The Denial of Death
9 years ago by
Don’t let the title scare you – I’m not being morbid, promise!
It’s the name of this amazing not-so-new book that I’m reading…
It brings up some really interesting life changing points (so far).
And I think it’s time this winner of the 1974 Pulitzer Prize had a little resurgence.
At the core of it all, it’s an exploration of the “why?” of human existence. But, more than that (and beyond Freud, if you’re into him) is a spotlight on how we all continue to deny our own mortality, no matter how closely it grazes us – and by refusing to accept it, we fail to live the way we would if we understand the true possibility of death. (Or so, that’s what I’m taking away from it.)
Basically, it’s a call to life – a call to action. To truly live the life we want and to see all of the possibilities that lie before us; to never regret the day we just had, but instead to appreciate the weight of each moment. But written in a really elegant, and deep way (even though it gets a little overly intellectual at times…)
It’s a poignant thing for all of us to consider: how much we have truly lived each day, rather than just going through the motions. Don’t you think?
Do you ever stop at the end of a day and ponder whether you would have lived that day in the same way if it were your last? I’m trying to do that more and more…
The Denial of Death, Ernest Becker.
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Mais rien n’est TROP intello, ou alors si peu de choses.
Au contraire, il y a tellement de futilités produites. Tant mieux si ce livre, que je n’ai pas lu, est un peu “intello”.
j’ai du le lire dans une autre vie, dans celle-là j’ai quitté un premier dreamjob parisien pour faire un tour du monde et un second pour retaper une maison à la campagne et faire du DIY handcrafted ;-)
There are billions of people on this planet who don’t have the luxury of thinking this way. My experience has been that some people use this philosophy as a way to subtly undermine others’ choices in life. Anyway, to each his/her own.
Yep, I agree with you. What’s more – it’s not that simple. The best way is to live like it is your last day and in the same time as if you have a thousand more. Because building, creating something more complex takes time. And a professional once told me that the single most distinct characteristic of mental health versus depression is the desire and ability to make long term plans. So when we are healthy nothing is enough, when we are sick or near death we cherish every day. These are instincts, there is nothing we can do about it. Can’t fight nature. And I spent every day admiring everything we create in spite of our fragility.
Ten years ago, I had the scary experience of coming very, very close to bleeding to death. In the next few months after that, I realized how unhappy I had become at work. I gave my notice. I found a new direction for my career, and although at times it has brought it’s own challenges, I am always glad that I realized how short life might be and made adjustments accordingly.
But consciousness of our mortality doesn’t always have to be about big changes. It also can remind us to be kind to one another. Once I saw a bumper sticker: “Life is short; don’t be a dick.” ‘Nuff said.
Ca a l’air super ! J’arrive pas à le trouver en français, est-ce que quelqu’un l’a vu ?
Great Garance! I wish more people would pose this question. Sometimes, I used to get really freaked out flying. Now, everytime I fly I think of it as a chance to look at my life “renewed” I think about what I did since the last time I took a flight and I ask myself what I would do different in my “next life” AKA after the plane lands! Instead of being freaked out, I find it can be motivating !
Love a book review on this blog! Keep ’em coming.
Tu me donnes envie de le lire. Et pour répondre à ta question, je crois qu’effectivement, “ignorer” notre propre mortalité fait qu’on ne vit peut-être pas aussi intensément que si on n’avait pas le choix et qu’on allait mourir demain. On croit qu’on a du temps et on a tendance à se dire : “Je le ferai plus tard”. Alors que si son donnait tout ce qu’on avait tous les jours comme si ça pouvait s’arrêter n’importe quand, on profiterait certainement beaucoup plus du temps quotidien. Comme le dit l’adage hein : “Vis comme en mourant tu voudrais avoir vécu”.
Yes. Sometimes I do and the answer always scares me, because the answer is NO.
My parents died when I was a kid; I almost died twice, at the ages of 21 and 44. I am 50 now, but I have the wisdom of a 90-year-old. I’m not kidding. Despite the difficult times, I have a strength that I have gained that I wouldn’t trade. It’s a gift I wish I could bottle and give away.
Denial of Death is a great book. It deserves to be read from time to time.
NEADA,
Thank you for your review. Please keep sharing great reads.