgery done is purely sexual, and it’s not the way I want to decide of my body :)
I think as a woman it should come down to what you prefer. What are you most comfortable with? What makes you happy? What makes you feel sexy? Not the latest trend or necessarily the norm but what is right for you. If you can embrace that you’ve figured out the secret…….. The you will have time to think about more important things….
These comments are all so interesting and not what I expected! I guess I’m in the minority, here. Like pretty much all of you, my grooming is for ME, not for my husband. But I like a full wax. It’s smooth and soft and silky. I’ve never felt the “pre-pubescent” connection that it sounds like other women feel when they look at a bare vag. I remove the hair from my legs and armpits, too, but that has never made me feel as though I look like a child. To me, it’s empowering. It’s beautiful and I’m not going to hide it! (No offense to team bush. You do you!)
Hi the Studio!
I really enjoyed reading this, and the comments! thanks for bringing it up!
Since you’re mainly women in the Studio (Hi Eric!) I was wondering…. PMS? Do you talk about it? So you suffer from it? Do you have solutions, or at least tips to deal with it?
Seems that it’s increasing for me over the last couple years. Not particularly pain (manageable) but mainly mood swings, headaches, trouble sleeping, depression, sugar cravings, tenderness … the list goes on.
I’d be curious to hear what you/your readers’ insight on it!
I’ve never been into full waxing. I’ve tried what we call “le ticket de métro” (a narrow rectangle) maybe three times, but always found it annoying to keep (also, hair growing back itch). So for 7 or 8 years now it’s wild & natural. I love the touch (and the smell, sorry if TMI). Boyfriend never said anything. Every 2 years or so, I trim them. Oh and last year, I’ve done some laser on the thighs to make bikini wearing a nonthinker. Happy with it. The less the better.
Fan of the Brasilian here, but my boyfriend likes it au naturale. I am lucky enough that I do not have much hair down there, but I will get a wax and let it grow back fully before getting another (takes about 10 weeks).
Buy a bikini trimmer, never look back:
https://www.amazon.com/Remington-WPG4020C-Bikini-Grooming-Removal/dp/B00BB5YI0Q/ref=zg_bs_13270000011_8?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WZ0DTEBH29G724Y6G4F1
Also, I have found the man who is super concerned about hairlessness to fall directly into a category of general assholes with other terrible traits that are not worth your time. We all have our grooming preferences (I like a trim on both myself and him so you can get to the good parts more easly) but it’s up to the individual. Our bodies our choice on both sides of this issue. Anyone who says otherwise has got to go.
J’ai 26 ans et je dois vous dire que je suis ouverte à tout. Je dois dire que j’aime mon chou (vagin) avec du poils pendant 1-2 mois, après je vais chez les indiennes me faire complètement épiler. Mon épilation dure très longtemps. En somme, je vais seulement mom humeur et mes envies. Mon homme, il apprécis les deux, l’important c’est que c’est propre. J’aimerai essayer le “ticket de métro” se sera mon prochain. Je crois que cette idée de voir cette région avec du poils vient avec l’âge. C’est beau avec ou sans poil. :)
Love to read this article. Thank you so much for your article. It really gives me information that I am looking for :)
why do women even care what a man thinks of her pubic grooming choices, (or lack of pubic grooming choices)?