4 years ago by

We’re back! With another Pocket PMF – Quarantine Edition. This time we’re talking about the shame that’s bubbled up around the right and wrong ways to quarantine.

And for the ‘show notes’ we now so lovingly call them.

Here is The Atlantic article Emily mentioned.

Here is a podcast from the New York Times that Veronica, Emily, and Garance all enjoyed for a realistic understanding of what our lives will look like for the next few years.

And here is the incomparable Brené Brown talking about the dangers of comparative suffering, mentioned by Veronica.


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  • Maricar Helmer 24 avril 2020, 5:53 / Répondre

    Thank you in advance, Maybe I am a little strange because with this Covid situation, I realize it’s so easy for me to stay/work home just with my husband. Being an immigrant to the US for 5 years, that anyway my friends and family are in other countries — the time difference is hard to sync moods. It is easier to just have listened to your pocket conversations and feel like I am hanging around with my friends than to schedule my own zoom. And it is hard to make new friends here in real life because everyone seems to be competing all the time or attacking all the time. Also, there is so much going on online like Coursera now is giving Yale University The Science of Well-being course for free. So it is nice to try something that I never found time/money to do like go to Yale and take this course. I know I am privileged to be able to take advantage of this tine. I have to say before someone gets upset.

  • Thanks for this pocket PMF, so down to earth and refreshing, also thanks for sharing the articles.

    Here in the UK we have ‘Clap for carers’ every Thursday at 8pm, although it shows great spirit and appreciation ( & some brands are giving free products to certain hospitals for nurses and medical staff) it makes me wonder if the appreciation will last after this crisis has been overcome.

    We as humans often slip back into our usual ways and habits, behavioural science tells us that humans are generally not rational creatures.

    There has been analysis saying that this pandemic will affect poorer countries more, my brother in law is a doctor in Bangladesh, where there are little facilities in relation to a densely populated country and where medical staff have next to no PPE. Also garment workers who form the backbone of big fast fashion brands have lost their jobs as brands have cancelled contracts these workers have basically no financial support from the government.

    I hope this pandemic will force governments and communities to create better social structures to cushion future shocks. Ultimately I believe for change to happen change will have to come from people, consciously, respectfully and with empathy for others.

  • Ladies! Thank you so much for this brilliant conversation. You touched on things which I am sure a lot of us have been thinking about during this really bizarre, confusing and in truth rather scary time. I live on my own, and keep thinking how really lucky I am with this that and the other, so much so that I actually started believing it does not matter how I actually really feel. And I am glad you mentioned this. I am actually not ok with this at all… Not going to go further, but just want to thank you for being back with the pocket PMF, so refreshing, funny and real as always. Please do go on, even after we are out of this mess. Love you all and send big hugs and xxxxx from UK

  • Josie McNaught 26 avril 2020, 9:16 / Répondre

    Kia ora Garance – congratulations on choosing Wellington for your isolation… I was born and grew up there but hadn’t lived there for years until 2017/18 when we returned for two years after living in Auckland. It was hard! Even though we lived in Mt Victoria which is really cool, Wellington is so quiet and so « government ». You may not have experienced it yet but it moves to a government timetable – most people work Monday-Friday 9 am – 5 pm. Coffee at 10, lunch at 12.30, out of the office by 6. The streets around Parliament are EMPTY by 6.30 pm! Now the lockdown is ending hopefully you can explore further than your bubble – and find some of the things I found that helped me to survive my years there- we are back in Auckland now – yay… – Hunters and Collectors on Cuba Street – BEST vintage in Wellington, Culo del Mundo in Majoribanks St – best pisco sour in Wellington, Mossman Gallery in Garrett Street and Robert Heald Gallery off Cuba St and also Suite Gallery… Peoples Coffee! a must! Especially the cafe in Newtown – I still get my Peoples Coffee beans delivered to me in Auckland. Also Immigrants Son and Raglan Roast coffee – excellent. Finding the fun people to play with is a bit hard because of the weather (everyone runs home to get out of the cold) and there are fewer people of course, We finally found some great people to hang out with -(Ben, Bea, Janey, Helena – Wellie is small you might bump into them) usually at each other’s houses and that was fantastic – but spend an evening at Scotty and Mal’s or catch a show at the Ivy Bar (both Cuba Street) and you won’t be disappointed…Best baccala outside Italy – well outside Venice I should say – Ombre in Cuba Street is hard to beat. I was in Paris, this time last year enjoying an extended stay in the Marais and I was planning to be back there in June sometime (and Berlin and Portugal) so if you are feeling even more isolated geographically I sympathise! That’s why we need your online presence and your pardon my French catch ups- they are so thoughtful and funny too! Stay warm and out of the wind – hard I know down there – and I hope you can see some of the country before you have to fly away…. xx

  • Thanks again really enjoyed this. Suggestion for a future podcast, one with Vanessa and her ex ex, they were also really enjoyable.

  • Katherine 27 avril 2020, 4:45 / Répondre

    I really enjoyed this episode, thanks for sharing all of your thoughts with us! It reminded me of a conversation I was having with a friend the other day, who has been feeling really guilty because not only is her work fine to do from home right now, she’s actually doing better than ever because the product she sells (technology to work from home) is highly in demand right now. It’s obviously understandable to feel guilty if you are doing well while others suffer, but surely as a society we shouldn’t want everyone to have to suffer if they don’t need to? Shouldn’t we be glad that some people are doing ok? Our society has now this weird way of twisting of empathy for those who are suffering or more vulnerable into a total lack of empathy for others who we put in a category of « privileged. »

  • India Reynolds 27 avril 2020, 10:10 / Répondre

    Inherent Bias….. we all have it – maybe we need to start declaring it somehow ? Understanding that all peoples opinions and ways of approaching topics ( including those who comment negatively ) come from their own inherent bias…..helps so much to approach all interactions with this in the back of the mind. xx love you guys xx love it all!

  • Jorge Alexandre Teixeira 28 avril 2020, 2:33 / Répondre

    Olá , Olá !!! Really enjoyed this conversation!!! And …i don’t know , i think in the end of This ( that I don’t think is coming soon ) we will all see a new Human species on our streets and it kinda scares me a bit , you know ? Meanwhile ,you wake every morning knowing that you don’t need to put your shoes on !!! But can i tell you Girls one thing ? You are not my heroes but i LOVE You anyway !!! You are Beautiful !!! Please, send also my Best Wishes to your Talented Christina Holevas !!! Miss her here !!!

    Um Beijinho Grande de Lisboa !!! *_*

  • Really enjoy listening to you guys and seeing your faces with your voices! My boyfriend thought I was in a zoom chat with friends just now and it really felt like it:) Thanks for the great discussions always.


  • Hello there! I just wanted to take the time to thank you for sharing this post it has been extremely helpful for myself as well as sharing with friends and family.
    I came back to write a simple
    Most especially for sharing Brené Brown’s Collective Suffering podcast
    1. It helped correct my misguided mindset of whenever hearing someone complain or start to open up how difficult lockdown has been, I too quickly mentioned (to self righteous is the word) but, look we have jobs we are able to pay to pay are rent have food, stopping their what I viewed at the time a « self pity party ». Yet of course I dealt personally with the same troubles, on my own without voicing basically I was a hypocrite.
    2. I sent this podcast as an apology saying we are all suffering in various ways that I was wrong to set their valid emotions/suffering aside.
    3. The vulnerable sweet messages from my sister is Chile who has to go back on lockdown who is with a collective group of people which can be more difficult and challenging at times. Her sweet message of gratitude for this podcast and how it has been a lifesaver for her community was very humbling to hear.
    4. Thank you for helping me grow in humility / self awareness in seeing a different perspective then my own and spreading it to others.
    Much LOVE and light to you all and keep on keeping on as my mother would say!
    Thank you for your work and your rippled effect water of HOPE!

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